


You're the Universe to Me.

by xxDeja_Uchihaxx



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Eren Yeager, Christmas, Eren - Freeform, Eventual Levi/Eren Yeager, First Kiss, First Relationship, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Kidnapping, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Swears, M/M, Major Character Injury, Nightmares, Oral Sex, POV Eren Yeager, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Rape, Relationship(s), Rescue Missions, Sarcasm, Sarcastic Levi, Smut, Snow, Survival, Swearing, Titan Eren Yeager, Titans, Training, Trials, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-25 05:13:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 69,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2609789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxDeja_Uchihaxx/pseuds/xxDeja_Uchihaxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After complaining to Erwin that Eren wasn't able to train while he was away, they get stuck on the same team on a mission outside the walls. The recon mission goes awry leaving the two men stranded to fend for themselves. They have no 3-D maneuver gear and no way to get help. And the cherry on top of it all? One of them has a broken arm! Then lets throw a little (a lot!) of sleep deprivation into the mix and see what our boys get themselves into.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in a long (Really long!!!) time!!!! So please be patient with me =] Comments appreciated please <3333

6:45 am. The clock ticked incessantly, as Eren watched the second hand move around the face, he groaned as he finally gave up on any thought of sleep and got out of bed for the day. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. When was the last time he got a decent night’s sleep? He couldn’t remember. All he could think about were the constant nightmares plaguing his dreams. 

Many soldiers would have longed for a room of their own, but not Eren. Not for this reason. A few months ago he awoke in his sleep screaming and panicking, only to awake every comrade in his room, and it had just gotten progressively worse. He functioned on coffee and exercise to get him through his day.  
He grabbed his uniform from his dresser and hit the showers long before any of the other scouts were awake. Memories flashed as the water cascaded over him, but he just pushed them to the back of his mind. He wasn’t quick to finish up like he usually was in the shower, as the weather was beginning to change and he welcomed the waves of heat on his achy tired body. He put his arms up against the wall and leaned forward, allowing the water to pour over his head. He wondered where his next assignment was going to take him. They had a big meeting at HQ today at 9:30. Everyone would be getting their new assignments for the beginning of the season. Some of the squad had high hopes for positions close to friends and family around the holidays, Eren could really care less as long as he knew Mikasa and Armin were safe and doing well. Family was a thing of the past to him. Another sigh escaped his lips as he finally broke away from the warm stream. 

He decided to treat himself to a coffee from the local coffee shop instead of the usual syrup they served in the dining hall, which he immediately regretted as he stepped outside into the frigid wind. When did the temperature drop? A shudder ran through his and he hugged his thin coat close to his body. Hopefully they would be issuing the winter gear soon, or else everyone would be freezing in the summer uniforms when the snow hit. He entered the coffee shop and welcomed the warmth and the delicious smells as the bell rang. He placed his order, the largest strongest thing they had, paid, and moved down to the second counter to wait for his coffee. There a familiar face stood waiting for his as well. 

Captain Levi was leaning against the wall, arms cross, with the same stoic expression on his face as usual. He looked up and his eyes connected with the approaching scout. The grey eyes seemed to stare through him, and almost made him stop in his place as Levi looked him over.

“G-Good morning, Captain Levi, Sir.” Eren said as he joined him at the counter. Shit. Why did I stutter? Why is he staring at me like that? 

“Morning, Jaeger. You’re up awfully early aren’t you?” Levi asked as he continued to look over Eren. It had been a few months since he’d last seen the boy. He looked…different somehow. Like something was missing. Levi grabbed his mug, and stayed at the counter until Eren had received his as well.  
Damn. He wants to have coffee with me. “I ugh, just had a rough night last night, sounded like there was a rat in my room. Kept me up all night.” Eren said as he also grabbed his mug and followed Levi’s motions to the table near the fireplace. 

“A rat huh?” Levi said as he peered across the table. He looked at Eren’s face and how dark the circles under his eyes were. He truthfully was concerned. After all it was his responsibility to look after Eren. “Anyways, have I missed anything the last couple of months?” Levi asked before taking a drink of coffee.  
“Oh that’s right, you just got back from the supply mission a few days ago right?” Eren asked as he finally became intrigued in the conversation. Anything about the outside, would perk him up to talk. Levi knew that. Levi nodded but a grimace overcame his face. 

“I wouldn’t exactly call it a success. We lost a couple of soldiers while we were outside the walls and we didn’t really get much to show for it. A few supplies, but nothing to brag about. Certainly nothing to sacrifice two scouts over.” Levi said as he looked away from Eren. Eren frowned, he knew things like that happened. It was part of the responsibility of becoming a scout. Those soldiers knew it too. Change the subject, the mood is too heavy. Come on brain. Think.

“So do you think we will be getting the new gear soon?” Eren asked eagerly, drawing Levi’s attention away from the subject. What a weird kid. 

“I’d say so, seeing that the snow will be coming soon. Miserable weather.” Levi said as he shivered and scooted closer to the fire. “They waited too damn long, that’s for sure. Every single year they do this. Erwin is a good commander and everything, but he needs to learn common sense sometimes. You can’t defend your city with soldiers freezing to death if a Titan attacks.” Levi hissed. He glanced at Eren and those bright green eyes staring back at him, somehow….they didn’t seem as bright as he remembered. Maybe he was just losing it. Or maybe it was the lighting in the ancient coffee shop. Who knows? Eren just remained silent, not knowing how to respond. Conversation with the Captain was awkward to say the least. 

“Say, brat, have you been able to train with Hanji any?” Eren took a sip of coffee while trying to figure out how exactly he was going to respond to that exact question. 

“No….I haven’t really been able to. Erwin doesn’t want me shifting without you around to…..’Take care of me if something goes wrong’.” Levi’s eyes narrowed, but his attention returned to his coffee. 

“So let me get this straight…” Levi asked calmly. “You have been without any Titan-Shifter training for 2 and a half months?” It wasn’t unusual for scouts to get called away suddenly, so when Levi got called on a supply mission, Eren waited patiently. Visiting Hanji every so often and asking if she’d heard anything at all. Eren felt red spread across his cheeks and ears, he felt like he was being scolded by his kindergarten teacher for coloring outside the lines.

“I-I am sorry Captain I-“

“Don’t Apologize. It’s not your fault. You followed superior orders from Erwin.” Levi finished off the rest of his coffee and thumped the mug down on the table. “I’m just pissed that all those months of hard work as just went down the drain.” Levi growled as he stood and brushed of his uniform. “Come on, we are going to talk to Erwin.” Levi said as he practically pulled Eren out of his seat and out of the coffee shop. 

“Sir, Is there anyone else who can train with me while you are away?” Eren asked as he almost tripped over the threshold of the coffee shop. 

“That’s what we are going to go ask our fair commander, Jaeger. I’m sure he has an answer to our question.” Eren’s eyes widened as he stayed beside the captain. Levi was pissed, his arms were stiff at his sides and he had fallen silent. If there was anything Levi didn’t like, besides losing his soldiers of course, it was his time being wasted.

After a very awkward silent walk, they finally arrived at HQ. They weaved through the hustle and bustle of preparing for the upcoming meeting in just a matter of less than an hour now. Levi had taken ahold of the corner of Eren’s jacket and led him through the massive crowd up to Erwin’s office. He pounded on the door like a mad man.

“Come in Levi!” 

“How’d you know it was me?” he asked starkly as he strode into the room with Eren in tow. Levi asked as he crossed his arms and scowled at Erwin. 

“I saw you two running across the courtyard like idiots.” Erwin explained without looking up from his paperwork. “What do you want?” 

“I want you to address me like a fucking equal for once!” Levi hissed. Eren’s face was blood red at his point. He wanted to disappear into the wall or even the rug would do. “Look me in the eye when you talk to me. It’s important.” Erwin’s eyes narrowed at Levi. 

“Well obviously it must’ve been if it couldn’t have waited until after the seasonal meeting, and you didn’t even bother to schedule an appointment with me to meet…”

“Oh give me a break!” Levi muttered. If looks could kill. “What was up with you not letting Eren train while I was away?” He got straight to the point. 

“So that’s what this is about?”

“Yes Erwin. That’s what this is about. Losing months of training because you can’t free up some of your own time to watch the boy for an afternoon.” Erwin grimaced at Levi. 

“Eren Out. Now.” Eren practically ran out of the door and slouched down the wall outside. Who knew if he’d even get to transform again? He sighed and ran his fingers through is  
hair. Did Levi not want to practice with him anymore? Well I guess that’s understandable considering the things I said. Can’t keep my mouth shut. Eren winced as he heard yelling inside the office. He heard Levi yell things like Titan-Shifter babysitter, and it’s “not his fault he’s that way”. Finally things calmed down inside the office, and things calmed down inside Eren as well. He remembered the trial and the great lengths Levi went through to save him. There’s no way he’d go an abandon him now right?  
He heard the knob twist and Levi walked out the door, shutting it quietly behind him. Eren didn’t say anything, he just looked at the clock in the hallway. 9:25, “Sir, we should probably head downstairs for the meeting…” was all he could muster up the strength to say.

“Erwin said he’d work something out…” Eren’s eyes lit up and he brought himself to his feet.

“Really?!” 

“No…I just said it for fun idiot, yes. He muttered something about last minute arrangements before he made me leave and he started ripping his clipboard apart.” Levi said as he began walking towards the stairs. They reached the bottom and looked out into the sea of brown leather. 

“Thanks, Captain Levi.” Eren said with a weak smile. Levi gave a small nod and the parted ways to find their regular squad mates.

Whispers began to arise as 9:30 came and went. Erwin was never late. Levi curse under his breath. He was sure this was his fault and he wouldn’t hear the end of it. Something to do with those damn clipboards. 

At 9:35 Erwin stepped out onto the balcony to address everyone. “Sorry for the delay, there has been a last minute change of squad assignment. Please see your newly assigned squads and assignments on the commander boards in the lobby. Each squad will have a Captain, listed in green. They will receive a packet with all of the need to know information for the mission. Every person in this room will pick up a brown parcel from the storage room on the way out. That is all. Dismissed!” 

The hordes gathered around the board to see what all the fuss was about and Armin began to panic. “Eren! Eren! Why aren’t you with us?!?!” 

“Surely you just missed it Armin?” Eren said as he tried to peer over heads. 

“No, your name isn’t on our list. We were in the front.” Mikasa said as she stood next to the two with the ever present frown on her face. Eren’s eyes got wide. Surely. No. He couldn’t have. Eren watched as the crown began to dissipate and the watched Captain Levi wonder over to his own board to take it. He observed it for a moment, then shot a glance over his shoulder to the balcony. Erwin was still standing there, with a smirk on his face. He snorted once and walked off. Levi sighed and grabbed the board and walked over to Eren.

“I guess you’ve figured it out then?” Levi said as he showed me the clipboard. There Eren Jaeger was right underneath his name. “That smug bastard. I guess we will be stuck with each other for a while then Eren. And it looks like we are going outside the walls.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fateful day they get lost outside the walls, stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: If you are disturbed by injury type things....I don't want to spoil it and I want to post a disclaimer at the same time gaaah! Just skip over. Blood, bone crunching, ect.

Levi’s POV

A few days later we packed up the horses for a recon mission, just as the first heavy snow of the season was beginning to fall. I was waiting for everyone by the gate with my horse, and as usual I was the first to arrive. I had secured a small pack on my back, to lighten the load on my horse, and if God forbid we got separated from our supplies at least we wouldn’t be totally screwed. Luckily Erwin had enough common sense to hand out parcels to all the soldiers including their winter gear just in time. I drew my cloak close to my body as wisps of my own breath circled me. My old squad was weighing heavily on my mind today, the grim weather, the feeling of dread. Dread? Where did that come from? I stood up straight and tried to shake off the feeling. Something still didn’t seem right. Maybe it was the lack of sleep I had been getting? Or on the other side of that the lack of my 4th cup of coffee this morning. 

Either way, I didn’t feel like myself. Unusual nightmares were befalling me at night. I awoke to them regularly, the dreams about my late comrades. Even the dreams that began good, ended up in that same damn forest full of mangled bodies and ripped apart limbs and entrails. Restless nights were making my days seem like a living nightmare. My body seemed like it couldn’t fully recover from my training throughout the day. I probably had time to sleep a while longer this morning, but I figured that a nice warm shower would get me going better than tossing and turning and fighting against my own mind. 

Once again Eren arrived earlier than expected. My God, was it possible that the kid looked even worse? I raised an eyebrow as I stared at him. “That must be one monster rat you’ve got there, brat.” I scoffed. He didn’t even look at me. I frowned and grabbed his shoulder as he tried to walk past. I looked him over carefully. His eyes were red, not just tired red, but like he’d been crying. I don’t deal well with that sappy shit, but I gave it my best “You alright to go, Jaeger?” He just nodded, set his bags down on the ground next to me, and walked silently over to the stable to fetch his horse. 

After packing and securing everything onto his horse in silence, we stood there and waited for the rest of the team to arrive. Jean was the next to arrive, followed by Connie, Dieter, Sasha, and a few others. “Alright, let’s get moving!” I commanded. Eren took up position next to me and we took off at a strong gallop. 

I had explained that the point of the mission was to not only gather information on the Titians, but also try to recover valuable resources left behind when the “Outside world” had fallen. Erwin and the others had finally given the clear to bring back a small amount of things that we could use for research. 

Later That Day

We had been traveling for most of the day without incident, and made it surpassingly a very far way without spotting a single titan.

“Levi, are we stopping for the night?” Eren asked, as he looked at the soon to be setting sun. Good question. Titan don’t travel at night. We can go to the checkpoint on the map if we continue on without worry and reach it tonight if we wanted to. I looked back at my squad. A bunch of younglings. 

“Do you guys have the guts to pull an all-nighter like we used to?” I smirked. Surely they would accept that challenge. It’s not like I was that much older than them anyways, six years tops. Then I looked over at Eren, about to slump over on his horse and I immediately regretted my challenge. “Well, let just find a place to camp for the night-r

“Roaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrr” the ground shook below our feet and our horses spooked. A 15 meter titan came running after us through the clearing. Where did it even come from?! Eren’s horse bucked, throwing him off and into the path of the other stampeding horses. I barely had time to grab him and pull him up before Jean’s horse ran him over.

“Captain!” Eren yelled as he clawed for the straps on the saddle. 

“Hold on!” I kicked the horse and we went flying through that forest, sure we had our 3-D gear, but there was no way I’d lose even more supplies by getting off of the horses now. We ran deeper and deeper into the forest. “Eren, shoot the flare! Stay together everyone!” The sound of hooves were becoming muted. Shit. Damn horses. Don’t know how to control fear. I gripped the reins tighter. 

The damn titan was still after me and Eren. Snow was getting deeper the further out we went and it was becoming harder to navigate in the forest. Shit. A dead end. I swiftly turned and went right between the titan’s legs and started running the opposite way.

“Captain, if you let me Shift, I can-“

“NO. End of story Jaeger. We haven’t trained in months, there’s no telling how hard it’ll be for you to control it!” I yelled. “Only as a last resort!” I gave him that as an only option. If an only if. 

Somehow the stupid excuse for a being (the horse) managed to stumble and cause the titan to catch up to us. With one ear bleeding roar, I barely had time to plant my gear into a nearby tree before he had me and Eren soaring through the air with one swift backbreaking kick. I opened my eyes as we were soaring to see bits and pieces of my maneuver gear floating all around me before everything went white.

 

Eren’s POV

The last thing I remember before hitting the ground was being chased by a titan on the back of Levi’s horse. He wouldn’t let me transform, and I can’t say I blame him. He had finally caught up to us and sent us soaring through the sky with a bone crushing kick. Levi’s gear was toast, I hear it crush on impact. I wasn’t sure about mine. I remember reaching for him in the air, just clawing desperately to get to him, but we were too far apart. He was headed straight for a tree and I couldn’t stop it. Everything was moving in slow motion. The only thing I could think to do was transform, even if only partially. I bit into my hand and reach for him with my titan arm, just in time to cushion his back and head and he collided with the tree. His arm still hit with a bone breaking crunch, and I knew instantly something had snapped. He was out cold and as soon as my head hit the ground all I saw was white. 

“Brat……brat….wake up… shit…” I felt Levi shake my shoulder and my eyelids fluttered awake. My hand was still pouring blood were I bit into it earlier, funny how it doesn’t heal.  
No. Not really funny. It hurt like a bitch. “You okay Jaeger?” I shot awake upon remembering what happened and he reach out a hand to slow me down. “Slow down. Go slow. Easy.” He gently eased me up off the ground to a kneeling position so I could see what was going on. Just as I had thought, Levi’s arm was hanging at his side. And better yet, night had nearly fallen while we were both unconscious. 

“Shit. I’m sorry, I tried, all I could do was-“

“It’s fine. I’d be dead if it wasn’t for you Eren. If I had hit that tree like that without you catching me. There’d be no way. “Levi said as he looked down. 

“Here let me bandage you up.”

“No, we need to find shelter first.” Levi grimaced as he stood. I frowned in disbelief and followed my captain with the clearly broken arm. He must be in excruciating pain. And borderline shock. 

We found a tree that had enormous roots, big enough for us both to fit comfortably inside of and we sat down. I took off my winter cloak and underneath my summer cloak remained. 

“Why were you wearing both?” Levi asked as he leaned up against the roots. 

“Just in case one got soaked, I could switch.” I shrugged and grabbed the knife from my belt and examined his arm. At least my dad did teach me how to set a broken bone. Grey eyes followed my every action. I looked over his arm, noting the small wounds from the impact against the tree.

“Jaeger please reassure me that you know exactly what that fuck you are doing.” Levi said as he watched me. His right hand was shaking. He was either nervous or going into shock. His furrowed brow showed his pain and frustration.

“My dad taught me how, so just hang in there.” I cut a small strip off my cloak and dunked it in the snow outside and placed it on my commander’s forehead. The other strips were long and methodical, with particular rhyme and reason. I eyed the small pack remaining on his back. Mine was lost with all the commotion, but somehow, his had stayed in place. “Captain, do you have any medical supplies in that bag?” 

“Maybe a small kit.” Levi said as struggled to take off the pack. I carefully moved it over his damaged arm and set it in from of him. He laid out the contents in front of us so we could see what we were working with. A small supply of military rations, a white box which he promptly handed me, a couple of bars of soap (only Levi), a flint, a large wool blanket, and an object wrapped in a white cloth. “Oh yeah, this could definitely be helpful. Levi sighed as he unwrapped the bottle of brown liquid. I could see now it was a new bottle of whisky that had been carefully wrapped in two clean crisp cravats. 

“Say Jaeger,” Levi shuttered at the thought. “Before we do…that. Can you go gather some firewood so we can bed down for the night? He was shivering now. I silently nodded and placed all of my supplies to the side. I returned after a couple of trips with what satisfied Levi with twice as much firewood as we needed for the night. I struck the flint and the pile of grass and dried leave I had found under the roots we were sitting under burst into flame. I delicately blew on them and nursed our fire into being. I heard liquid slosh, as Levi put the bottle to his lips. His cheeks had gone pink now, and his eyes were a little glassy, but out here where there wasn’t such a thing as a pain killer, so I stood with his decision to crack open the bottle. We were royally screwed if a titan came along anyways, but they usually didn’t roam at night. 

“Okay, you ready?” I asked as I laid out the supplies in front of him. I quickly went over the wounds on his arm with an antiseptic solution. Then I wrapped my hand around his wrist. He winced at me and gave me a sharp nod as he braced himself against the roots. With a stomach sinking pop, his arm was set where it needed to be.

“FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!! SHIIIIIT!!! JAEGAR!!” Tears welled up in his eyes and he spewed out obscenities. 

“Don’t Move! I calmed him as best as I could and began wrapping his arm tightly in the bandages. The last bit of cloak made a sling, which I adjusted so it was as comfortable as possible around his neck. He grunted and brought the bottle up to his lips again. After I was done fiddling with his bandages he finally relaxed and leaned up against the tree with a sigh. His brow was still furrowed and he was still shaking.

“Captain, sir. You should probably try to lay down. Your body needs to recover after that.”

“DON’T-command me Jaeger.” Levi said as he stared at me. I frowned and just watch the man in front of me sit there, sweating and shaking.

“S-sir. I think you may be going into shock.” I raised the concern in my voice and set down next to my commander. “How are you feeling?” 

“Little dizzy, probably from the alcohol.” His breathing quickened and he studied me. “I don’t feel so great after all Jaeger.” He handed me the bottle. He had barely drunk enough to make anyone THAT lightheaded over that amount of time. Maybe the equivalent of 3 oz. I checked his pulse and surely enough it was beating too quickly. 

“Calm down, Captain. I eased him onto his back in front of the warm fire, and seeing that he had already packed everything back up inside the backpack (Except the blanket and the bottle), I put it under his feet and elevated his legs. He let out a small chuckle. 

“A lot to go through for an idiot that can’t even keep their fucking team together…” he muttered, almost un-audible. I didn’t reply, I just focused on the task at hand. He would be pissed in the morning once he realized how dirty he was from laying on the ground, but he was half delirious now. I unrolled the wool blanket and draped it over him. He whimpered as it made contact with his arm.

“I’m so sorry…”I whispered. Everything was quiet now, so harsh words didn’t seem fitting. Even the crackle of the fire seemed out of place. I leaned up against the back of the tree and kept an eye on Levi as he slept. All he needed was an idiot like me screaming and throwing a fit in the middle of the night because I couldn’t control my dreams. So I just sat there and watched over Levi as he slept.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren are struggling to make it through their first night of survival. How will it turn out by morning?

Levi’s POV

Blood. Blood everywhere. I brought my hands up to examine them, they were covered. My clothes were covered. Limbs and body parts were scattered around me in the clearing. I could feel my heart speeding up as I began to panic. I couldn’t find the titan that had done this to my comrades. Pain rushed through me, through my arm, but I kept reaching. Reaching for them. For them to come back to me. But all that came to me were the sounds of my screams. And a familiar voice trying to pull me away from the bloody situation, trying to call me back…”Captain, Levi…captain…”

My eyes shot open. Shit. I wasn’t was I. Eren stood over me with a concerned look in his eyes. It was still night, so I wasn’t sure if I had been asleep for long or not. “You were screaming. I’m sorry…I didn’t want you to draw the titans to our location…” he said as he looked away. Well I guess he was bound to find out my secret at some point during the expedition…I just didn’t think it’d be this soon…and like this. He still had his hand on my shoulder and truthfully, the comfort felt nice. He must’ve seen the terror in my eyes for   
that split second. I sighed and slumped back against the ground. “Are you alright?” he asked as he looked at my arm, as if asking me if I was in pain or not. 

“Fine brat. I’ll tell you my fucking secret…I have night terrors…almost every night. I can’t really fall into a deep sleep without dreaming about that night back in the forest when my team got torn into bits and pieces…and it’s just gotten worse and worse…things that didn’t even happen that day are starting to appear in my dreams and I just can’t get past them.” I said as I put my hand up to my tired face. I looked over Eren’s expression, waiting for him to judge me. His mouth just opened slightly, trying to find the right words to say.

“Y-you have nightmares too Captain?” 

“Cut the Captain crap Eren! Not with a conversation like this. It’s just us here. Please, talk to me like I’m human. Call me by my name.” Eren went red and looked away from me. 

“Unless it makes you too uncomfortable.” I smirked. Had I struck a nerve with the brat?

“L-Levi…I have nightmares too…they had to move me. In the barracks I mean. I kept screaming in the middle of the night waking everyone up.” The kid said with a frown. I haven’t really been sleeping right lately. I finally had gotten the last precious piece of the puzzle. The circles, being up so early, the lack of spark. The poor kid was exhausted. We were kindred spirits fighting the same losing battle. Reality struck as my arm began to throb and I groaned. The cold was getting to it now. Even if I was right by the fire, it wasn’t helping.

“This is the best time in the world for a broken arm.” I said through gritted teeth, “This cold isn’t helping. “Eren, I had no idea. I couldn’t fit the pieces together. I knew something was wrong. You didn’t seem like yourself. When did they start?” His hand was still on my shoulder, it was so warm. Hanji had mentioned something before about Eren’s temperature being a little higher than normal. He pulled his hand back and it made me shiver as my shoulder instantly cooled. He pulled his knees up to his chest and placed his head on top. 

“A few months ago I suppose. They’ve just gotten progressively worse like yours. I dream about death as well. About friends and soldiers, and…my mom. About titans destroying everything. And everyone.” Eren said as I could tell he was trying to choke back tears. Again with the sappy shit? I sighed and reluctantly put my hand on his knee, trying to comfort the poor kid in some way. Eren looked up at me through his tear glossed eyes just in time to see me wince as my arm throbbed. 

“Levi-“

“It’s just the cold. It’s making my arm ache.” I said as a particularly cold gust blew into our make shift shelter, even causing Eren to shiver. I looked down at the wool blanket. There was obviously room for two. “Get under Jaeger.” I motioned to my wounded side. His eyes got wide. “No buts, it’s a command. I can’t have my only chance at survival out here freeze to death. Besides, you may warm some of this ache out of my arm.” I said with a grimace. Crimson spread across the cheeks of my subordinate as he climbed underneath the blanket. 

 

Eren’s POV

Levi had commanded me to get under the blanket with him, which I had no intentions of doing, but he made me. I could feel my face turning red. It was no secret that I had felt physically attracted to ‘Humanity’s Most Powerful Soldier.’ He was definitely something to look at, so it was a little more than awkward to climb under the blanket with him. Of course he didn’t know of my attraction towards him, I hoped. Could he see the red? I shivered and brought the blanket up closer to my face as I scooted closer to his side. He relaxed his arm against me a bit and I felt him sigh in relief. I looked up to see his eyes on me again.

“Embarrassed Jaeger? You are the color of a beet.” What an ass. He certainly lives up to his reputation. He chuckled a little, something I never thought I’d heard Levi do. “Never been this close to anyone?” he asked. I shook my head without looking him in the eyes.

“Just Mikasa when we were younger, but she’s my sister.” I mentioned. “We would share a bed occasionally.” Levi smirked. I could still feel his eyes on me. He was enjoying my torture. I could tell. I started feeling my skin crawl. 

“Then I won’t pick on you too badly. Just get warm. That’s why we are doing this anyways.” He scooted even closer to me, and I could feel the heat start to radiate off of him. 

“Look at me Eren.” My eyes met his. I knew he was staring at my flush cheeks and my red ears. “You need to sleep. You look exhausted. Tomorrow is going to be hell. From here on out for the next few days is going to be all about survival. You need energy.” My eyes widened.

“I-I’m fine really. I need to-“

“Sleep. It’s a command. You are no good to me dozing off all day.” I frowned as I looked at Levi.

“But what if I start screaming?” 

“I’ll wake you up. Don’t worry so much, that’s probably why we both have nightmares in the first place. Manifestations of our worries in the present.” I sighed and tried to relax against Levi, which was nearly impossible to do. I was nervous. Nervous that I’d wake him (he needed to recover more than I did), nervous that he’d think I was crazy and I was going to shift in my sleep, nervous my screaming would draw unwanted titan attention. I balled my fist up and squeezed my eyes shut. “Switch sides damn brat.” My eyes popped open to see Levi’s eyes still on me. I blushed again as Levi had me carefully move across him to the other side. He scooted closer to the fire, to warm his arm, and it made my stomach sink. I couldn’t even do that much for him. I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair. “Grab my pack kid.” I reach it to him without a sound and he positioned it under his head. “Come back, I’m getting cold again.” He said with a smirk as he yanked on my cloak. 

“Wh-what.” He threw the blanket back over me and pulled me closer than before. I could see now why he had moved around. He wanted me on his un-injured side. “B-But…”

“Shut up.” He hushed me as his arm snaked around my shoulder. He eased my head down onto his shoulder and his hand tangled in my hair. I was laying on my side towards him and he was laying on his back. “Eren. Go to sleep. Please.” I felt his fingers comb through my hair and I let a sigh escape my lips. I know he had a smirk on his face, but I didn’t dare look up. I know my face resembled the color of a cardinal. 

“O-okay.” I reach out a shaky arm to reach around him, sure I was going to explode from embarrassment. I had never even held hands with anyone other than my sister as we played. What if he didn’t want me to? What if he just withdrew altogether? I didn’t want to lose that hand in my hair. I took back my shaky hand and placed it back at my side.

“Eren its fine. It’s just us here.” Levi whispered gently. Had I even heard him speak that gently before? No never. I opened my eyes to look up. I couldn’t look away, the slightest tinge of pink crept across his nose and cheeks as well. With the same shaky fingers I reach them across his midriff and pulled myself closer to him. I was shaking all over. I couldn’t think clearly. What was wrong with me? Did I have feelings for Levi? 

“I-I’m sorry I-I” I began to stutter meaningless words. His fingers froze in my hair. 

“Shhhhhhh. We don’t have to think about it right now, okay. Just get comfortable and rest.” I wanted to ask so many questions. I didn’t know a damn thing about love, about relationships, all I knew about sex is what I had heard explained to me and the stories I had heard in the barracks. I just nodded and returned my head back to Levi’s shoulder, where his fingers began to comb through my hair again. My breathing began to slow and I finally relaxed and fell into a deep slumber.

 

Levi’s POV

Here I was, I broken arm on one side, and holding Eren in the other. I had no idea what it meant. I was still trying to figure that out myself. I tried to doze off, but the twinges of pain kept me awake, so I watched Eren sleep for a while. He finally looked at ease for once, and eventually I allowed myself to doze off as well.

 

Blood. Blood on the trees. Blood on the snow. It was snowing? Oh that’s right it was cold now. Organs were everywhere, and again my comrades lay in front of me. This time their entrails had been ripped out. But something was off. I heard something strange and ran toward Gunter and he was screaming a loud piercing scream.  
So loud it woke me up. Eren! He was clawing at my shirt and screaming so loud I was surprised there weren’t titans looking in at our doorstep. No wonder the kid was afraid to sleep. I shook him awake. 

“Eren! Eren! Wake up!” He gasped as he awoke and tears began running down his face. This kid had some major issues and we were going to have to work on those. I know mine were associated with PTSD, and a mix of too much stress on my plate, but Eren’s were on a whole new level. That kid had night terrors. You could see it in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have slept. I-“ 

“We need to have a serious talk Eren.” I could feel his tears soaking through my cloak now, he was so exhausted that he couldn’t take it anymore.

“So so sorry.” He muttered. I sat up and backed up against the closest ‘wall of the root system’ and pulled Eren onto my lap. 

“Don’t think I fucking do this for anyone, cause I don’t brat. I never have. I don’t know what so damn special about you.” I said as I hugged him close to me. I heard the breath catch in his throat and I guided his head down to rest against my neck. “Now tell me everything. From start to finish.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a big development in this chapter ;) Also a pretty lengthy chapter. Go me. Hah!

Eren’s POV

Levi had pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his good arm around me. Everything was going so fast. Everything was hazy and I just could do anything but cling to him like the little baby I was. What had happened to make me trust him like this? I had always trusted him. Or else I wouldn’t shift with him there. I knew he could take me out in a second if he wanted me to, if I couldn’t control myself. That made fresh tears well up in my eyes.

“Hey…it’s okay calm down.” His hand moved back to my hair. “I wish I had both hands free, I feel like I can’t really do this properly…I’m really shitty at comforting words by the way…” He began to rub my scalp and I felt my body ease a little. What could I even say? Where do I begin? He wanted my whole story. I was going to be a mess by the end of it. 

“N-No you’re not.” I spoke into his neck. “Actions speak louder than words anyways.”, is the only thing I could find courage to say. He just remained silent and continued to stroke my head as my breathing slowed.

“I’ll tell you everything, b-but you have to promise that it will stay between us. The only ones that know are Armin and Mikasa. And THEY don’t even know about how I’ve been feeling lately.” I looked directly into his eyes with my tear filled ones. Levi gave a firm nod of approval. He moved his hand from my hair for a moment to wipe my tears away, then he leaned my head back into his neck.

“The day the titans came, I had a fight with my mom. I had told her I wanted to join the Survey Corps. And she was so upset. I left the house. And then the titans came.” I began to choke back tears. His hand was in my hair again and he leaned his head against mine. “The house fell on top of her and crushed her legs and I was too fucking helpless and weak to do anything!” I hissed as I gripped Levi’s shirt. 

“I understand Eren, just be easy…watch my arm…here.” He leaned forward so I could wrap my arms underneath his cloak and around his back and I gripped the back of his shirt instead. “There, that’s better. I’m sorry I interrupted go on.”

“I watched her get picked up and bitten in half as me and Mikasa were carried away, Levi.” I said as I squinted my eyes closed.

“Oh God, Eren. I’m so sorry.”

“And after that I vowed that I would kill every last one! I joined the cadets and well you how the rest happened.” I said with almost a chaotic chuckle. “B-but I still couldn’t save people. Everywhere I would turn, people were dying left and right and I couldn’t stop it. I’m still too weak Levi.” I said as I pawed at his shirt. “And then I have to worry about my titan-shifter ability too. I can’t be fucking normal like everyone else!” I screamed. “I constantly get weird looks, people fear me. They think I’m just going to go crazy and eat them. It’s not fair.” I breathed out finally as I finished my rant. Levi sat silent for a moment just running his fingers through my hair as he mulled over what I had just said.

“Eren, you know what they call you right? Humanity’s Last Hope?” I nodded as Levi asked me that and felt his fingers on my face. He turned my chin to make me look him in the eyes. “People fear that kind of power Eren. Even if they know it’s for good. It’s the same way they push me aside and fear me.” 

“Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.” I whispered.

“Exactly. They think I’m going to lose my cool at any moment and slaughter the whole fucking town. There’s a different kind of fear that we don’t understand Eren. It’s the fear of being permanently caged. And I think as long as there’s a survey corps and there’s a way beyond these walls, there’s still hope for us.” I felt a tear trickle down my cheek and Levi wiped it away. “And I still see that burning hope in you Eren. We just have to light that spark again.” He whispered as he looked deeply into my eyes as if searching for something. 

“W-will you help me?” I blurted out not thinking. He half smiled and cupped the side of my face. 

“What exactly are you asking me Eren?” My eyes went wide and my face went hot again. All of my emotions were rushing at once. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what to say.

“I –I-“ I couldn’t make a sentence with his hand on my face like that. All I knew is everything felt so right. Being there with him like that. But I also knew that I wanted training from him also. I just didn’t know how he would respond.

“Eren?” My lips were moving but they weren’t saying anything. Levi’s face got closer to mine. “Eren…do you want a relationship with me?” he all but breathed against my lips. My face was going to melt off. I was sure of it. I gripped his shirt again and looked into his eyes.

“Yes.” I finally managed to get a word out. And with that little word, he brought our lips together. His lips were so soft, and there was his hand again, right back in my hair. I felt his tongue trace along my lower lip, begging for entrance and he lowered the kiss. My heart was fluttering. He tasted perfect, every flick of his tongue against mine sent shivers down my spine. I did my best to kiss back, and I hoped down in the pit of my sinking stomach that I was satisfying Levi as well. Our tongues moved together, and after a few seconds (but what seemed like minutes) of him “teaching” me how to kiss, we pulled apart and he leaned our foreheads together. Levi grabbed my hand and gave it a slight   
squeeze.

“I’ve never kissed anyone like that Eren…” he whispered. I barely heard him, and I wouldn’t have if we hadn’t have been so close together. 

“Liar.” I said as I looked directly into his eyes. He squeezed my hand again and my stomach sank, something was different in his eyes, they weren’t they grey flat orbs that they were when we left.

“I’m serious Eren. It wasn’t my first kiss, but I’ve never felt such a….connection with someone before. In a way I want this one to be my first.” He said with a frown. “All the others were just emotionless now that I think about them.” Yeah, my face was just going to liquefy right here in front of him. 

“W-Well it was our first kiss so it was special s-so….” He smirked and planted a simple kiss on my lips, which still made my stomach drop. 

“Of course it was special.” He said with a half-smile. “That was the best kiss of my life Eren.” So much for a not-so-sappy Levi. A bitterly cold breeze blew into our makeshift refuge, bringing a couple of stray snowflakes with it. The sun was just barely beginning to rise now above the horizon. I don’t know if the cold breeze brought us both to our senses or put Levi back in survival mode, but he immediately got the look of worry across his face.

“The sun will be up soon. We need to check out our surroundings now while its dawn, and the titan activity is low. We’ll be fucked otherwise without 3-D gear.” I helped him to his feet and we got the bearings of the little area around our camp. We lucked out. A river ran a few hundred yards away so we had a relatively close supply of water. As the sun came up, the snowflakes being to get larger and larger as they fell. Levi looked up at the sky. 

“Look at those clouds. He pointed up. There’s going to be a snow storm. We need to get some supplies and hunker down. Ill fill up the canteens and try to help carry some firewood if you cut.” Luckily somehow they had managed to retain a small axe with all their supplies, a true godsend. Along with two blades left out of the maneuver gear. At least they had a few weapons out here in the wild. 

“Just don’t hurt your arm again.” I scolded as I headed off to chop as much firewood as I could quickly. 

 

Levi’s POV 

I helped gather as much wood as I could as Eren chopped. Huge flakes began to fall and clump around us. After we tripled our supply I called Eren back to our shelter. We were both chilled again, and I had to stoke the fire. My arm was aching badly now, the bone was beginning its course to re-growing and it hurt like a bitch. I thumped my fist against the wall.

“Shit…it hurts.” I said as I leaned my head back and squeezed my eyes shut. “And better yet, we are probably going to be stuck in here until this storm decides to stop. All we have to eat are what’s left of my military rations.” I gritted my teeth trough another wave of pain. 

“I-I know something that may help a little. B-But I-I”

“Spit it out. “ I snarled. I regretted it. I didn’t mean to be so hateful to Eren but this damn pain was getting to me, and so was my hunger. 

“I-I’m sorry. I’d have to touch you!” He said as he looked into my eyes. “It’s acupressure. My dad taught me some pressure points to relieve pain.” My face softened I reach for his hand and gave it a light squeeze.

“Look Eren, I’m sorry. It’s just this damn pain has me on edge. Not to mention we have to have a fire going just to keep us from catching hypothermia in the middle of the day in titan territory. I’d be grateful if you would do that for me. We should probably try to eat a bite first though. Hand me the pack.” His panic faded a bit and he reach me the backpack. I divided up what food was left. There was enough for 3 days if we ate two tiny meals a day. We slowly ate our crummy salted meat and dry bread and washed it down with river water. Just having something on my stomach to keep the hunger pains away made me feel a little less on edge. Eren looked a little better as well. After we ate we both sat up against the wall of the tree. I looked over Eren’s face carefully. He was so tired, yet he was still focused on me. Hopefully we would both be able to get some rest soon. 

“Can we get under the blanket while you do this?” I asked as I scooted a little closer to him. I had no idea what acupressure was. All I cared about was that he said he could lessen my pain a little. 

“Sure, I’ll need you to take off the cloak and jacket though.” He said with a frown. “I need access to your neck.” I nodded and unbuttoned my winter cloak, which we opted to drape across us, instead of just setting it to the side. He carefully helped me remove my sling, and after gently releasing the injured arm from my jacket, we replaced it back in the sling. 

“That jacket is a pain, but it’s keeping me warm.” I said as I cringed at the thought of having to put it back on. Eren got the blanket out of the pack and pulled it over top of my cloak, and he got close to me again. I looked up to see pink washing over his cheeks once more, can’t say I’d ever get tired of that.

“Then it’s important. We need to keep you warm.” He said as he gave me a half smile. He was rubbing his hands together, trying to warm them up.

 

Eren’s POV

I gathered up all the strength I had to overcome my fear of getting close to Levi. He needed me, and that’s what mattered. My mind had been constantly flashing back to all the times he had protected me, and it was my turn to start returning those favors bit by bit. Just move. Don’t think. This time it was me who had led Levi onto my lap, carefully not disturbing his arm. I pulled the blankets around us both, and my hands went to work. My hand went to the pressure point between his neck and shoulder, and I began to apply steady pressure. I used my other hand to give support to my other fingertips, keeping it steadily in place. After about 30 seconds of pressure, I felt Levi give against me.

“You okay?” I asked as I tried to get a look at his face. It was hard from my current position. 

“Y-yes. Please don’t stop Eren. I felt it ease. I can’t believe it.” He murmured. I didn’t let off the point until the two minutes was up and it was time to switch. Levi turned to look at me with pitiful eyes as I did. 

“Just switching, relax.” I whispered as I adjusted the covers. I was having trouble finding the pressure point in question through his shirt. He began to fidget as I struggled to find it. “Sorry, Levi. I’m having trouble.” I said with a disappointed tone. He turned his head towards me again and we locked eyes. His eyes were questioning, almost begging me silently for relief. He must’ve been hurting pretty bad. I wasn’t going to give up. “Could…you…is it okay if I take off your shirt? The point is a-actually within a dimple in the shoulder blade and I can’t find it through-“Levi blinked slowly at me and set up, ready for me to undo the buttons on his shirt. The temperature had dropped significantly and our breath was swirling around us. Levi was still staring into my eyes, relying on me to ease his pain, and yet that uncommon tinge of pink I had seen before had shown itself again ever so slightly across his nose and cheeks. I began to feel the pressure as my fingers touched the first button of his shirt. My fingers were fumbling, they were shaking. 

“Eren…calm down. Stop rushing.” He said as I felt his fingers in my hair. He leaned our foreheads together and I swallowed hard. I felt familiar red creeping up my neck and onto my face still, but I didn’t care. I needed to make Levi feel better. I slowly pulled away from him and put my focus back on the buttons. I slowly but surely undid them one by one, and unveiled Levi’s bare skin underneath. I didn’t let my eyes linger to long, but I caught a couple of scars out of the corner of my eye as I pulled the shirt off of him carefully. I revealed lightly worn skin from the upper part of the maneuver gear, and I thought about how worn the lower part of his body must be, he practically lived in the air. I finally found my prize as I slid back into place behind him. He leaned back towards me and I pulled the covers up once again before I braced my fingers just as before right in the dimple behind his shoulder and applied pressure. He almost instantly relaxed this time. I heard him sigh and his eyes fluttered closed. Sweet relief. And I was providing that to him. Somehow, as if without thinking, my hand continued on it’s own to provide the pressure he needed, but the other traveled to his hair without any form of hesitation. What was happening to me? This form of trust developing between us was just…unheard of. I just wanted to be closer to Levi, to touch him, to comfort him in any way I could like he had comforted me. He leaned his face up into my neck, and I could feel his hand searching. It finally latched onto a piece of my shirt that he could find.

“Levi?” He was breathing heavy now, his hand pawing at the piece of shirt he caught between his fingers. “What’s wrong? Is it not helping anymore?” I asked with concern. 

“No, Eren, it’s fine. It’s helping a lot.” He breathed. I gently guided him back onto my lap and found the last two pressure points I could use. They were in between his shoulder and neck on both sides, on his back. I put both hands to work at once. After the two minutes were up, I gently kneaded the stiff muscles underneath each of my hands just because. “E-Eren.” Levi groaned. I continued my rubbing for a few minutes until I was satisfied that Levi had relaxed and enjoyed it a little. We just sat there in comfortable silence for a while until he carefully turned around on my lap. 

He was staring at me again, looking as serious as ever (minus the pink cheeks) and I frowned. Had he not enjoyed it? I timidly reach my hand up to his face to touch it and his expression changed. “Eren, just. Please” He squeezed his eyes shut and gripped my cloak and pulled me closer. Had I done something wrong? Right? I wasn’t quite sure. He wanted me closer, that’s all I knew. 

“Yes, Levi.” I was acting on instinct now. I carefully leaned us down onto the ground, after removing my own cloak and adding it to the small stack of covers we had. I pulled the smaller man close to me and let him rest against me. I timidly wrapped one arm around the top of his back and the other went back to his hair. 

“Closer.” He begged, pulling on my shirt. 

“I’m scared I’m going to hurt your arm, don’t make me do that.” I whispered to him. He pulled back a little and looked up into my eyes.

“Someone like me doesn’t deserve you. You care about my well-being, and take care of me. And I’m just-“ I pulled his chin up and captured his lips. It wasn’t anything like the kiss he’d initiated last night, but it was sweet and caring, and I poured my heart into it. 

“We all have our dark days, Levi, we just need someone to pulls us back out when we can’t see the silver lining.” Something from deep inside him welled up as we stared at each other.

And as we sat there under the tree roots illuminated partly by the sunbeams penetrating the walls and partly by the fire that provided us not only a source of light, but a source of heat, my Captain broke down. Tears began to fall down his cheeks, and we clung to each other, as if our lived depended on it. I let him place him broken arm up against me, to my dismay, but I was pretty confident in my bandaging that it would keep the bone in place, even with some slight movement. His other arm was around me and I was just trying to find some part of him to hold onto or caress. My first hand found his hair, its new favorite spot and the other wrapped around his waist and pulled him even closer to me. Making him grip my shirt. The tears fell faster for a few moments, and it was obvious we both had a lot on our minds. But I dare didn’t ask him, I knew he probably wouldn’t tell me anyways, so I just laid there with him silently, thinking about our grim situation. Would we ever get out of this forest?


	5. Side Chapter: While You Are Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin learns of the news. And so does Mikasa. Not good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an after thought, something I decided to slip in to make the story more interesting. so sorry if it isn't a whole chapter about Erwin (BORE) haha =3

Erwin’s POV

I paced my office after I got the news that Levi’s team had pretty much been either destroyed in battle or was MIA, Levi and Eren included.

Damn it Levi! What had happened out there? This wasn’t like you. The circumstances had to have been out of your control. Either way I was going to chew him out and force whim to train for a while with the team on communication if- no when they made it back. 

And the icing on the cake? Jaeger’s crazy possessive sister and their friend Alert was on their way to my office now. I wonder if she was going to try to kill me. How would I break the news softly? Yeah, you remember your brother and how I put him on the team with the short hot headed commander? Yeah they are lost and may never come back. Chances of survival? Oh yeah great. It being winter and all. I heard a knock at my door and my stomach sank. They were here. 

“I brought the kids sir!” Hanji said with an odd type of salute. “Your orders?” I gave a heavy sigh. 

“You might as well stay too Hanji, seeing as this effects you just as much.” Hanji stood at attention beside of Mikasa and Armin. Mikasa’s eyes were cold, searching me for reasons.

“I ugh, well I received a report today from a messenger from the outer walls. It seems like some of the team has made it back.” Mikasa raised her eyebrow. “Some? Where’s Eren?” 

Armin covered his mouth. 

“Well…ugh it seems that the team somehow got split up, they weren’t really sure how they lost communication with each other, but it happened. Some team members got killed. 

But there are no accounts of anyone seeing Eren Jaeger or Captain Levi die.” Hanji gasped. 

“They are missing!?” 

“Yes. Unfortunately they are missing.” We have sent teams to look for them, but they can’t seem to track them down.” Mikasa jumped across the office towards me and grabbed ahold of my jacket, pulling me across the desk. 

“Mikasa!!!” Armin shouted. Hanji had her sword drawn at the scout, the moment something went sour, her head was coming off. 

“This is all your fault!” She screamed.

“My fault!? Please tell me how? Levi and Eren came in here together demanding they be together more so they could train. So DON’T pin this on me.” I shoved her away as I looked at her flabbergasted expression. “Levi, practically pulled Eren in here by his cloak because he wanted to talk to me so badly about it.”

“Come on Armin!” They left without another word and I just turned to stare out the window as the snow began to fall in heavy sheets.

“Commander, do you think they will be alright?”

“Levi can hold his own. They will be fine. It may take them a while, but they will come back.”


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren has a nice dream for once ;) hehe Too bad they are still trapped outside the walls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHGHHHH Please be gentle. I haven't written a sex(ish) scene in a while. The boys have some fun at the end ;) look forward to it!

Eren’s POV

Eventually Levi’s tears had stopped, but he still clung to me, nearly exhausted. 

“I don’t rely on people Eren. It’s hard for me to hand over anything and let it fall out of my control unless I know I can completely trust the person.” He whispered into my neck. 

“I’m used to making the important decisions, so when something falls out of my hands…everything falls apart.” He was still gripping my shirt. “Eren, please be my light if things get to dark. And I’ll be yours. We have each other now, right?” 

“Nothing sounds better to me. Yes, we do. I’m yours.” I said with a smile. If I wasn’t mistaken a smile crept across his lips for an odd second as well before disappearing. “Levi, you can rest for a few hours if you want. I’ll keep watch.” His tired eyes nearly shut on their own.

“Thank you Eren. Just for a little while.” He said quietly as he dozed off. I watched over Levi for quite a few hours as he slept, even being lucky enough that he would nuzzle my neck in his sleep. He truly did trust me. My fatigue was starting to overcome me, but I would stay awake until night at least. 

 

Levi’s POV

I was flying through the trees this time, rushing to get to them. It was so cold. Snow was falling in pockets around me as I maneuvered from tree to tree. There was blood from my survey corps comrades all over the trees and the ground. I was chasing the titan that had done this to them. I heard the familiar “ROOOOOOAARR” of an aberrant coming towards us. 

“Shit! Levi!” Eren practically slapped me awake. My eyes went wide. “Titan coming! What do we do?” I peaked outside to see the 14 meter wandering around the area. It was only a matter of time of time before it found us. We were fucked. We had no gear, only two swords. We were stuck on the ground. In a matter of seconds I was in battle mode. I had my shirt and cloak on (with a little help from Eren) , backpack packed, and I was ready to move, all with one arm. 

“Alright Eren, listen closely.” I said as I help my sword closely to my side. “You need to transform and pick me up. Kill that titan! Then try to find us a new shelter.” His eyes went wide. 

“B-But it’s been so long!” 

“You can do it Eren! I have faith in you!” 

“Yes Captain!” He yelled as he bit into his hand, blood dripping into the white snow around us. And with a loud pop and crash, Eren had transformed. He screamed and almost ran off without me before stopping to pick me up. Talk about starting over from square one. He chased after the titan and after letting out a huge roar he severed its head and crushed its neck. I held onto his hair as he ran, trying to find a possible shelter. 

“Follow the river Eren!” I yelled into his ear. He let out another loud roar and followed my command. And there miles out from any form of life besides the titans and the animals we would soon have to start hunting for food, we found our next refuge. “Look up, on that mountain.” I pointed to the remnants of an old building from a civilization that had known the titans before the walls had been finished. “Can you make it there?” He let out another roar, which to my dismay was answered with another roar. He turned to see three more titans following us. They were all a bit smaller than him, but he was extremely fatigued already in his human form. Another Roar and he sent a head flying through the forest, and he began stomping on the carcass that was left, finishing it off. The next one, he but the neck right out, but he still wanted to crush it. He was losing control.

“Eren! FOCUS! Kill them quickly and get us to that house!” The last one he crushed with his bare hands and stomped to make sure it wouldn’t regenerate. Then he began to walk in the direction of the house. We got about ¾ of the way there before he just stopped in the middle of the forest. 

“Find them!”

“Eren No! TO THE CABIN!” He let out another roar and began to turn around.” I climbed up the back of his neck and began swiftly cutting and pulling Eren out of his cocoon of titan flesh, muscle and bone. As I pulled him out, we gently fell to the ground in the carcass of his titan and I pulled him to the side. 

“Eren, Eren! Wake up!” His eyes fluttered open for a brief moment before shutting again, “Shit!” I couldn’t leave him here and we damn well couldn’t stay out in the open. I dug through my pack for rope and tied his wrists together. I slipped his bound wrists over my neck and held onto his hands with my one good arm. “Damn it Eren!” I cursed as I hiked up the mountain. I had never gone this far for anyone before. Not a comrade, not even family. 

After a good mile hike up a mountain with an unconscious Eren on my back, we finally reached what turned out to be a cabin on the edge of the river coming off of the mountain. I opened the door with my sword drawn, but the only thing to come running at me was any angry chipmunk. After inspecting the house, I found there was only one section of the roof that was damaged. It was really of no use to us anyway, back in the corner of a spare bedroom. I had laid Eren down on my cloak in the living room floor. I was still on edge, and I’m sure I would still be until tonight. At least titans had no use for firewood, which there was still a dusty nasty supply of next to the fireplace. I struck up a fire, and after getting it going I sat down next to Eren. 

 

Eren’s POV

So warm. But so so hot. And Sticky? Red? Blood. Blood everywhere. From my comrades. From my family from me. A titan was standing over top of me and all I could see was perfectly black hair about to get bit into pieces. And more blood. Levi. No. Get out of there. You are stronger than that! Levi! No! Get out! Levi! Levi!

“Eren! Eren!” I yelled as I wiped his face with one of my cravats that I had wet. He had been having a bad nightmare for some time now, but I just couldn’t get him to come back to me. He was in the middle of a dreamlike state and unconscious. 

“AGGGGHHHHHH!!!” Eren screamed as his eyes opened and he saw me over him. “Levi!” Tears began to pour and he immediately shot up and wrapped his arms around me. “Levi, God. Levi.” I eased him back into the laying position. 

“Eren you’ve been out for a while, you need to do things slowly.”

“What happened, Levi? Everything’s blurry? I just can’t remember.” 

“You brought us most of the way here, engaged in battle with multiple titans, and lost it right at the end for some reason.” I said with a frown. I ran my fingers through Eren’s hair and he sighed. 

“Where are we?”

“The cabin on the edge of the mountain. You don’t remember it?” He shook his head and reach for my hand. 

“No, I’m sorry. Wait… if I couldn’t get us here in my titan form, and I fell unconscious after, how did we get here?” I scooted closer to him and let him rest his head on my lap as my fingers found their favorite place back to his head. 

“Stop worrying so much. I bound your hands together and slipped them around me and carried you. We made it in one piece just fine.” 

“You carried me here? With a broken arm too? I can’t even complete a single mission out here to help you.” He said as he barely mustered up the strength to grip at the cloak under him. 

“I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you Eren. You have already saved my life multiple times while we’ve been out here. Without maneuver gear, I’m helpless.” I said as I continued to caress his messy brown locks. 

“L-Levi. “he said as he struggled to keep his eyes awake. 

“Yes, Eren.”

“Is it alright if I rest for a while, I’m sorry.” He whispered. I knew transforming took an incredible toll on his body, but it was a risk we had to take at the moment. I leaned over and placed a kiss to his lips.

“Go ahead, take all the time you need.” I said as kept running my fingers through those tangled brown locks. We were both desperately in need of a shower, but luckily I had spotted a bathtub in one of the rooms of this house. If it still held water and if I could get it clean enough, we should both be able to use it. 

I just sit there for a while and watched over Eren as he rest, making sure that he wasn’t trapped in a nightmare he couldn’t escape. Eventually his brow furrowed and he began to mumble my name, but I didn’t wake him yet. 

“Levi…Levi where…”

 

Eren’s POV

I followed my captain through a long hallway. He was only wearing his white shirt and a black pair of pants, no gear, and no jacket. Nothing. And we were warm. So warm. He opened the door to the room at the end of the hallway and led me inside. The hallways looked familiar, although I had never been on this floor before. This floor was reserved for the elite and the commanders, not the monsters like myself. But Levi didn’t think I was a monster. He truly trusted me. 

“Will you follow me Eren? Will you have faith in my every command and trust my every move like I trust you? In every aspect of our newly reborn lives? Not just in the Survey Corps and not just in our relationship, but in both. We are a team.” 

“Yes, I’ll follow you. I’ll have faith in you. Of course I trust you. My life is in your hands completely Levi!” A smile glimmered as he leaned against the wall of the red room. He pulled me to him and with one arm wrapped around my waist, he grabbed the door with the other as an afterthought. His lips were on my skin and I felt so hot. So warm in our refuge. His bedroom within the walls. He bit down on my collar bone slightly, “Leviiii.”

 

Levi’s POV  
Eren was beginning to squirm in his sleep. He was saying my name again like he was previously and I took it upon myself to go ahead and wake him before his nightmare got out of control.

“Eren, Eren. Wake up.” I shook him gently. His eyes shot open and connected with mine and his face went instantly red. “No screaming this time? You look hot.” I put my hand to his forehead and it was a little warm. “You weren’t having a nightmare? You kept saying my name like before and- Oh,” I smirked. His eyes went wide and he tried to roll away from me. I pinned him down, with just one arm. The other was tied closely to me in my sling. 

“Why are you in such a rush to get away Jaeger? You are so keen on having hot dreams about me after all eh?” He squeezed his eyes shut and put his hands over his face. I rolled over on top of his legs and pulled his hands off of his face. “Don’t be so embarrassed. I’m glad you had a good dream for once.” I said as I shot him a true smile as I looked into his eyes. And there it was. The green, vivid and glowing. His spark was back, his fire was burning. “Eren?” He was also smiling, and he pulled me down close to him. 

“Levi, please find more reasons to smile.” He whispered in my ear before kissing just below it, making me shiver. Damn brat. I was in charge here. He was the one pinned down! I gently put both of his hands together and held them in place. We were definitely going to need that tub after this. Good thing I put on that pot of water to boil I found earlier. I began kissing up Eren’s neck and jaw line and he let out the most beautiful whimper I’d ever heard. I could feel his heart beating in his chest as I was pressed up against him, hell mine was probably pounding as well. He was nervous. This was all so new to him. I had to catch myself for a second and rethink things. Thinking things over when it came to situations like this was not my forte. Heated battle, sure piece of cake. Any kind of sexual act, no. My switch gets turned on and won’t go back off until someone pulls the damn cord. But Eren had never done anything. Hell, I wasn’t even sure if he’d even touched himself. If my face hadn’t been pink already just the thought of that alone would have made me turn a brilliant shade of maroon. 

I thought back to my ‘first times’ and shuttered at the thoughts. Meaningless acts with meaningless people. I wanted every first I experienced with Eren to be special. I want him to have experiences that I didn’t get to have and to make memories that I didn’t. I would make this the best experience I could, even if I did have a broken arm. I moved my kisses from his jawline to his lips now and we started our slow sensual battle. Our breathing began to get heavy and we had to keep pulling apart for air, slow down. Slow take it slow. For Eren. He had his arms wrapped around my waist as we kissed and as we parted lips I put my own lips up against his ear. 

“Say Eren, I have a serious question for you. Do you touch yourself?” His breath caught in his throat and he squeezed my back. 

“N-No.” I looked at his face, looking for the truth lying with his features. He was a mess. His hair was even messier than usual and his face was a deep shade of crimson.

“Why?” I asked curiously. Prying for a truthful answer. His eyes met mine and he pawed at my shirt.

“I…I just never knew how. I always took care of it with cold showers.” He breathed as he looked directly into my eyes. My god, this kid had never even- oh wow. Well his world was going to be changing today. I simply nodded at his reply.

“Do you trust me Eren?” I asked seriously as I hovered over him.

“Of course, Levi.” Somehow my face felt funny, and so did my chest. I was smiling again. I touched our foreheads together and gave him another kiss. Happiness. Could it be on my doorstep? I’d never been so close to such a foreign concept but I wanted it so badly. After removing his cloak, and jacket, I loosened the strings on Eren’s shirt. He was staring at me with those curious bright green eyes and I slid the shirt over his head. He very gently did the same to me, carefully watching over my broken arm and fastening the sling back in place after my shirt was off. 

“Thanks.” I muttered against his neck as I got even closer to him. We were kissing again and the world didn’t matter. The dirty old room we were in melted away, all of our scars faded out of view, all of our problems and our current situation. It was just us. Two kindred spirits, who had found each other somehow, clinging to each other, until the other one was almost about to break. But we were strong. We wouldn’t break. We would rely on each other to keep going. I leaned Eren back and unbutton his pants, reaching my hand inside to brush over his erection.

“AGH L-LEVI!” Eren bucked up against my hand and I smirked. I pulled the rest of his clothes off and he began to reach for the button to my pants. 

“Don’t worry just yet. I want to take care of you first. Just do whatever feels natural, okay.” I whispered. He simply nodded and I began to go to work. I took his cock into my hand and gripped it hard, using my thumb to coat it in his own pre-cum. 

“Levi-OH!” He moaned my name and it was pure music I leaned down to capture his lips and I began to move my hand along with the synchronization of our kiss. Eren was moaning and grunting into the kiss. With each stroke I would plunge my tongue into his mouth and caress his tongue. He broke away, gasping for air.

“Levi! Please let me touch you too!” He begged as he starred at my erection literally trying to escape through my pants. This was our first experience together. And his first ever sexual experience. I wanted it to go the way he wanted. I looked into his lust filled eyes and kissed his lips.

“Okay Eren, just be easy. Watch my arm.” He unbuttoned my pants and slid them off of me, freeing my swollen erection. Eren was a little bigger than me, but not by much. He timidly reach for my cock.

“Will you s-show me?” I nodded and removed my hand from his erection for a brief moment to place my hand over top of his own hand. I guided it to my own erection and showed him how I had used his pre-cum in the same way earlier. 

“G-Grip tight. AGHHHhh!!” I cried out as our hands wrapped around my cock and my eyes shut and my head tilted back. “N-Now G-Go up and down like This Ahhhhh EREN!” I squeezed his hand and squeezed my eyes shut. I hadn’t felt someone else’s hands on me in so long. And I had never really felt someone’s hands on me that really cared about me. I didn’t want to let go of his hand, but I returned my hand to his own leaking cock and began to stroke again. 

“Shit! Levi!” he groaned as he brought us together with another kiss. I did it again, pacing my strokes with the tempo of the kiss and Eren followed along, and before we knew it, we were both nearing our climaxes. 

“Wh-What Levi! This pressure!” He moaned as he reach for me, his hand fell away from my erection as he began to get close, not realizing how strong the feeling was going to be.   
“Whenever you are ready Eren, just relax into my touch. You’ll finally release that pressure.” I breathed against him as I stroked him a few more times. 

“Oh GOD, LEVI!” Eren screamed my name as he released between us, coming all over both of us. His body went limp and I moved to lay at his side, pushing the thought of my still nagging erection away. His hand reach out towards me gently and returned to my erection. Even in his blissful post-orgasm state, he hadn’t forgotten my need. He was a sticky, sweaty mess, and he was curled up to my side, but his hand was on a mission. I was nearing my end as well.

“Eren!” Everything just felt so damn good. His body up against mine, his hands all over me, and I mean ALL over me, making me feel this way, just by my simple instructions. With a few last strokes I cried out and spilled all over us both as well. We were a mess. But we were alive. That’s what mattered. I pulled him closed to me. 

“Thank you, Eren.” I said into his hair as I pulled him closer still. “Thank you for trusting me.”


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi finally opens up to Eren about his past. Transforming starts to take it's toll on Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE ARE NO REGRETS SPOILERS!!!!!  
> Also I really know nothing about first aid =3 don’t follow my tips or you will die and get eaten by titans.
> 
> You can read No Regrets here:  
> http://www.horizonscans.com/acwnr
> 
> So feel free to listen to this while you read, because I totally did while I wrote it! =]  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VD-FYHdgI_8

Eren’s POV

After our little round of experimentation (More of experimentation on my part, not Levi’s), we laid around for nearly 30 minutes. I was certain my body had turned to jelly at some point and the other side of me just wanted to lay there basking with Levi forever. But he had mentioned something about our bath water boiling.   
Levi helped me to my feet and led me to the room with the bathtub. It was definitely big enough for both of us, but would he get in with me? He had already filled the tub up with cold water, and it was time to add the hot water to it. Levi had of course laid out the soap. 

He stood by the tub for a moment, eyeing the water and then looking at his arm. 

“Get in with me and I won’t let it get wet or bumped. I promise.” I said as I snaked my arm around his bare waist. He simply nodded and I removed the sling from his neck.

“You are becoming braver and braver every second, brat.” He said as he leaned against me. We carefully climbed into the tub together, and I gently held his arm as we did so and I made sure to hold it up above the water level. We carefully and meticulously washed each other, simply relishing in the fact that we were finally clean after being filthy after so many days. If I hadn’t been completely exhausted, I’m sure my lower half would have been set on fire just by looking at Levi’s wet hair clinging to his face, let alone the rest of his body sitting in the tub pressed up against me. He pressed a simple kiss to my lips, and I smiled. I pressed our foreheads together, letting our damp hair mingle and fall into each other’s. The water was beginning to cool at this point, and Levi insisted that we get out before we get a chill. 

After we dried off and got dressed, we curled up together by the fire. Levi had his head on my shoulder and he was staring into the fire, probably watching the same flame lick at the huge log we had set in the fireplace previous to our bath. 

“Say Eren…Do you think you can get us back to the walls?” He murmured as he put his hand on my thigh.

“I can absolutely try!” I said optimistically. He kept the same unmoving expression on his face as usual but gave my thigh a strong squeeze. 

“Here’s my concern Eren. If we stay out here too much longer, winter will hit hard, and most of the game in this neck of the woods will be off somewhere warmer for the winter. So that leaves us with a food problem. So the sooner we head out the better really.” He said with a frown. We still have 3 meals worth of rations if we stretch them, thanks to you being out for so long.

“So what are you trying to say, Levi? Three meals?” He finally broke his gaze away from the fire and looked directly into my eyes. He took my hand gently in his and gave it a squeeze. 

“Eren, I’m leaving this call in your hands. Either we make one last ditch effort for the walls tomorrow. Or we wait it out here and try to train you with your titan form and risk starving to death but have a higher probability of making it to the walls in one piece.”

“Why am I deciding that!?! I can’t make decisions with your life!” 

“You already have multiple times during this mission Eren, and you’ve chosen right. This comes down to your strength and what YOU think you can do. I won’t force you and I’ll stand by any decision you choose.” I shuttered as I thought back to Levi’s word’s during past recon missions. 

 

The only thing we are allowed to do is to believe that we won't regret the choice we made. 

He regretted that day. With every ounce of his body, heart and soul he regretted that day. The day Team Levi’s lives were lost, and it felt like that heavy weight had been on his shoulders every day since then. He had tears in his eyes and Levi watched him in the orange light as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

“Eren?”

“I can’t make fucking decisions Levi. I choose wrong. People end up dead.” Eren pulled away from Levi and walked out of the cabin into the brisk winter air, slamming the door behind him. He slid down the wall outside by the door and put his knees up to his chest, allowing his sobs to wreck through his body. The moisture felt cold against his face, but it made him feel alive. Unlike the countless soldiers that lost their lives that day cause of him. And Levi knew that. How could he expect him to make a decision like that?

 

Levi’s POV

I had to trust Eren with this one. It was his ability we were relying on and his strength. We had already entrusted our lives to each other, so what was the big deal? I walked over to the direction of the door and leaned against the wall. The window beside him was cracked, and little did he know, was letting in every single sound he made. Every sob, every punch against the damn cabin, every mumble to himself.

“Petra I’m so sorry.” He sobbed. My heart caught in my throat at the name of our late comrade. “I trusted you guys and you did every damn thing you could to protect me.” Fresh sobs wracked his body, “If only I had made the right call and protected you instead! I couldn’t even protect my own mother!” 

I gently closed my eyes, and quietly turned the knob, dropping to my knees in front of him. “I had no idea, Eren.” I said as I wrapped my good arm around him. He cried out again and clawed at my shirt. He was breathing heavy and I raised my eyebrow. Shit. 

“L-L-L” 

“Calm down. Everything is fine. We are going to be fine. We are going to make it to the walls.”

“So scared.” He said as he clawed at his chest. The poor kid was having a panic attack on top of everything else now. I pressed and ever so light kiss to his lips and pulled him to his feet, and he nearly buckled from the weight of his own body.

“Come inside, its freezing.” I said as I let him lean against me. We sat back down in front of the fire and I continued to listen to his uneven breath and watch the tears roll down his cheeks, wiping them away periodically. I wrapped my fingers in his hair and leaned our foreheads together, “We can decide together, ay?” He simply nodded and took ahold of my hand. 

I sighed and leaned back a little to watch him. “Listen Eren. I don’t tell stories about my past much, so listen up. Just sit there. Listen. Breathe. And calm down.” He nodded and watched me intently. 

“I don’t know if you know it or not…and obviously I’m not proud of it, but I grew up in the underground. I pretty much did everything I could to survive. Erwin pretty much offered me and two of my close friends a place above ground if we made a deal to fight in the Survey Corps with him. Well we took the deal, ended up in the Corps, and on a particularly gruesome rainy day of battle, I left my team, my fucking inexperienced team that yes had a vet on it, but also had my two best friends who didn’t hardly know a damn thing about fighting titans. I swore to protect them. I left them during the middle of the battle. Do you know why Eren?” His eyes got big and his breathing had finally slowed. I sighed and took his hand in mine.

“I left them during the middle of fucking war on the titans, so I could go murder Erwin. I was going to go murder him and take the documents he had been hiding that someone had offered us loads of money for and a permanent place above ground in the city. My own greed cause me to abandon my own best friends in battle, Eren. And do you know what happened next?” My eyes felt strained and tired now. He shook his head as if trying to tell me he almost didn’t want to know. 

“I turned around at the last minute and realized, oh shit! They are really screwed without me there! And I made it back just in time to see my friends get torn to pieces by the titans. So I kinda get the whole carrying a little guilt thing around, not to mention all the soldier’s lives that I have lost while I have been in command. But trust me Eren, guilt from making the wrong decision for the right reasons and guilt from making the wrong decision for wrong reasons are two different boats. Don’t ever fall into that area. Your heart is pure, and the guilt you are dealing with is justifiable. I just want you to see that you could be dealing with guilt from a whole different shitty angle.” I said as I squeezed his hand again. His face was frozen in place for a second, and the next thing I knew his arms were around me and he was whispering apologies into my neck, sobbing against me.

“No wonder we have night terrors.” I said into his ear as I rubbed his back, “Look at all the shit we have to deal with, and most of it I don’t even think we have come to terms with. We haven’t even had time to cope. We are constantly having to push forward for ‘the sake of the team’.” I grimaced at those words. It’d been quite a while since any of those bastards had bothered to save my neck. It had probably been Hanji or Erwin last, besides Eren of course. I frowned and pulled Eren closer to me. I felt his hand grip my shirt tighter and he cried out. My hand found his hair again, and I knew it was as much of a comfort for me as it was for me. “Let’s make a plan for when we return to the walls, yeah?” I said as I coiled his hair around my finger. He pulled back from my neck and wiped his eyes on his sleeve and looked into mine with his red, tear clouded ones.

“What do you mean?” he said almost doubtingly. 

“Well obviously this isn’t just ending here…is it?” I asked with a raised eye brow. “Cause that would be really shitty.” He gripped onto my shirt harder and fresh tears welled up.

“Levi!” And then his head was against my chest. I was trying to figure out what was going on in his head. “Of course I don’t want this to end. Aren’t people going to talk though?” 

“Since when do I give a fuck about what others think about me? I’m the best damn soldier they have. My personal life is none of their damn business.” If I had to guess, not only did Titan-Shifting physically do something to Eren, but I think it pulled on his emotions as well. Like it threw them all into a pile and said here you go, start at the top of the damn pile and start sorting your way through. It was exhausting him, and all he could do was cling to me at this point. 

“I want to be with you when we get back Levi…p-please.” He sobbed. I placed a gentle kiss to his forehead and wrapped the familiar blanket around us both. 

“I want that as well Eren.” He leaned into my warmth and I winced as he brushed up against my arm. The arm that I had nearly forgot about amongst the commotion of all this. 

“Here’s the plan once we get back at least. I’ll be buried in paperwork for a few days at least. Maybe a week. I’ll be able to see you at meals maybe, and I’ll try to drop by at night before lights out. 

“A week? B-but.” I frowned at him. 

“Just bear with it okay? I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” I kissed his lips sweetly. He tasted salty. “After I figure out how much paperwork I’ll be buried in how about we request a little bit of time off together? For some private training?” I said with a smirk. There it was, the red began creeping up his neck and up to his cheeks. “Titan-Shifter training you perv.” I said with a smile. He ran his fingers along my cheek and brought our lips together, as if wanting to steal the smile off of my lips. His mouth was slightly dry as if crying so hard had dehydrated him. I offered him the moisture from my own mouth, twisting our tongues together, taking over dominance of the kiss. He moaned into the kiss and pulled on my shirt, as if trying to tell me he wanted more. Believe me I did too, he had NO idea, but we had a long day tomorrow. And if we had any chance of making it back to the walls any time soon, we needed to get moving. I reluctantly pulled away from his sweet taste and looked into his questioning eyes. 

“I’m making the call Eren.” He went to open his mouth and I cut him off. “We are going back to the walls tomorrow Eren. I believe in you. You can do it!” He nodded his head. “And in that case we both unfortunately need rest.” I said with a frown. He simply nodded and I rustled his hair. “Cheer up, we’ll have plenty of time for that once we get back. And trust me, I have plenty of things that I plan on doing to you Jaeger.” I said with a smirk and a chuckle. His mouth dropped open and the pink across his cheeks turned into a deep crimson. 

We snuggled up together in front of the fireplace and I silently begged whatever God there was out there to please take Eren’s nightmares away, at least for tonight. I was leaning against the backpack and his head was against my chest. He was nearly asleep already, breathing heavy from exhaustion. I pressed a kiss to his forehead gently and shut my own eyes. Hoping my own sleep would come just as easily. 

The next day

We extinguished the fire in the cabin and packed up what few supplies we had and left the little dingy cabin behind. We hiked down the mountain together, and once we reach the base of it, I commanded Eren to transform. I had one sword in my hand and the other tied to my belt. “Just like before Eren. Transform, pick me up, and head toward the walls. Listen to my voice and I will direct you. If we encounter any titans, kill them quickly, and move on.” He nodded and bit into his hand, transforming into the same titan that had brought us here. He had swiftly picked me up and placed me on his shoulder, and we were on our way. There was still an uneasiness resting in my stomach, but hopefully it would fade as we got closer to the walls. I directed him for most of the day, leading us in (hopefully) the right direction of the walls. We met a few stray titans on the way, but he quickly destroyed them and moved on, focusing on the goal at hand. 

Unexpectedly a group of 7 titans appeared and Eren let out and ear piercing roar. I held onto his hair, and tried to estimate how far we had made it in my head. Eren punched the first titan, knocking him to the ground and taking him out easily by crushing him, the next two were the same. The rest of the group started to gang up on him however. He bit the neck out of the fourth, killing it instantly. The 5th kicked its head off at just the right spot to sever it. The 6th took a good chunk of his arm, but he killed it just like the first. The last one however, proved to be the problem. It was fast. Almost too fast. Eren barely had time to take it out, but not before it ripped his titan head off and sent the whole body hurling to the ground. At least that thing was dead. I stabbed my sword into his titan’s shoulder and ‘rode’ down the disintegrating body, hoping and praying Eren was unscathed. Both titans hit the ground at the same time, steaming and beginning to turn to embers. I started yanking on Eren, pulling him out of the neck. Green eyes popped open and he grabbed my hand. He helped me pull himself out and he fell to his knees as soon as he was out.

“Eren, are you alright?” I asked as I looked him over. He was pale and he was breathing heavy. He nodded and proceeded to vomit beside my feet. “Seriously? That’s disgusting.” I knelt down beside him (on the opposite side of him obviously) he was shaking. “Eren?”

“H-He almost took off my head. I physically had to duck inside the cocoon.” I took a closer look at him. Chunks of loose hair was stuck to his face. No fucking way. I ran my hands through his hair and sure enough I got a handful of Eren’s hair. It HAD been that close. Close enough that Eren had gotten a haircut by the titan’s teeth. I let his hair casually fall to the ground and he puked again as he saw it.

“We need to find shelter for a bit.” I said as I tugged on his cloak. We can take a break, but not out in the open like this. Can you walk? 

“I-I’m not sure. I feel really weak.” 

“Just try, I’ll help you.” I draped his arm around my shoulder and lifted him to his feet. He felt so light against me, so it wasn’t a problem to help him walk to the shelter of the forest in the distance. We slowly climbed to the top of a hill to get our bearings and take a break.

“Here, rinse your mouth out first then drink.” I reach him a canteen and he happily did so, then gulped the water down. After a few minutes of resting he reach his hand up to his hair and ran his fingers through it with a frown.

“How bad is it?” I raised my eyebrow and ran my own hand through it comparing the length of the front back and sides. 

“Well let’s just say you are sporting a nice Avant-garde look shall we? I’ll take you to my barber when we get back, he’ll fix it…somehow.” Truthfully it would probably just have to be shaved down and he would have to start his ‘signature’ look all over again, but I wasn’t going to be the one to tell him that. Why was he so damned concerned about his hair anyways? “You look good no matter what, so it doesn’t matter.” I said as I took a sip from my own canteen. I saw Eren blush and look away.

“Anyways…how are you feeling? Do you think you can transform again? There is still quite a bit of daylight left? We may be able to make it back today if we can get our directions right.” 

“I’m a little tired…but I think I can do it! I’ve never actually tried this soon after before but I’m positive I can!” He said as he struggled to his feet. 

“Alright then! Eren you can do it! I have faith in you! Let’s get to the wall!” He bit into his hand with a wince and cried out as blood began to run down his hand. He looked at his hand for a moment as nothing happened. His hand began to shake and he tore into it again. And again.

“Eren! EREN!” Blood was running down his arm now. His eyes were wide and he was looking at me in terror.

“Why? WHY? WHY!!! WHY?!” He kept screaming as he tried to tear into his hand again, but I wouldn’t let him.

“STOP IT EREN! STOP!” I was holding his hand now, his blood was running down my own hand. “It’s a command!” I yelled. Tears welled up in his eyes and he fell to his knees. 

“Shit!” I tore the cravat from my neck and began wrapping it around his hand.

“Levi! You don’t-“

“Shut the fuck up!” He fell silent as I tried to stop the bleeding. “I think you hit a damn vein, brat.” He was going pale on me. What a lucky little trick he had, not being able to heal   
from self-inflicted wounds. I twisted my cravat as tightly as I could around his wrist, cutting off the blood flow. The bleeding stopped and I sighed. His eyes were wide at the amount of blood around us and on us. “Hold this Eren.” I said calmly as I guided his hand into position and put his fingers into place. Damn this was hard with one arm. I grabbed a nearby stick and slit it down the middle with my sword, letting the ‘clip’ take place of Eren’s finger’s. I scooted him up against the nearest tree and had him take another sip of water.

I got in the backpack and got out the small first aid kit and the other two cravats I had packed away, along with the bottle of booze. Damn the brat did some damage. He looked defeated and disappointed in himself. His arm was over his eyes, catching his silent tears as they fell no less. 

“Eren, listen. I’m sorry. I know things get jumbled up in your head after you transform. I know it’s hard for you to think clearly. So, I’m sorry.” He simply nodded beneath his arm and continued to hold out his hand for me patiently. “This isn’t going to feel very good.” He just nodded and balled up his fist, readying himself for the pain of his stupid mistake. I poured the alcohol over his hand to sanitize the area, it was crude, but after he had cleaned my arm so thoroughly the other day, it was all we had to prep with. 

“L-LEVIIIII!!!” I shoved my hand over his mouth and stared into his eyes. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and he was on the verge on hyperventilating. 

“Hey! Calm down. We are still in titan territory okay! We don’t have gear. You are bleeding. I’ve got a fucking tourniquet on you right now, and I only have one arm that works. So please Eren.” I whispered. He was shaking now.

“S-Sorry.” I heard him mumble. I took a moment to look past the tears and I saw something in Eren’s eyes that I hadn’t seen in a long time. Fear.

“Are you scared right now Eren?” I whispered to him. He simply nodded, as if admitting defeat. “Of me?” I asked curiously. I’d never hurt him willingly. I may have had a cruel personality towards some people, but I hoped he knew I truthfully wasn’t like that.

“No. Just everything. Except you. I’m sorry.” He breathed. “I trust you, Levi. You are the only thing I can trust out here. I can’t even trust my own damn self. I almost killed both of us just now.” Eren whimpered. My eyes narrowed and I ran my fingers through his hair. 

“Things happen, Eren. It’ll be alright.” I pressed a gentle kiss to his lips and leaned my head against his. “I’m not upset with you, alright?” He gave a nod. “I can’t blame you for being desperate for wanting to get us back home.” I looked down to see if his hand was dry, and it was now. I lifted his hand and placed it on my lap. “Listen, anything you need to do, besides scream or hit my broken arm, is fine. This is gonna hurt like a bitch. I’ve had it done before.” He leaned his head against my neck and I felt his lips against it, beginning to suck lightly. It felt nice at least, hopefully he didn’t bite MY damn artery when I put the gel in. Where did he get those teeth anyways?

I ripped open the packet and forced the gel down into his wound. He winced at the initial shock of the pain, but to my surprise, he didn’t bite down, he just sucked harder. I was going to have one hell of a hickey on my neck. I threw the packet to the side and laced the fingers of his other hand and mine together, squeezing it as I did so. Hopefully the quick clot was doing it’s job. “You are doing so well, Eren. I’m proud of you.” After the pain had eased he, let go of my neck and rested his head on my shoulder. I reluctantly let go of him and went back to the kit again, and after having him help me tie the initial knot, I began to sew up his hand. He shuttered every time the needle went through, and finally after tying the last bit of string and biting it to cut it, I finished it with a kiss. Okay, hopefully it holds. I released the cravat, and to my surprise, the bleeding had thankfully stopped. I tied a clean cravat around Eren’s hand gently and threw all the dirty ones in the bag with the rest of the supplies. I heard a rustling behind us and drew my sword, ready for what could be my last fight. 

I heard a familiar snort as hooves trotted towards us. “What the…” I grabbed the reigns of what appeared to be one of the horses from the Survey Corps. And sure enough, right on the saddle, was the emblem for the wings of freedom. 

“Eren!” He was already on his feet, though he was extremely unstable, he was ready to move. We both jumped on the horse and led it to the last know landmark that we had seen. It was roughly 4 o’clock if my internal clock could tell right and I could almost taste a warm meal on our lips. I felt Eren up against me, and it felt nice just to ride in comfortable silence. I would check on him every now and then to make sure he hadn’t slipped into unconsciousness, but I could tell he was just extremely exhausted. I finally felt him lean his head against my back and I smiled. He was finally relaxing. He knew he didn’t have to worry about getting us home any longer. I was praying the whole way that we didn’t encounter any titans. What a joke, Humanity’s Strongest Soldier praying that he didn’t see a titan. I didn’t care at this point. And then we saw them.

“Eren look!” I nudged him with my elbow. Just as the sun was setting on the edge of the hill, the walls appeared over the valley. “Home sweet home!” He simply chuckled.

“Does this mean I have to call you Captain again and not lay on you? I’m so tired, Levi…” He whispered to me. I looked over my shoulder at him.   
“Like I said before Eren, it doesn’t bother me. Just not in front of superiors is all that I ask. Deal?” He simply nodded and his head was back against me. The next thing we heard were the ever so welcome ringing bells.


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are have finally made it back into the walls, but things don't always go according to plan do they?

Levi’s POV

Familiar voices wouldn’t shut the fuck up and we rode to HQ. As we arrived I helped Eren down and he clumsily leaned against me from the exhaustion. I told him the first thing we had to do when we got back was report to Erwin or he would kick both of our asses. I held him up and helped him walk as we tried to enter the front door as a familiar figure stood in my way. 

“Get out of the way Ackerman. We need to report. You can talk to Eren in a little while. The sooner we do this the better.” She proceeded to punch me right in the fucking face. Eren almost fell in the process, but I didn’t dare let go of him, even to nurse my own damn bloody nose.

“What the hell Mikasa?!” Eren screamed at the top of his lungs. Her eyes widened. He managed to gather enough strength to take his own cloak and begin to soak up the blood from my nose. “What’s your damn problem? If you have a problem with Levi you have a problem with me got it?” He said to her as I pushed past her. She dropped her head as she realized I had been holding him up. 

We finally made it up to Erwin’s office and he let us collapse on his couch. 

“You guys look like hell, ooh especially your nose Levi. What happened?”

“Damn Ackerman.” I sneered as I looked at Eren. ”What’s her problem?”

“She probably thinks it’s your fault for some reason.” Eren said as he shook his head, “That we got lost I mean.” 

“Okay. Levi first. I want the off record report. These.” He handed Levi a parcel about 6 inches thick, “Are for you to start tomorrow. 

“Shit Erwin, All of these? Anyways. We started off great, we traveled all damn day, and never ran into any titans, and somehow I don’t know I guess I underestimated them. I asked the kids if they wanted to keep going. I didn’t think there would be any titans that active during dusk, but we ran into an aberrant. It was completely my fault. And then to beat it all we got separated during everything. Everyone had to go separate ways because we went into the forest and we were still on horseback. Eren got thrown off of his and that’s they only reason we managed to stay together, is because I pulled him up onto mine. We still got thrown off our horse and the titan kicked us all the way into the middle of fuckin nowhere. Destroyed both of our gear. Eren transformed his arm just in time to save my head from smashing against a tree, but my arm hit and broke.” Erwin cringed at that statement and motioned for Levi to go on. “We stayed in a basic lean to for a night or two, I can’t remember, everything is a blur. My days aren’t exactly right, so excuse me if my time line isn’t exactly correct. Eren set my arm for me and bandaged it up. We left and found a little cabin the middle of nowhere once again, we only stayed there for a night I think, just enough time for Eren to recover after shifting. Then we decided to try to risk coming back here. He pretty much chewed up a vein in his hand on the way, which is why I had to make him my personal patchwork quilt. Which I’m sure your finest nurses and doctors will see once you send them over correct?”

Before I could say anything else, someone else stepped into the room and cut me off.

“Actually Levi, the Military Police will be attending to both of your injuries. Don’t worry, we’ve made accommodations.” 

“Military Police? Why?” 

“You’ve been outside the walls for weeks with a Titan-Shifter! You think we will let you back in and trust you automatically? Plus you are going to be put on trial for what happened to your team obviously.”

Eren’s eyes got wide. I could’ve seen them from a mile away. But I knew one thing damn well, there were three cells under the military court. One cell was full of heavy ammunition, and my bet was that they were too lazy to move it knowing the military police. And the other cell had a long time POW, a serial killer that had been there for years. 

Two other military police officers walked into the room, ready to escort them out. 

“Sir I have a request, please.” Erwin said as he saluted him. 

“Go on.”

“Please, let them see my doctors if you don’t mind. They are familiar with their medical history. Levi has some quirky…ugh allergies.”

The commander of the military police sighed and allowed Erwin to send his own doctors over to the cell tonight.

“Hands behind your back Levi.” 

“Are you a fucking idiot? I have a broken arm!” I said as I shot them a glare “Unless you plan on permanently disfiguring me?” They slipped a cuff around my other wrist and clipped it to their own.

“Jaeger, cuff up. You remember how.” They said with a crude laugh. Poor Eren. He tried to stand and fell to his knees. They kicked him, trying to force him to stand. 

“He’s had fucking blood loss!” I growled. Erwin came to the rescue, helping Eren stand and cuff up. Eren was past the point of leaning against someone to walk now and Erwin just opted to carrying him on his back like a kid. It was a slow walk to the military dungeon and the last words I remember hearing from the surface were his sister screaming, where are you taking Eren?! Not this again!!! 

 

Just as I had thought, we were walking down the familiar steps and they led us into the cell, and after thankfully un-cuffing us, they locked the door behind us. I was pissed that they had just basically pushed Eren into the cell in front of me and let him fall the rest of the way in. Erwin was nice enough to bring him all the way down here, but they wouldn’t allow him to place him inside the cell. I gripped the bars with my good hand and peered out at Erwin as the Military Police began to walk away, obviously they didn’t see us as much of a threat to let their guard down that much. 

“I sent word for the doctors, they’ll be here soon, Levi.” I simply nodded and looked over at Eren, hunched over on the floor. I ignored every nerve in my body pulling at my heart screaming at my telling me to go pick him up. The one MP left in the corner huffed at the remark. I was shaking now, but I wouldn’t let my nerves get the better of me.   
Eventually Hanji, along with a few white coats showed up, and the MP graciously let them into the cell. Eren was slipping in and out of consciousness now. She lifted him up onto the small bed, if you could even call it a bed, and observed him for a bit, while the doctors examined my crude field stitching.

“Sorry, I’m not the best seamstress in the field.” I remarked.   
“Maybe not, but whatever you did appeared to have saved the kid’s life.” I blinked my eyes as the reality of their words hit me. Had my actions REALLY saved Eren? I swallowed hard as it was my turn next for attention. 

“L-Levi.” Eren groaned as he awoke from his most recent state of unconsciousness. “What’s going on?”

“You were out of it. We are in the Military Prison for some stupid reason, the doctors are checking us over, and they seem to think you’ll be okay. You just need to recover from the blood loss. It’s their turn to fix my arm now.” Eren groaned and he moved over on the bed, as if allowing me a place to sit. I shrugged and sat down next to him. Hell, we’d be sharing this damn cell for a while anyways. Erwin lifted his eyebrow. The doctor undid the sling around my neck as Eren’s hazy green eyes carefully watched his moves. He let my arm gently fall to my lap and asked the nurse to start bringing him various supplies. 

He took a sharp pair of scissors and began to cut away at the bandages that Eren had carefully wrapped around my arm that fateful day, so he could get a good look at what he was dealing with. My stomach sank in anticipation and worry, and I just looked away. I looked over to the man that had supported me through the wilderness and back, and even though he could barely even move, he was still ready to jump onto the doctor if he made a single wrong move. I could see it as he watched his every move intensely. 

“You there boy, he said you set this bone?” Eren swallowed hard and nodded, and I returned my stare back to the doctor. “Someone skilled obviously taught you, because you did it perfectly.” We both let out a sigh of relief, and he carried on to tell me how he was going to wrap it in a plaster cast for a few weeks as a precaution, because it was a nasty break.

“Try to wiggle your fingers Levi.” I shot him a glare, but I did my best, and to my surprise I did have a little movement. “We will check it two weeks.” I simply nodded and after they cleaned and addressed a few minor scrapes and cuts we had left, they all left, including Hanji and Erwin.

“Levi…have you ever had a trial before?” Eren asked me as he looked up towards my face.

“No, I haven’t. The only one I’ve ever participated in was yours.” 

“They should see that they gave it your all right? It wasn’t your fault!” 

“HEY! QUIET DOWN IN THERE!” The guard snarled. I sighed and scooted closer to Eren, definitely not afraid now that I was sporting my new hard as a rock cast. 

“Shhhhh.” I whispered. “Don’t want him to get his panties in a bundle.” I breathed. Eren laughed and we pulled the covers over the top of us. 

“All we can do is hope and pray that is goes well Eren. So many things could happen that are out of our control. They can range from training to demotion to being kicked out of the military all together all the way to…” he looked at me with those big green eyes as if begging me not to say it but I felt that it was necessary, “execution.” His breath caught in his throat and he squeeze my hand tight. “We just have to stay positive, okay?” He simply nodded and his eye lids began to flutter open and closed again.

“Go ahead and sleep Eren, I know you are exhausted.” I pulled him closer to me, finally giving two shits less about what the MP guards had to say to us. It was a small bed anyways. His hand found my shirt and gripped it tightly. He must’ve still been thinking about what I had said. Soon enough his hand loosened a bit against my shirt and his breathing slowed. 

I was terrified, but I wasn’t going to admit that to him. I sighed deeply, and it made him stir slightly in his sleep. I didn’t want to lose the one person I finally had to fight for now. And I sure as hell didn’t want Eren to lose the person that could help him control the titan power contained within him, because God knows what would happen if they executed me and he went on a rampage. I could use that in my plea at least if it came down to it. Did they really think they could take Eren out? I’m the only one that can, and if you did away with me. I shuttered at the thought. Could I really do away with him now? After everything we have went through together? I would risk every part of him before I took his life that was for damn sure.

“Damn it all to hell.” I cursed under my breath and Eren wiggled against me again. I looked over his peaceful face, and touched his hair and felt tears sting my eyes. I refused to let them flow. This stubborn, stupid, bratty, kid made me feel human. He made me feel real and it scared the shit out of me. It’s true my feelings were strong for him, I could tell it down in the pit of my stomach when I thought about him. But I just couldn’t let my mind stray that far tonight, so I forced my eyes closed. Luckily this dungeon was somewhat heated. At least we were out of the elements, and I was thankful for that. Before I knew it, I was off in my own dream world. 

 

Eren’s POV 

Everything was moving in slow motion. Colors and shapes and odd auras around us. I had to be dreaming. I knew I was but I was trapped and couldn’t wake up. The MP were leading me and Levi down the courtroom and anchored us both down in the same spot that I was tied to before. 

“Levi, we have decided to forego any actual hearing, and after reading your reports, find you guilty of…”  
Blah blah blah. That’s all I heard. I wanted to touch him, but I was anchored down and couldn’t reach. We were barely inches apart, but so far away from each other. 

“You will be immediately sentenced to death, so you can no longer cause harm to any other comrades. Guards!”

“No. No. NO! LEVI!!” I screamed. I thrashed. I wanted to wake up. I reach out for him. I couldn’t wake myself. I begged that it was a dream and I wanted to wake up so badly, but I couldn’t pull myself from the depths of my thoughts. I tried again to reach for him. “LEVI!!!” I screamed. They put the barrel of the gun to his head and pulled the trigger right then and there. There was blood everywhere. He went limp in front of me and his blood pooled around my legs. “No!” I was crying, I felt the warm liquid salt running down my face. I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t save him. I was still weak. 

“Shut up monster!” 

“Eren! Eren!” I felt a warm hand wipe away my tears. “Wake up!” My eyes shot open. “Oh God! I thought you were dead.” I sobbed. 

“Oh look, the monster is crying!” The military police guard laughed as he looked in at us. 

“Why don’t you shut the fuck up? Have you ever been outside of the walls asshole? Do you know what kind of PTSD that will send a guy into? What kind of nightmares you will have? Especially after being stuck out there WITHOUT maneuver gear and having to survive on your own.” Levi hissed. The man’s expression went blank. 

“I heard about that, but I didn’t know it was you two that was stuck out there. I-I apologize.” He said with a slight bow. Levi nodded and the MP walked off to lean against a far wall.

I was still sobbing hysterically against Levi’s shirt, and he pulled me closer. 

“Shhhhhh.” He wrapped his injured arm around my back and it felt really strange. I felt his cast pushing against me, but his upper arm and shoulder was soft and strong. His other hand found my hair like it normally did. “There, now I can sort of hold you properly at least.” He whispered into my ear. This statement made the tears pour out harder. “Do you want to talk about it? Would it help?” He asked as he leaned his head against mine.

“T-They took u-us to court together, and they didn’t e-even give you a trial.” I sobbed. “They announced you were guilty for some weird reason and stuck a gun to your head and pulled the trigger r-right there. I couldn’t reach you. I was right there b-but I couldn’t reach you. There w-was blood everywhere. You just fell o-over.” Fresh tears started to fall and I felt Levi pull the covers up over our heads. 

The next thing I knew, kisses were being places lightly on my neck on face, working their way to my lips. “Just be quiet, Eren.” He whispered. Softer than I’d ever heard him say anything before. I simply nodded and he wiped away my tears again, placing a fresh kiss to my cheek softly. He then proceeded to climb on top of me, and captured my lips in an extremely gentle kiss. “I can’t promise everything will be okay, or that everything will work out and we’ll have a story book ending, but I’ll say this Eren.” He whispered in the same tone he used before, no way that the stray night guard could hear. “I’ve never cared about anyone as much as I care about you.” He breathed before capturing my lips again, mouth becoming fully involved this time. Our kiss was deep and passionate and when it finally broke, we were both breathing heavy desperate for more. “And I promise if we make it through this, we are taking that time off together.” I nodded and brought our lips together again. 

“I care about you too Levi, so much it hurts.” I whispered as I placed my hand over my heart. It was almost ironic. The same place that I was just previously saluting to this man a few weeks prior, now held a special spot for him.

“Well hopefully that pain will turn into something good eventually.” I said with a smile. There was that damn smile again. The one that made me thirst for him. I just needed to be closer to him when he smiled. It was contagious. He smirked and looked down, obviously he felt my want pressing into his leg. “Here’s my next question. Can you be quiet and not make a peep, or will you get us in trouble? Because they will probably separate us if they find out what we are doing in here.” Levi whispered. “Because I will be a dick and not touch you. I’m not risking being separated from you Jaeger. You have to promise me.” 

“I-If I can suck on your neck…like in the forest. I should be okay.” I whispered. He smirked and got adjusted by rolling over slightly. He pulled me to him. “I promise. I won’t get us separated Levi.” He smiled again and kissed my forehead. “Can I?” He simply nodded and we both decided to unbutton our own pants, to make it easier. 

“Okay, now Shhhhh.” He whispered as he leaned my face into his neck. He refused to touch me until my lips were on his skin. They finally made contact and when they did, he did. He sent shivers down my spine, and I sucked on his neck a little harder. I looked up for a moment and let my hand down to the open fly of his pants and pulled his erection out, making him close his eyes for a second. His mouth stayed shut, and he not a peep escaped his lips. I thought back to the night in the cabin and mimicked the movements he taught me as he did the same thing to me. Our actions were muffled by the surprisingly thick blankets on our bed. My hand brushed up against Levi’s balls and his head shot back, exposing the front of his neck, which I began to suck on instead. 

“No marks there Eren. Just under where my cravat will hide.” He breathed and I obliged. “For now at least.” He added with a smirk. I nodded, only sucking lightly on the front of his neck and returning my heavy sucks to the side of his neck at the base when he started to speed up his pumps. I did the same and began to feel that familiar coil in my groin begin to tighten. I sucked harder on his neck, trying to tell him silently I was nearing my end. My hand brushed up against his balls again, and I felt him shutter against me, and I squeezed his cock hard, pumping it up and down as I had been before, but brushing against his balls as I did so. To my surprise, Levi ended up cumming first, spilling over my hand and the sheets. He turned towards me and captured my lips in a kiss, pumping my cock hard until I breathed hard into his mouth and came into his hand. He wiped it on the bed and pulled me close, placing a single kiss on my lips. 

“Try to get some rest Eren. No more nightmares tonight, eh?” He said to me as he pulled the covers back down. The air felt cool as it hit my face, but his contrasting warmth felt wonderful. 

“I’ll try my best.” He gave me another smile and stroked my hair until I dozed off.


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of the trial!

Eren’s POV

“Levi! Eren! Get up now!” I opened my eyes to see Erwin staring in at us through the bars of the cell. “The trial is in 2 hours. Do you want a shower?”

“God yes.” Levi said as he said as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. I noted how adorable he looked with bed head. Oh wow. Levi adorable. He would kill me if I ever told him that I’m sure.

“You two are in the same bed?” Erwin said with a raised eyebrow.

“I sure as hell wasn’t sleeping on that dirty ass floor.” Levi said as he cringed. Erwin just rolled his eyes.  
“Fine, I’ll go get the guard.” He lifted the covers as soon as Erwin was away from the bars. He reach his hands underneath and I felt his hand on my pants and a blush crept across my cheeks. 

“That would have been hard to explain.” He said as he moved his hand from the button on my pants to his. Just as he finished, Erwin returned with keys and a guard.  
I had to cuff up, but they spared Levi once again. They moved us to the shower area, where Erwin proceeded to reach us each a bag. We looked inside to see that it had soap and clothes. 

“Just what I always wanted.” Levi scoffed. 

“Eren, will you help Levi in the showers please. He can’t get that damn cast wet.” 

“Yes, sir.” I said as I was un-cuffed and followed him into the shower area. Erwin and the MP guard set outside, I could hear their voices echoing, talking about recent titan studies or some nonsense. We stood in what appeared to be a locker area. I carefully helped Levi undress, eyes traveling over his body as I did so.

“Pervert.” He mumbled. My face was already red by now, so anything he said wasn’t going to make it any worse. He had that lusty gleam in his eyes.

“You made me this way.” I whispered, helping him slip off his underwear. He smirked as I did so.

“Fair enough. I’ll meet you in the shower room.” I nodded and watched Levi as he grabbed his soap and a towel and walked into the adjacent room. I quickly stripped off my clothes and did the same, joining him in the tiled room. He was trying to figure out how to start the shower without soaking his cast.

“Step back.” I started the water for him and he carefully stepped under up, being sure not to splash himself. He sighed as the water ran over him. I started the shower next to us and began washing myself, feeling the heat flood my body as I did so. It did feel nice to be clean again. To actually have a real shower. After I had soaped up and washed off I cut the water off and returned to Levi, who was still standing silently under the water. 

“Need help?” He quietly nodded, he didn’t even open his eyes. I took the soap and began to wash and scrub every place I could get my hands and fingers on, and because it was Levi and he was a clean freak, I even double washed every place. “You okay?”

“Yeah…just…a little apprehensive.” I moved down to his ass and began soaping it up. “Ugh…Eren. You don’t have to. If you are uncomfortable I mean.” 

“I-I’m just washing you. No big deal. N-Nurses do it all the time.” He smirked and brought our lips together. 

“Nurses don’t turn red and stutter, idiot.” He said with a smile. I remained silent and kept scrubbing. I moved down to his cock next and soaped it up. He shuttered as I ran my hands over it. “I swear to God Jaeger, if I die today at the hearing and I have a hard on because of you for the rest of the day, I’m going to haunt your ass.” I frowned and pulled  
away, throwing the soap at the shower wall.

“Don’t say shit like that!” I yelled as I looked him in the eyes. He looked away and took a hold of my hand. “You know about that fucking dream I had last night.”

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I just…I’m scared Eren. I’m fucking terrified okay?” His hand was trembling. I could tell as I held it in mine. 

“You okay in there Eren!?!” Erwin yelled. 

“Yeah Levi is just making raunchy dropped the soap jokes!” We heard Erwin chuckle and walk away. Levi raised an eyebrow at me as if to say really?

“I’m terrified. I can take down the biggest titan with ease, Eren. Maybe not without maneuver gear on, but with it I can just…fly. But when it comes to stuff like this, I’m helpless. I can’t fight humanity. It’s like I said before. They fear our power.” I sighed and drew him into my embrace.

“Things will turn out okay, I can feel it in my heart.” I felt him smile against my neck and after a few moments I pulled away and went after the soap. 

“Hey Eren…You dropped that soap you know.” He said with a smirk.

“Levi!” 

After we finished up our shower, we changed into our clean clothes. Mikasa must have picked mine out. Brown pants and a white shirt. Levi’s was similar, but his pants were black. I dried his hair with a towel and combed it how it should be (I hoped). I helped him dress, thankful for no hard to latch buckles of the maneuver gear and we headed out to meet Erwin. My hair was still damp and messy, but I could really care less. My focus was on Levi. The cuffs were on my wrists again, and we were being led upstairs to the Military courtroom. 

We were led through the doors, just like before, but as a pair this time, and made to kneel again. Somehow, they managed to chain Levi up, with one leg and one arm, to the post behind us. I was chained to the same post. We looked around the courtroom and saw all of the familiar faces staring at us. He sighed heavily, and then I felt something warm against my thumb. Surely enough, he had managed to wrap two of his own fingers around it. That was my anchor. I could feel our shoulders touching, and I could see his face next to mine, (we were much closer than in my dream) but just having that little bit of touch there was enough to ground me.

 

Levi’s POV

“At this moment we begin the trial and decide the fate of not one, but two survey corps members. We read Erwin’s report and he stated that your team ran into an aberrant and couldn’t keep communications together?”

“No sir. It was around dusk. The smoke signals were pointless to use and weren’t expecting any titans to be active during that time. They usually start quieting down around that time. And we were headed straight into a forest and got split up. During all of the commotion, Jaeger fell off of his horse and almost got crushed. I had to pull him up onto my horse.”

“Why was that such a priority for you? Why is he not JUST another Soldier? You could have saved the rest of the team had you have let him fall could you not?” I could see Eren’s glance drop to the floor and I brushed my finger against his thumb. Don’t say anything stupid like last time, idiot. I could just see the wheels turning in his brain. Thankfully he got the message and stayed silent.

“I was not only trusted as the leader of that current mission, but I was also trusted with the long term mission of guarding Eren Jaeger with my life. On that same token, it is also my responsibility to take out Eren Jaeger if he loses control of his titan power, the valuable resource to our military. I was deemed the only one who would be able to do such a thing.” 

“I see.” The judge scribbled down some notes and stared at the both of us. “What exactly have you been doing to contribute to the restoration of humanity against the titans, Levi? You and Eren I mean?”

“We have been training. At least we were until I had to go on a bit of an extended mission away and it was halted. We wouldn’t have gotten back here if we couldn’t have worked as a team together to control Eren’s titan abilities. We were a whole day and a half’s travel outside of the wall with no maneuver gear. We ran into hordes of titans on the way back, at least 10 that I can remember. Not to mention that I had a broken arm. Eren saved my life and he got us both home safely. He followed my directions closely. Yes, we had some close calls with his power and I had to cut him out or he got so tired he just automatically expelled, but those things happen. It can all be improved with training.” More note taking. More nodding. 

“Erwin Smith, commander of the Survey Corps, would you like to add anything?”

“Yes, I would. I have personally worked with Levi for years, so I for one know how upsetting it is for him to lose comrades in battle. He may not show it on his face, but he mourns the deaths of every single person that has ever gone out with us on recon and has never come back. We have lived hard lives, Sir. We have to harden our emotions so our hearts don’t get ripped apart in the process. But I can assure you that Captain Levi did everything in his power to keep his team together and alive, and those plans fell apart. All he has left is regret and apologies for the situation at hand. That is all.”

“Thank you commander.”

“Well Levi, you are very lucky that you have a superior officer that is willing to stand up for you like that. What do you propose should be your own punishment? We can’t go and let you run off without any type of consequence.”

“If I may propose something, I’ve been thinking about it ever since that day in the forest. I would like to partake in communications training. I would actually like to train the whole Survey Corps in it if possible, but I know something like that may be beyond my level.” The judge rubbed his chin for a moment.

“Levi, obviously you have thought deeply about this or you wouldn’t want to take this information back to your whole organization. I will leave this communications training in the hands of Commander Erwin Smith. You will continue to have control over Eren Jaeger, and Levi-“ he looked me directly in the eyes. “Be careful. My next ruling with you in the center of my courtroom will not turn out as pretty. You remember what happened last time.” My eyes narrowed and I nodded.

“Yes Sir. Thank You.” The gavel hit and we were released from our cuffs. Eren still looked heartbroken and I tugged on his sleeve for him to follow me as went in the direction of the blonde headed oaf that saved both of our asses. 

“Erwin, Thank You.” I said seriously. 

“No problem, I can’t afford to lose the best soldier I have.” Come to my office in a couple of hours. I have a few more sheets of paperwork I need you two to fill out and your communications training to discuss I guess. I nodded and turned to Eren after Erwin walked off. He was staring at his friends. 

“Go talk to them. You’ve barely seen them since we’ve got back. We are free now after all. We’ll besides our training. We can all go for lunch if you’d like?” His eyes got wide. 

“Even after she punched you in the face?” I shrugged.

“She was pissed. If something happened to you and it was her fault, I’d probably do the same thing truthfully.” I smirked as a red glow began to spread across his cheeks. “Did I say something embarrassing?” I said with a raised eyebrow.

“N-No, lets go!” He tugged on my shirt and pulled me through the dissipating crowd to the direction of his friends. 

“Mikasa! Armin!”

“Eren!” They ran and hugged him like they hadn’t seen him in years. The ties of true friendship. “We are so glad everything turned out okay!” Mikasa scowled at me over Eren’s head, but he didn’t notice. He was purely beaming with happiness. It was nice to see him like that. 

“Levi invited us all to lunch, are you guys up for it?” 

“I don’t eat with people that nearly kill my friends.” Mikasa stated coldly. I stared at her with my usual expression. Eren sighed and he tugged on his sister’s red scarf. 

“We need to have a talk outside. NOW.” Eren stated as he tugged her away.


	10. Capter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren has a talk with Mikasa. Levi REALLY enjoys some sweets ;)

Eren’s POV

I pulled Mikasa through the crowd out to the side street, leaving Armin and Levi together inside waiting for us. I shoved her back against the wall.

“What the hell Mikasa?” 

“That jerk almost got you killed, and you want us to go have lunch with him Eren? Not to mention I still haven’t forgiven him for beating the crap out of you at the last trial!” I glared at her.

“Well get over it! Shit happens! Learn to adjust! Levi is our Captain, we have to get along with him!” I said as I leaned up against the wall.

“Getting along and eating lunch are two different things, what your deal? Something is up with you. Why are you red?” She got closer to me and started staring at my neck. “Do   
you have a fever? Did that bastard let you get sick too?” 

“NO! Fuck it! Mikasa….Levi and I….” She looked at me with her blank eyes that could stare through commander Erwin if they wanted to. I froze up. “We’ve become good allies. We are going to be training together, so you need to get over it!”

“Fine. Whatever.” Levi and Armin were waiting out front of the building for us. Levi insisted that we visit his favorite coffee shop for lunch. He treated us all to coffee and cake for lunch, oh so healthy. Mikasa refused to let him buy her anything. He sat surprisingly close to me, and even shared a teaspoon with me, but I guess she didn’t notice. 

Armin was happily munching away on his cake.

“How’s your hand healing up, Eren?” Levi asked casually, taking it in his so he could look it over. I could feel my face get red, and I began to stutter.

“I-It’s a lot less sore. Thanks. Stitches might be able to come out in a few days.” He nodded and let my hand go with a questioning look. Mikasa sighed.

“I think I will have a coffee.” She said as she left the table to go to the counter to order.

“Did you not tell her?” Levi whispered to me. My eyes dropped to the floor, and he kicked my leg making my eyes meet his again. Armin was oblivious, happily enjoying his fucking cake. 

“I got stared down. I was too nervous. I said we’d become good friends.” His eyes narrowed. 

“Listen Jaeger.” Mikasa was slowly walking back to the table now, carefully balancing her coffee. “I’m not always the sweet loving boyfriend you know. You are mine. That’s it. 

You’ll tell them. I’ll embarrass you until you do.” He said with a smirk. My eyes widened he leaned back in his chair. Mikasa took her seat across from Levi and crossed her arms. 

“Where were you guys on your mission while we were gone?” Levi asked trying to start up conversation. Mikasa refused to talk, so Armin finally put down his fork and started talking about his mission. I was listening intently until Levi “accidently” knocked his spoon off the table by my foot. 

He proceeded to pick it up, stopping to caress my thigh, and run his hand across my cock on the way up, making my shiver.

“Eren, are you okay. You look a little red in the face? You aren’t getting sick are you?” 

“N-no, just hot in here!” He hadn’t moved his hand from my inner thigh. Next he proceeded to knock over the cream for the coffee in my lap.

“Damn, am I a klutz today or what?” he said with a smirk. He took the tea towel off of the table and began to pat my lap with it. He was already giving me a hard on with this crap, and he rubbed it through my pants, making me shiver again.

“Levi, I’ve got it! S-stop!” Mikasa furrowed her eyebrow.

My pants were finally (mostly) dry and I could see him eyeing the table for what else he could spill on me. I could feel my face, I knew I was bright red. Surely they wouldn’t notice. 

The waitress was walking over to our table at this time. Thank God. I sighed. We were finally going to get our check and leave. But no, not until Levi got what he wanted. He had that smirk on his face still. 

“I think I’m going to have another slice of cake, we’ve been gone for so long, I might as well treat myself. You guys want anything else?” Armin also ordered another slice, and I passed. I sure as hell didn’t want a whole slice of cake falling onto me. As the waitress set the cake on the table, I saw a fire light up in Levi’s eyes. The restaurant was empty besides us. I was so glad. My hands were shaking now. Levi smirked as he coughed and the powdered sugar from his cake flew onto me, across my neck and arms. 

“Let me get that for you Eren.” Levi said as he began to move in closer to me with not a napkin, but his lips.

“We are in a relationship!” I blurted out. I was mortified. I was covered in sugar. But somehow, there was Levi’s hand again, under the table, wrapping up with mine in the most difficult times. 

“Damn. I really wanted that sugar too.” He said as he leaned back.” Armin dropped his fork and let out a small laugh.

“I thought you just said-“

“He did Armin.” Mikasa said as she took a sip of coffee. He looked completely puzzled, like our great strategist couldn’t figure something out for once.

“I’m sure you can figure out something as simple as 1+1=2, Armin?” Levi asked. 

“So So So, What? You two are together? Like dating?” My face was hot, I felt sweaty, and now sticky thanks to Levi. I let out a sigh.

“Yes Armin.” I said as I raised our hands above the table to show him. His eyes got wide. 

“Wow, I never expected that.”

“Crazy things happen when you get trapped outside the walls.” Mikasa said as she sipped on her coffee. 

“So is this going to be an under the table affair orrr?” She asked as she stared directly at me. Those judging eyes again. They made me squirm.

“I intend to show every ounce of my affection towards your brother to every soul of this city. Well, not every ounce. And not exactly the higher officers either. We decided that   
doesn’t seem like a good call, but everyone else will know.” 

“You better not screw this up, or I really will beat the shit out of you.” Mikasa said as she took another sip of coffee. “If you hurt Eren, I will hurt you.” Levi nodded and returned to   
his cake. Armin was still staring oddly at me. I guess he was in disbelief. After we finished up, Levi picked up the tab, we looked at the clock and parted ways. We headed to   
Erwin’s office.

After knocking on the door and being invited in, we entered and Erwin encouraged us to sit. 

“What happened to you Eren? Get in a food fight?” I sighed.

“You could say that.” Levi smirked and began talking to him about the training as I filled out my share of the paperwork. I got lost in my own little world as I tried to remember   
everything that happened. Everything was blurry from when I transformed and a lot of the times around it. 

“Eren. Are you listening?” My head popped up from the paper.

“I’m sorry. I zoned out.” 

“Did you still want to take time off for training?” Levi asked me intently. 

“Yes! Absolutely!” I said as I almost knocked the clipboard over. 

“When does your cast come off Levi?”

“They said two weeks, hopefully.” He said with a sigh. Erwin pulled a couple of papers out of his desk he handed two of each to both of us. 

“Obviously the first form is a medical leave form. You guys can hang around the Survey Corps building for 2 weeks while you heal up. The second form is a consent to train outside of base form. You sure about this Levi? Do you need us to set up a location?”

“Yeah, we need a location. Yes, I’m sure. We need to catch up to where we were. Heavy training is what Eren needs right now.”

“Alright. Sign on the line then. In two weeks training will begin. Injuries permitting of course. Training will last for a month and if more time is required you may ask for an extension that I will either approve or deny.” We both signed the papers and after finishing up our paperwork, we headed back to the barracks. 

“Haven’t been here in a while.” Levi said as he walked through the front door with me beside him. He stopped immediately. “Look at this fucking place.” For the first time in weeks I actually feared Levi. 

“ATTENTION SCOUTS IN HERE NOW!” I heard whispers of ‘oh shit Captain Levi is back! I haven’t cleaned my room!” and such.

“Anyone care to tell me why this place looks like a fucking pig stall?” Only silence. They knew better than to speak up. He looked at the clock. “Well you are lucky that I am so worn out. You have until-“ He looked at the clock on the wall. “7pm to make this whole castle shine or everyone except Jaeger is sleeping in the barn.” Jean decided to speak up. 

Bad move.

“Why not Jaeger!?!” Jean asked angrily.

“Ugh, I don’t know Kirstein, maybe something to do with him not being here the last few weeks to make this damn mess? Oh yeah we’ve been outside the damn walls being chased by titans and in jail!” That shut him up real quick.

“Come one, Jaeger. Let’s leave these pigs to clean.” I followed Levi as he walked up the stairs.

“Levi, my bedroom is down in the-“

“Shut up.” I fell silent and kept a steady pace behind him. “I pay a maid to come clean my room once a week while I’m away so it doesn’t get disgusting. Your room is probably filthy.” We arrived at the double doors, just like in my dream.

“Don’t make me regret my decision Eren.” He opened one side up and pulled me inside, shutting it behind him. “We are both exhausted. It’s been weeks since either of us has gotten any decent sleep. How about we take a nap?” The window to his room had been left open and a soft breeze was blowing in, making the room smell fresh and clean. I looked at his face, it was really the first time I had seen it in decent light in the last few days. The circles under his eyes were more pronounced. He did look exhausted. 

“Sounds good to me.” He pulled down the covers on his bed, and looked at me.

“Sorry about the shirt, but it needs to come off. I DID get sugar on it earlier.” He said with a grin, loosening the string on my shirt. He easily slipped it over my head, and I helped him do the same with his. 

“You don’t have to be so careful now, it’s in plaster.” I frowned and placed a kiss on his fingers.

“I’m still worried about it though. I’m sorry.” He placed a kiss to my lips and smaller ones down my neck. We left our pants on and crawled into his nice clean bed. It felt so odd to be in something so luxurious after so long. We had slept on the ground, on wood floors, and on the military ‘bed’ not even fit for an animal.” And yes, his room was as warm as I   
had imagined. 

He carefully wrapped both arms around me, and I did the same to him. My head fell back against the pillow behind me and his smell enveloped me. Everything around me was Levi. 

“Hey, Eren.” He was rubbing small circles across my chest, it tickles slightly but it felt nice.

“Hmmm.”

“Sorry for earlier. About what I did in front of your friends, I just, don’t show feelings well.” I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled him closer.

“It’s fine, Everything turned out okay. How about you take me to your barber tomorrow to make up for it? I still have this awful titan chomp cut on my head.” Levi smiled and brought our lips together, deepening the kiss for just a few moments. 

“Deal.” I smiled back at him and pulled the covers up, making him shiver.

“Now let’s rest, Levi.”


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their nap doesn't go as planned. o.o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to kittyotakuwriter ;) <3 as promised!

Eren’s POV

Why was there always so much blood? Why could I never win? I was chasing Levi through the trees and all around us, our comrades were fall like flies, being smashed against tress, getting bitten in half, swallowed whole. 

Keep moving forward. Trust me. Trust in our team, Eren. 

I swallowed hard, running my own hand across my brow. I was sweating. We must have been running for a while. What’s that? Something wet and sticky was running down my face. Of course it was blood. There would never be a time when I wouldn’t be covered in it.

Eren? 

“EREN!” I shot awake to find Levi standing over me, binding my hand in God knows what. “SHIT!” I was still half out of it.

“What, what happened?” He was trying to slow his breathing. He was on the verge of panic. My hand was bleeding? Why? I though he fixed it? Then I saw it. The clean white crisp covers were soaked in red. 

“I-I don’t know. My pants are soaked. Stitches must have gotten ripped out on my belt buckle.” He stuttered, applying pressure to the wound. 

“Calm down, Levi. It’s okay. Go get Hanji. She’ll know what to do.” Levi was trembling. For the split second that he released pressure on the wound and I took over, blood went everywhere. It made me lightheaded, but I kept up with holding it.

Levi threw on a shirt and ran out. I wondered for a second what Hanji will think of me being shirtless in Levi’s bed, but I didn’t really care at this point. Everyone was going to find   
out. Jean was going to give me hell for it. Endless hell. If I didn’t bleed to death. My skin did have a slightly white tinge to it. My fingers felt like they were losing grasp, but I did   
my best to keep the pressure up. 

Levi’s POV 

Where the fuck was everyone at. I looked at the clock in the lobby. 8pm. Of course it was dinnertime. I saw Armin wondering into the dinner hall. 

“Arlert!” He turned to me and his eyes got wide as he saw my blood covered clothes. “Go grab Hanji from the dinner hall for me.” He ran in and did so, both returning promptly. 

“What happened, Levi?!” Hanji asked as she began to look me over for wounds. Armin looked terrified. 

“Just grab a trauma kit and follow me. Eren ripped his stitches. Hurry!” I said as calmly as I could.” She grabbed one from the storage cabinet and started down the stairs.

“He’s in my room.” She furrowed her brow, but follow my lead as I ran up the stairs as quickly as I could, explaining how his hand must have gotten snagged on my belt buckle. 

They were both mortified as they walked into my room and saw the blood soak sheets. Eren was barely conscious. As soon as we stepped in, it was like the last bit of strength he had gave way and he let go, passing out completely. 

“He’s lost a lot of blood! Sit him up! Armin put pressure on that wound!” Hanji said as she tore open the kit. 

I climbed into bed and pulled him up into the setting position. He actually felt cold and it felt unsettling.

“Fuck Eren.” I leaned my head against his shoulder. 

“It would be nice if these self-inflicted wounds healed like his others.” Hanji said with a sigh. She began to clip away my old stitches, completely opening up the old wound. She applied an antiseptic and looked closely at the vein. “What! What a discovery!!!”

“Hanji cut the crap!” I said as I peered over Eren’s shoulder. I knew I had tears in my eyes. He was going pale. I just wanted him fixed. This was awful. I felt my heart shutter. I was doing everything in my power to hold the tears back. “Just fix him. Please. Don’t do any damn experiments. Just bring Eren back to me.” I pleaded quietly as I laced my fingers   
through the cold ones of his other hand.

“Levi? I-I of course! It’s just I found a sliver of tooth! It was blocking the vein! It must have raised his skin and the stitch slightly. That’s probably what caused the stitch to rip. I removed it. I’m beginning now!” Armin was silent, quietly handing her tools as she needed them. He began to stir about midway.

“Shit. It probably would have been better for him to stay out.” 

“Eren, we are fixing your hand still. Don’t move.” I pulled our hands apart and instead opted to tug him up closer against me with my arm around his waist. He groaned and leaned his head back. 

“Ouch.” I leaned our heads together. “Didn’t this already happen before?” 

“Unfortunately.” I said with a sigh.” He jerked as Hanji poked him in an extra sensitive spot. 

“Shit.” I could see the tears welling up in his eyes. Armin adjusted his hand and was rewarded with blood spurting everywhere.

“Armin! Steady!” All four of us were covered. The bedroom was covered. This was a living hell. I don’t know if it would ever come out. I’d have to throw the blankets away. I didn’t even know this much blood could come out of a person without them dying.

“His blood must be regenerating at a pace that’s barely enough to keep him alive. That’s why he’s so cold. But if we screw up and let out too much, we could still lose him.” Hanji said as she continued to sew. “Keep the pressure steady on the other side Armin.”

We could still lose him. We could still lose Eren. Holy shit. 

I leaned my face into the back of his head and breathed in his smell. His hair tickled my face, but I couldn’t really enjoy it in the seriousness of the moment. They were about ¾ of the way done, but the last ¼ was the worst. It was where the vein had ruptured. 

 

“Don’t die on me brat.” I whispered to him. I felt a couple of stray tears fall, and they got trapped in his hair. “Not after all that we made it through. We finally made it back.”

“Trying.” Was all he managed to get out, “So tired.” He leaned his head back against my shoulder, revealing my tear stained cheeks.

“Shit. I bet you all think I’m weak, huh?” Armin looked away and Hanji simply shook her head.

“Levi, you may be a soldier, but there’s nothing that says we aren’t allowed to develop feelings. I think it makes us connect better with one another.” Eren whimpered as Hanji   
continued to dig into his hand. He was out again. I felt him go limp against me. “And I don’t know what happened, but obviously it was something pretty special to make YOU   
develop feelings.” I simply nodded and breathed deeply. It’d only been a few weeks, but I couldn’t imagine my life without this kid in it. I felt like a stupid teenager. 

“The vein is fixed. I used dissolvable stitches. I just have to finish the top, but most of the bleeding has subsided.” She sewed up the rest of his hand and I eased him back down into bed. I looked at his peaceful face. He was extremely pale, but he was alive. I looked at the room next. It was going to take a miracle and some hard work to get it clean again. 

“Thank you Hanji. You have no idea. Thank you too, Armin.” I said softly. They both gave me a soft nod and Hanji handed me a sheet of paper with care directions for Eren’s wound. Stiches out in 10 days. No submerging in water. Keep gauze on for 24 hours. Hanji exited the room, leaving Armin behind.

“Do you need help cleaning this up?” he offered. I rubbed the back of my head. He knew just standing in the presence of this room was making me cringe. “Thanks. You can set with Eren, while I clean up if you’d like.” He nodded, and pulled over a chair from my desk. My clothes were already going to have to be thrown away, so I saw no point in changing to clean. I began scrubbing the table and floor around the bed. Meticulously getting all of Eren’s blood off of everything. I had to return several times with clean water.

“I appreciate everything Armin.” He smiled kindly and continued to watch over his friend. I finally got the floor, walls and table cleaned. Next my attention turned to the bed. Eren was still sleeping, though his expression was strained now. “I’ll be right back.” I returned the cleaning supplies to where they belonged, and after grabbing the Survey Corps issued linen (gross) I returned to the bedroom. I set the covers aside. I ran my hand across the bottom corner of my white comforter with a frown. Down comforters were hard to come by these days, and when you did find one, they were very expensive. Too bad this one was soaked in blood now. “Would you mind moving Eren over to the couch for a moment, I’m going to change the covers.” 

“M-Me? I’m not sure if I can lift him!” Armin said with wide eyes. 

“Sure you can, it’s just a few feet. You are strong Arlert. You are a soldier. He’s surprisingly light.” He hesitated for a few moments, until I began to pull the covers back off of Eren, revealing how badly they needed changed. He reluctantly lifted him up, and easily carried him over to the sofa next to the bed.

“Nice job, Arlert.” 

“A-Armin. What happened? Where’s Levi?” Eren was stirring again. I was relieved to hear his voice. 

“He’s changing the blankets. There was a bit of a mess. You know how big of a clean freak he is!” Armin joked. Eren giggled and his eyes fluttered shut again. 

“Nice joke, Armin.” I said with a smirk. He looked at the floor, avoiding my gaze. “But I can’t really say much. It’s true. I am a clean freak.” I began pulling the covers off of the bed, and it seemed the only thing that hadn’t been drenched were the pillows. The pillow cases had to go. I sighed again as I looked at the crumpled mess of my white linen on the   
floor.

“Captain, that’s not issued linen in the floor there is it?” Armin asked me intently? I frowned as I stared at it. 

“No, they were my personal linen. The comforter was down filled cotton. Sheets were cotton as well. High quality cotton though. Not that scratchy trash they have you guys sleep on. Go feel the corner if you want.” He wondered over to the bloody pile and ran a white corner through his fingers.

“Wow! So soft!”

“Yeah. I like to have high quality things in my personal area. Especially where I sleep. But now I have to use that trash.” I motioned towards the pile. “At least for the time being.   
But it wasn’t like it was Eren’s fault. We couldn’t have predicted it.” I began putting on the brown ugly sheets on my bed, loathing the feel as they slid through my fingers. “Could you go grab some pillow cases from the supply closet please?” He nodded and left the room to grab what I needed. I put the rest of the sheets and blankets on the bed. 

“Levi.” I looked up to see Eren staring at me, his bright green eyes were filled with hurt. 

“Are you gonna stay awake this time?” I walked over to him, and ran my fingers through his hair. 

“I’m sorry about everything. I didn’t mean to cause work for you.” I knelt down by his side and leaned our foreheads together. 

“It’s no big deal. I’m just glad you are okay. We are going linen shopping though. Another thing to add when I take you for that haircut.” I pressed our lips together, and simply stayed there for a moment, enjoying the fact that warmth had returned to him. 

“Ugh C-Captain, I” I looked over my shoulder to see Armin turning bright red behind us, holding pillowcases in his hand. Poor kid, he probably wasn’t ready to see this yet. I got to my feet and took the pillow cases from him and pulled him into the room over to Eren. 

“N-No I c-can leave really!”

“Eren. Armin here has been in here most of the evening. He helped put you back together and he helped me clean. He helped watch over you too. Be thankful for him. He’s a damn good friend.” I said as I pushed him towards Eren. Armin just smiled at Eren and Eren beamed back at him. I guess those two were going to come with him. I fell for a buy one, get two free deal. I could deal with Arlert. He was fine. It was Mikasa I knew I was going to have trouble with, considering she nearly broke my nose already.

“Thanks Armin. You have been a huge help.” Eren said as he grasped his hand. 

“No problem! Feel better! I’m going to head to bed, I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” Armin said with a smile and a wave, and with that, he left, shutting the door behind him.   
Eren put his hand up to his face and looked at it. Hanji’s stitches were a lot cleaner than mine, but for now they were hidden under a pillow of gauze. “So much blood. Levi, you know you are still covered right.” I nodded and looked down at my pants and shirt. I was tempted to throw the damn belt through the wall, it was what hurt Eren in the first place, but I took a deep breath and restrained myself. 

“Yeah, I wanted to clean up in here first. Did you want a shower?” I asked as I looked him over. He was covered as well. His own clothes were ruined. He nodded and rubbed his eyes. 

“Yes, but I’m not sure how stable I am. I’m assuming I lost a lot of blood.” I walked over to him, and had him raise his head up. He laid his head in my lap as I sat with him on the couch.

“Hanji said you probably would have died if you were a normal person. She said even with your regeneration abilities she was very surprised.” He closed his eyes and sighed heavily. I looked over him. There didn’t seem to be a part of his skin that wasn’t stained red. He still didn’t have a shirt on, and the goose bumps on his arms told me he was getting chilled. “Rest for a little while longer, and then we’ll see about a shower.” After a few minutes, Eren dozed off in my lap, small snores echoed throughout the room. A faint knock pounded on my door and I immediately went on guard.

“Who is it? It’s late!” I said as quietly as possible.

“Hanji!”

“Oh, come in.”

She entered and I put my finger to my lips, encouraging her to be quiet. She walked over and sat on the bed across from me. She had gotten to change. Lucky her. She smiled at the sight in front of her. 

“Just keep it down, he’s actually sleeping.” I said as I looked over at Eren.

“You haven’t showered yet? That’s surprising.” I grimaced and looked down at my clothes. “Well he fell asleep. I was waiting for him to feel well enough to shower. I was going to help him, so.”

“So you were putting his needs before your own?” She raised her eyebrow at me. “My my, Levi. What has this kid done to you?” 

“Shut up, four eyes.” I sneered. I adjusted my legs underneath him and felt the dried blood stick to me, it made me cringe. 

“It’s bothering you, but you still aren’t getting up. You can’t even stand to have your hands dirty in the field.”

“Did you come up here just to study me? Because if that’s the case, then you can get the hell out.” 

“I came up to check on Eren, but he seems to be in good hands. Just make sure you don’t submerge those stitches.” She stood and looked at the pile of bedding placed by the wall. “This too, Levi? You really are slipping.” 

“Oh yeah, Will you throw that away since you are up here. I do have my hands full after all. Since I’m so love struck and distracted.” I smirked. She sighed and gathered up the covers, exiting the room with piles of bloody covers. 

“Goodnight Levi!”

“Night Hanji.”

 

“Time for bed yet?” Eren grumbled. 

“No, if you wake up for a while we can take a shower though. Can you stand?” His eyes sleepily blinked awake and stared at me. The room had long turned dark now, he was only illuminated by candlelight and the moonlight coming through the windows. The light made his eyes sparkle. Simply amazing. I slowly helped him set up and he leaned against   
me. “Feeling okay?”

“Just tired. I’ll try and stand.” He leaned against me and we both got to our feet at the same time. He put his arm around my shoulders and yawned. He was so warm, and I barely realized how tall he actually was compared to me. Barely. He was pretty much leaning onto me. I sighed and he stumbled, falling against me. 

“Hey, careful. You sure you can do this?” He nodded and I helped him up. I grabbed some of my clothes out of the dresser and threw them over my shoulder. “Okay, I have a bathroom adjacent to my room, but there’s only a tub in it, so we’ll have to use the showers downstairs. We need to grab you some clean clothes anyways.” 

“Okay.” I sighed and looked him over. 

“Here, put this back on.” I helped him slip into his shirt from earlier and powdered sugar went everywhere. He giggled sleepily as it fell onto my newly cleaned floor. “You’re a pain in my ass Jaeger.”

“You are the one that threw that sugar on me.” He whispered into my ear as I loosely tied his shirt. I smiled and shook my head. He kissed my cheek and whispered a thank you.

“You are lucky I like you so damn much. Anyone else that would have ruined my floor twice in the same day would be dead.” He smiled sleepily and moved his lips from my cheek to my lips. “Okay, let’s go sleepy head. You are out of it.” He steadied against me again, and we walked down the steps, stopping by his room on the way to the shower. Just as I had thought, it was dusty and gross, but surprisingly tidy. He had cleaned it before he left. I let him lean against the doorway as I pulled out some clean clothes from his trunk.   
Damn this room was tiny. They more or less stuck him in a supply closet. We shut the door as we left and headed for the showers. He was still leaning on me, with his arm wrapped around my shoulders, but his head was leaned against mine now. The hallways were abandoned as of right now, but who said they were going to stay that way.

“Eren, do you want the whole Survey Corps to find out right this second or do you want to think on it? One slip up and they could all know.” I whispered calmly. “I could care less of course, I’m just trying to think about your best interests and how you want to break the news later on.”

“I don’t care. Just wanna be with you.” He stuttered sleepily, trying to nibble at my neck. I smirked and continued to walk forward. 

“You are absolutely out of it, Jaeger. Do you usually get like this when you are tired? This may come in handy later for me.” I said with a grin.

“Like what?” he said into my neck as we walked lazily forward.

“We are here, Casanova.” We turned into the locker area, and luckily found it abandoned. This was going to be interesting considering Eren’s current state. I laid out our clean clothes on the bench and began stripping Eren, which was still quite a task, considering my fingers didn’t quite work on my other hand. 

“I’ll help. Here.” I held onto him, keeping him stable as he pulled his shirt over his head. He stumbled a bit, but he was upright for the most part. He unbuttoned my shirt for me as I held him still. “Your hands feel nice there.” My eyes met his and I grinned. I liked this Eren. He was completely different from the embarrassed kid that I had grown to love. He barely had a tinge of pink across his cheeks. If I had to say, I’d probably have more. I pulled him a little closer and ran my hand across his lower back. He sighed and suddenly got light headed, accidentally falling against me. We tripped and fell against the lockers, Eren was up against me, breathing heavy. “Sorry.” He said as he brought our lips together. So much for discretion of our relationship. If someone walked in, we were fucked. Oh well. I slid my arm back around his lower back and pulled him close again. He brought his hands up off the lockers long enough to let my shirt fall the rest of the way to the floor. 

He pressed his chest against mine, and I could feel his heart beating against mine. He was alive. He was warm. I’d almost lost him how many times now? “Fuck Eren.” I whispered as I broke away from the kiss for a moment. He drew his face back from mine. His lust filled eyes were questioning me now. “Just…don’t die on me. Okay?” I whispered as I brought our lips together again, deeper this time. He pulled back a few moments later to catch his breath. 

“I’ll try harder, I promise.” He began working on my pants now, and as soon as I could get my thoughts together, both of out pants were off and we were left in our boxers. I was still pressed up against the lockers, and I still had my arm around his lower back. My other arm hung almost lifelessly at my side. Eren’s injured hand was pressed up against the locker, along with the rest of his weight against me, and his other hand was switching from playing in my hair to caressing my face. He was kissing me hungrily now. We were starving for each other. Both of our faces had become red and our breathing was heavy.

“Ummm should I come back later?” I heard a familiar voice say. Shit. Well there went the waiting until the right moment in our plan. I peaked over Eren’s shoulder and Eren turned at the same time to see Jean staring us down. I shot him a death glare. “Oh shit! I’ll ugh…I’ll just go.” He slung his towel over his shoulder and ran off. Eren dropped his gaze to the floor and I moved my hand to his face, guiding our lips gently back together. 

“Did I tell you to stop?” I said with a smile. 

“No, but now everyone will know.” He was coming around now. His sleepiness must’ve been shaken off from Jean startling us. 

“And? Now we won’t have to worry about it. I can do whatever I want to you, whenever I want to you know.” His eyes got wide and he buried his face in my neck. Yulp, definitely back to the Eren from before. I sighed. “I like it when you are sleepy and horny. You do nice things to me.” I whispered in his ear. 

“Levi, I-I tried.” He mumbled into my neck. 

“I enjoyed it. But let’s move into the shower before anyone else sees, huh?” He nodded and pulled his crimson face back from my neck. We pulled our underwear off and added it to the pile. He wrapped his arm around me and I grabbed a bar of soap and a washcloth as we entered the showers. I opted for a large stall with a curtain for the both of us to share this time. 

I sighed as I turned the water on and it started to hit my back. I held out my arm so it wouldn’t get soaked and watched as dried blood rehydrated, and turned red and began running down the drain. Eren was just standing there, leaned against me for stability. He was probably embarrassed that his erection hadn’t gone away from earlier. Couldn’t say mine had either. I could see the little wheels turning in his head. The next thing I knew I was pressed up against the shower wall, and his mouth was on my neck sucking and kissing up to my jaw.

“Eren-“

“Don’t. Don’t say anything or I might die. Please.” I smiled and just wrapped my arm around his waist again, keeping my other arm away from the water. I could feel his erection pressing into me, and I leaned my head against the arm supporting our weight against the wall. I felt his other hand on my chest, rubbing in circles. He accidentally brushed over my nipple and I let out a moan. He pulled back and his hungry eyes met my hazy lust filled ones. He did it again with the same reaction.

“Damn it, Eren. OH!” His mouth found my right nipple and I cried out, my knees nearly buckling. My hand was in his hair, clawing at it mindlessly. “I-I Eren!” I arched against him, pressing my hard on into him. His eyes were stunning. They were almost illuminated. He ran his hand down my chest, down my abs, all the way down to my yearning hard on and gave it a squeeze. My knees buckled and we ended up on the shower floor. He pushed us just far enough away that my cast wouldn’t get soaked. He was on top of me, still sucking, and still pumping. My hand found his cock as well and I gave it a few good strokes. I wanted more. I was hungry for him.

“Eren, let me suck you.” I saw a glimpse of fear for a moment, but his lust quickly returned right after. 

“Only if I can do the same to you Levi.” My stomach dropped. What was with this kid? Why did he want to please me so damn bad? Our faces crashed together again, and in between pants and breaths we finally pulled apart. 

“Fine, I’ll teach you. Watch closely. And watch what you do with your teeth, nothing is worse than getting nipped.” I said as I rolled him over. He watched intently as I gave his cock a light lick before taking it into my mouth, sucking hard. He moaned, but he kept his eyes open and watched everything I did. I began to bob my head, and he got the message. 

“L-Levi!” He watched as I went all the way down to the base, and all the way back up. “C-Can’t. Don’t think I’m going to... Wait! What do you?!” I did it again, sucking harder.   
“AGGHHHH!” He came hard and I swallowed every last drop. He went silent for a moment, and then proceeded to flip me over onto my back, careful not to get my cast wet.   
“S-So you s-swallow it?” He asked quietly. I smirked as ran my fingers through his hair. 

“If you are up for it. You can swallow it, spit it out, not catch it at all, whatever. That last one is kind of a letdown to be truthful though. Or you can even let it go all over that pretty little face of yours.” His eyes got wide and he pressed a kiss to my lips. “Just take your time, don’t rush, don’t freak out.” He nodded and slid down to my own aching erection, and before I knew it, his lips were around it. I cried out his name and my hand went to his hair, startling him slightly. He sucked on the head just as I had done, but he continued it for a while longer, getting used to the unfamiliar feeling. I caressed his hair, which was now soaked from the water pouring over us.

“Fuck, Eren. Please. Go Down.” I begged. He obliged and slid my cock the rest of the way down his throat, ALL the way down. “HOLY SHIT!” I shuttered and struggled to keep my hips in place. Did his gag reflex even exist? He began to bob his head up and down, deep throating me each time. Nope, no way he had one. “Fuck, Fuck, EREN.” He was sucking hard, running his fingers over my balls at the same time. I cried out and yanked his hair tight as I came deep in his throat. He swallowed every last bit of it, and licked his lips as he sat up. Where did this kid come from?

“I didn’t teach you that.” He looked away.

“Some of the guys in the barracks had mentioned it. Sorry…”

“Don’t fucking apologize for that. Come here.” I gave him a kiss looked into his eyes. “It was amazing.” He was practically beaming. After taking a few minutes to bask in our post-orgasm bliss, we helped each other stand. He carefully washed me, leaning against me as he did so. He must’ve still been feeling light headed. I washed him as well, and carefully washed the area around his stitches, being sure not to get them wet. “There, all clean.” 

We dried off and got dressed. After sorting through which clothes were to be thrown away and which clothes we could keep, we trashed the bad ones and took the others with us. We silently headed back upstairs, Eren still cautiously leaning on me as we did so. I opened the door to my bedroom and shut it behind us after we were both inside. The moon had moved while we were downstairs, leaving the room quite a bit darker than before.

“Like I said, there’s a bathroom straight through that door.” I motioned to the other side of the room. Eren nodded and I walked over to the side of the bed he had been laying in before. We both sat down on the edge of the bed. “So you are really okay with this?” I asked him, as I looked at the floor. Speckles of powdered sugar sparkled in the candlelight. 

“With what?” He asked as he looked at me.

“Being in here with me? Being WITH me.” I said with a frown. I felt him scoot closer and he laced our fingers together. 

“I could have left a long time ago if I didn’t want to be with you, Levi. We were freed this morning and I have no intentions of leaving.” I felt that unfamiliar twitch at my mouth again and I smiled at him. He captured my lips again and my stomach tied itself in knots. Damn brat. How could he do this to me? 

I kicked off my shoes and climbed into bed, grimacing as I felt the unfamiliar covers against my skin. Eren kicked off his shoes also, but he didn’t notice the blankets. They felt normal to him.

“I’m sorry about your blankets earlier, Levi.” He whispered as he wrapped his arms around me.

“It’s fine, we’ll go shopping once you feel better. I’ll buy something you like as well since you’ll be sleeping in here. Might as well turn that damn “room” of yours back into a broom closet. Why didn’t you tell me they stuffed you in there? Also there’s nothing sharp in the bed now right? No buckles? I don’t want your stitches getting ripped open again.”

“I felt bad for causing everyone else trouble for losing sleep.” He said with a frown. “And no, no buckles. So wait, I’m staying with you now?” he asked as he rested his head on my shoulder and yawned.

“Only if you want to. I don’t see the point in you staying in that shitty room. We can move your stuff up in the next couple of days. If you don’t want to I understand. We can slow down.”

“No! No! I just, want to make sure it’s okay.” I nodded and laced our fingers together.

“Yeah, it’s fine. Now get some rest. Your sister will skin me alive if you aren’t bright-eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow for lunch at least.” I said before giving him one last kiss. 

“Mhmm, night Levi.”

“Night, Eren.”


	12. Side Story: Late Night Snooping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean tries to stir up trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are just my random side stories :3 Just because they make it interesting. Ha xoxo They are short, but oh well <3

Armin’s POV

“Connie, Connie! Wake up!” I heard voices in the barracks as I laid there and tried to sleep. I was worried about Eren. He was in good hands with the Captain, but I was still worried.

“Jean, it’s 12:30, why are you up?” Connie and Jean were jabbering about some kind of late night gossip. 

“You’ll never believe what I just saw! I went to take a shower and-“

“I don’t want to hear about your craps again Jean!”

“No, Connie! I saw Jaeger! He had the Captain up against the lockers. They were making out!” Ugh Oh! You almost bled out not 4 hours ago Eren, control your damn hormones!

“No way, I don’t believe you!” Connie said as he tried to roll over and go back to sleep. 

“I swear! Levi was even down to his damn underwear! They both had their shirts off!” 

“I want cold hard proof or its all hearsay!” 

“It was weird, Eren’s pants were all, like bloody. Come on, let’s go down and look. I’ll show you. I’m sure there a drop of blood down there.”

I rubbed my eyes. Way to go guys. Now the whole Survey Corps will know. It’s not like Captain Levi exactly tried to keep it quiet in front of us anyways though. My mind played back to the bedroom upstairs when I delivered the pillowcases. Levi was knelt down in front of Eren and he was playing with his hair.

It’s no big deal. I’m just glad you are okay.

I rubbed my eyes again. Who knew the Captain could actually be caring. He was really nice to Eren. I needed to stop Jean before he started spreading rumors that went too far. I   
slipped on my shoes and walked downstairs towards the shower area. 

“Oh look! I bet Armin knows!” Jean held up Levi’s bloody pants that he dug out of the trash in the locker room. 

“Go back to bed guys that stuff was thrown away for a reason.” I said with a frown.

“Probably because it has cum all over it!”

“It has blood all over it. Eren ripped his stitches out earlier this evening and we had to sew him back up. He pretty much tore out a vein.” Jean threw the pants into the garbage.

“Well answer this for me then Armin, why did your best friend have Captain Levi pressed up against the lockers making out with him? I bet he’s fucking the Captain to rise in the ranks faster!”

“Actually, they are dating. But, Jean, that’s none of your business.” His mouth dropped open and Connie began to stutter.

“They care a lot about each other. And that means a damn lot in this world where it’s hard to trust anyone. You never know how long the person you love will be alive for in this world!” They both remained silent. “So if you have any more questions, I suggest you ask the Captain or Eren yourself and stop snooping in their business. God forbid Mikasa finds out what you are doing!” Jean turned red and I turned away and headed back to bed. Hopefully that limited the damage at least.


	13. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens on the porch doesn't stay on the porch! Also, Jean finally pisses Levi off ;)

Eren’s POV 

I opened my eyes to see light shining into the room. Levi was still resting peacefully against me, breathing calmly. I wondered just hard it truly was for it for the Captain to let his guard down like this. His hair had fallen down across his forehead and across his eyes. I wasn’t the only one that needed a haircut, but I have to admit, I didn’t mind it a little longer. I brushed his hair away from his eyes, and he popped and eye open, looking at me sleepily.

“Do you usually watch people sleep, Jaeger?” I went to pull my hand back and he grabbed it, planting it firmly in his hair. “Leave it. I didn’t say I minded.” He shut his eyes again, and scooted closer to me, leaning his head onto my shoulder. He sighed softly as I ran my fingers through his hair. I looked over at the clock on the wall. It was 11:30. 

“Didn’t you say you wanted to make it down for lunch? Something about Mikasa kicking your ass?” He grunted and peeked up at me. 

“I’d almost be willing to take her on to stay in bed with you all day. So warm.” I continued to play with his hair, he felt so strong against me. I could feel every muscle. He was right, it was really nice to have the body heat of someone you lov-felt very strongly about to keep you warm. My heart tugged at my chest. Had I really thought that just now?   
Surely not. I looked at the smaller man curled up against me. I was still young, I didn’t even know what love was. My heart hurt. My head was spinning, way too many thoughts at once. Maybe I could catch Armin at lunch later and talk to him about it. Or at least talk to him about it before I went away with him to training. 

“You alright, Eren? You went quiet. We can go down, I better not piss your sister off any more than I already have.” He groaned and looked up at me. I nodded and brushed his hair away from his face. 

“Yeah, I’m just not willing to get out of bed with you still in it. It’s too warm. You first.”

“You are bossy this morning.” He scoffed as he reluctantly rolled out of bed. I heard his feet hit the floor. “Cold, cold, cold!” He slipped his shoes on and the next thing I knew he was tugging at my arm. “Come on, your turn.” I never thought I’d have Levi trying to pull me out of bed. He looked rested for once, and his hair was messy. I smiled and took his hand, letting him pull me forward. I slid my shoes on as well and waited as he disappeared into the bathroom. He reappeared with his hair neatly combed, and the wrinkles were pushed out of his clothes. Sure he had his quirks, but didn’t everyone? I went to turn the handle for the door and I felt his hands on my back. I looked over my shoulder to see him relentlessly waging war on the wrinkles in my clothes. I smiled and stepped back from the door letting him go to work. He looked at me funny.

“You are just going to stand there and let me do it?” he asked doubtfully.

“Why wouldn’t I? If it makes you happy, I’ll do anything.” He looked puzzled for a moment, then started working on the wrinkles, flattening them out as best as he could with his fingers. It took him a few minutes, but he was finally satisfied. 

“That’s the best I can do without ironing them.” I nodded and smiled at my nice smooth clothes.

“Thanks!” His eyes lit up and he nodded, then we walked down to lunch together. 

Lunch was an awkward situation. I had completely forgotten about Jean walking in on us last night, and how he was making faces at me across the table. I proceeded to glare at him. Horse face wasn’t even worth my time. I looked away to Mikasa who was staring intently at my hand, wrapped in a fresh bundle of bandages. Armin hadn’t said a word since we had walked downstairs together, he was just staring mindlessly at his food, picking at it. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you hurt your hand again?” She asked quietly as she ran her hand gently over the bandages.

“Everything just happened so fast, plus we didn’t want to worry you. I apologize. I promise next time I’ll tell you.” She nodded and pulled her hand back. I glanced over at Levi. He was slowly sipping on his tea. After I finished up I went to take my plate to the kitchen and Jean rammed me into the wall by ‘accident’ 

“Oops, better go have the Captain kiss your boo boo Jaeger. Oh wait, I might have hit you above the shoulder, he may not be able to reach that far.” He said snidely. My plate hit the ground and the next thing I knew, my fist connected with his jaw. I sent him flying to the ground and the few remaining people in the dining hall turned to look at me, I was about to start pounding on him, but I felt a hand grab my fist.

“Stop. You’ll rip your stitches.” I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and turned to see Hanji behind me. 

“Surely you weren’t picking a fight with Eren here, were you Jean?” Hanji said as she lifted Jean to his feet. Glass crunched under our feet. I could feel Levi’s eyes on me. I knew he was watching. “I wouldn’t want to write either of you up, so how about you both shake hands and go on your separate ways?”

“But!”

“Eren! Do as I say.” She scolded. I glared at him as I did it, but I shook his damn hand, and grabbed a broom, sweeping up my mess as I did so. I trashed the remnants of the plate, and stepped outside into the winter breeze, leaning onto the banister. It was cold outside, and it had snowed quite a bit last night. Hanji and a few of the others had walked out of the building and were heading towards the small forest behind our building with an axe in tow, talking about finding the “perfect tree.” No way was it December already. My hand was aching. I really had punched Jean hard. I stuck it down in the snow with a sigh. I heard the door creak open behind me. 

“You aren’t supposed to get that wet you know.” I stayed silent and continued looking out over the trees. I heard Levi sigh and he pulled my hand out of the pile of snow on the banister. “You really are a hard headed brat sometimes Jaeger. What did he say to you?” I looked down at a squirrel hopping happily across the snow and up a tree. “He made a short joke about you.” I muttered. 

“You punched him over me?” Levi asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, he pissed me off. Jean’s an ass 98% of the time.” I felt his arm snake around my waist and he rested his head on my shoulder. He really wasn’t that short. If he was he wouldn’t be able to even reach my shoulder like that.

“That was sweet. Just be careful next time. Think first.” I then realized we were on the front fucking porch of the survey corps building and Levi’s arm was around me. We were pretty much away from center of town, but a scout could walk by at any minute. My stomach sank and I felt red creeping up my neck. I was nervous. Not so nervous about people finding out about us, but about people giving us a hard time about our relationship together. 

“Hey Levi, What’s the date?” I could feel my fingers trembling, and I needed a ground, so I laced them together with the hand that was around my waist.

“December 16th I believe. We had a late season this year.” His breath twisted around me as he spoke and I leaned back against him as I heard the door open. 

“Are you two coming back inside, people will notice you through the window if you aren’t careful.” Mikasa stated blankly. Levi sighed and tried to move away, but I stopped him. 

“We’ll come in later, Mikasa. We’re fine.” I could feel her eyes on me again, practically staring a hole in my skull behind me, but I didn’t care. “We’ll catch up later, I promise!” I heard the door shut behind her and Levi drew closer to me, pressing a warm kiss to my neck.

“You sure about this? We are setting ourselves up to be found out, out here. I doubt anyone believes horse-face as it is Eren, so we can go inside if you like.” I let out a small chuckle as he used my nickname for him. 

“I’m sure, if you are okay with it.”

“Only if you turn around. I want to at least look at your face if I’m going to stand here and freeze my ass off with you.” I smiled and spun around against him and he pressed me up against the banister, making loose snow fall in my hair. He brushed it away and captured my lips in a warm kiss. His arm was still around me, and I had one around him as well. The other hand was actually mingling with the fingers on his cast-bound arm for once. He had a little more movement than before, and it was nice to be able to touch them.  
We pulled apart, but stayed close together, so it would be obvious if someone walked by. I still wanted to throw up from nerves, but I felt in my heart it was right. 

“So I guess 13 days from now we will be leaving for training?” Levi nodded and placed a kiss on my neck, making me shiver. 

“Mhmmm. Just you and me. I’ve been thinking about so many things Eren. Believe me. Hopefully you are well rested.” He said with a smirk. I blushed hard and began counting in my head. 

“That’ll be December 29th! We’ll be here for Christmas!” Levi lifted his eyebrow and snorted at me. 

“Are you excited about scouting legion holiday cheer or something? I don’t have much of it. That’s more of Hanji’s thing, but whatever gets you going.”

“I’ve just always spent it with Mikasa and Armin since-“ I looked down at the snow covered floorboards of the porch under our feet and pictured my mother being swallowed.   
“S-Since my mother. You know.” He pulled me closer to him and placed his lips nearly against my ear.

“I know Eren. You’ve probably had some miserable Christmases. I have too. But this will be our first together. It’s not really my thing, but I’ll try my damn best for you.” I smiled and hugged him tightly. My Levi. I really was going to have to talk to Armin about all these feelings. Our eyes met and he softly brought our lips together, kissing me slowly and passionately. How many different combinations of Levi’s kisses were there? We heard a strange dragging sound but only broke away from each other as it was right up on us. 

“Go Go GO! Right through the door with that perfect tree!” Hanji said as she pointed forward. Several scouts stared oddly at us as they passed dragging the heavy tree, and if my face wasn’t deep red before, it now was. Levi just pulled me closer as more people began to pass, preparing for the decorating.

“Wasn’t so bad, huh?” I shook my head and he smiled and rewarded me with another kiss. “I guess we are official then Jaeger.” He whispered against my lips. It made my knees weak. Before we knew what was going on we were being yanked inside and plopped in front of the tree. Hanji handed us each a bowl of popcorn and a needle and thread. 

“Didn’t you notice what a shitty job I did on Eren’s hand?” Levi stated bluntly. 

“Oh come on Levi! You can string some damn popcorn, be part of the fun for once!” He sighed and looked into the bowl. There were a bunch of people around the common area, securing the tree into place and moving furniture around. He smirked and looked at me. He was coming up with a devious plan. I knew it.

“Only if you make Eren agree to my demands.” He said bluntly. He whispered in Hanji’s ear and she began beaming, and sat Levi down in the corner, mostly away from everyone. I was puzzled. 

“Eren, he told me to make you sit on his lap while you string popcorn together! How cute!” 

“WHAT?!” I almost dropped my bowl. Levi was grinning in the corner. I was going to die. Right then and there. I wasn’t going to ever get to kill another titan. She began tugging me towards Levi. 

“You see he doesn’t participate much. So… COME ON EREN.” She practically flung me on top of him.

“Hanji-san!” I stumbled and landed right on Levi’s lap. A few stray kernels of popcorn flew out of my bowl. He caught me easily and wrapped his arm around me. My neck was burning from embarrassment and I could tell Levi loved it. A few of the other scouts in the room were eyeing us strangely, but they soon got back in the holiday spirit and got back on task with their decorating. 

“Obviously it’s a pain in my ass to string this stuff, so I’ll let you work on it. I’ll sit here with you and talk though. Maybe nibble on your neck every now and then. Keep you motivated.” He whispered in my ear. My eyes got wide and I poked my finger. 

“Ouch!” Levi grabbed my finger and stuck it in his mouth. Yulp. I was just going to vanish right there. I was just going to skip the dying part and go straight from embarrassment into nothingness. 

“Careful, you aren’t a holiday pin cushion.” He let go of my hand and I began stringing again, with shaking fingers. I heard a crunch behind me.

“Are you really eating the popcorn?!” He smirked and popped another kernel in his mouth with a smile.

“Eren! Wow! You guys are down here too!” Armin and Mikasa sat down on the floor beside us with a box of lime green ornaments, some paint, brushes, and a list. “I didn’t expect that!” Armin was blushing. I could tell he REALLY didn’t expect to see us sitting like this. 

“I was tricked into sitting like this by Hanji and Levi.” Levi shrugged and popped another kernel into his mouth. “Stop eating it all!”

“You are cute when you are mad brat.” I froze. My face was a whole new level of red. Armin bust out laughing and Mikasa stayed her calm self. He pushed the bowl towards Armin and Mikasa. “Want some? I’m sure we can always pop more.” He said with a chuckle. That sound. It set my heart on fire. I felt it vibrate through my body and I wanted to hear it forever. Armin grabbed a handful and began happily munching away as he and Mikasa started painting the names of all the scouts on the ornaments. 

“Would you guys like some eggnog?” Sasha asked as she offered everyone some from a tray. I grabbed Levi and myself and mug, as did Armin. Mikasa politely turned the offer down.

“I can’t believe she didn’t drink them all.” Levi said before we all took a drink. It was delicious! And it happened to have a bite at the end. “What the hell did she put in this?” I continued to string the popcorn and finally got through a whole bowl. My string of garland was carried off and put on the tree and another fresh bowl of popcorn was brought to me (since Levi and Armin had finished off the other bowl). I downed the last of my eggnog about the same time as Armin and Levi, and Sasha came around with refills. Was it me or was Armin’s face unusually pink?

I took another drink and began my next string, and just like before rammed the needle right into my finger. “Shit!” Levi grabbed my finger again and placed it in his mouth just like before.

“What did I say before?” he said once he let go of my hand. He face felt hot against my neck. 

“I’m not a pin cushion.” 

“Exactly.” He said as he kissed my cheek.

“Look! Look Connie! I wasn’t making shit up! See! Look at the two faggots sitting there. Disgusting.” Jean said as he pointed at us. I felt Levi’s hand grip against my shirt he nudged me. 

“Scoot over Eren. Let me up.” I carefully moved over and allowed Levi to stand. The expression on Levi’s face had switched in a split second from sweet to sour. Jean was frowning now, and he almost looked terrified as Levi walked calmly towards him. Levi grabbed a hold of his shirt and pushed him up against the wall.

“Levi!” Hanji said.

“Stay Out Of It!” She stepped back, knowing better than to mess with a pissed off Levi. “Surely Kirstein, you wouldn’t be calling someone I care about disgusting would you?” He tightened his grip of his shirt so hard that he lifted him up the wall. Jean was dangling off of the ground. “Do you realize how dangerous I am idiot? Do you know how many titans I’ve killed? Nearly more than the whole Survey Corps put together!” He shoved him against the wall as he said that. “And I’ve taken lives before when I lived underground, you horse-faced moron! One more wouldn’t be a damn burden on my shoulders!” he growled. He moved his hand from Jean’s shirt to his neck, he choked him for a few seconds before letting him fall. 

“Holy-Shit! Are you insane?!” Jean cursed at him as he tried to regain his breath. 

“Do you really think I could command the Survey Corps if I wasn’t?” He stood there towering over Jean as he gasped for breath. He may have been substantially shorter than him, but at that moment, he seemed like a titan. “One more fuck up and you are out Kirstein. I will take a single word of disrespect towards me as treason and have you thrown out! Straighten up!” Levi turned his back to Jean and walked back over to me, plopping down beside me with a sigh. 

“What a waste of time. Worthless dipshit.” Levi cursed as he took another sip of eggnog. The festivities picked back up as soon as they had dropped off, and soon we were finally done. I did actually end up being a pin cushion, but I think that was the eggnog’s fault. Levi’s cheeks were red as he downed the rest of his eggnog. My cup had long been empty and Armin was asleep on the floor. Mikasa had finally finished the ornaments and delivered them to the other scouts to be hung. 

“You smell like alcohol, Eren.” 

“That’s your own breath.” I breathed. The room was hot. Or was it me. Maybe it was just my clothes?

“Bed?” 

“Mhmmm.” Why were words so hard to form? I tried to stand and stumbled against Levi. He grabbed me and we both fell against the wall. Obviously he wasn’t too steady either. 

“Popcorn?”

“Just leave it.” He tugged on my hand and we stumbled to the stairway. Had it always been that far away. I tripped going up even the first step. “Fuck Eren, have you never drank before?” I shook my head and leaned against him. Somehow we managed to get up the steps. He was holding me close and he smelled so good.

“You smell nice, Levi.” 

“Thanks, but that’s not really important Eren.”

“The hell it’s not! It’s part of yoouuu! You are important! Especially to me.” My head was spinning. He smiled and encouraged me to keep walking.

“Okay, okay. Let’s go to bed.” He managed to get us through the bedroom doors and shut them behind us. 

“Levi, I’m hot.” I whined as he sat me down on the bed. He stumbled over to the window and cracked it open.

“Better?”

“No, too much clothes.” He sighed and stumbled back to me. He helped me with my shoes and slipped my shirt over my head. “Yours too.” I yanked his shirt up over his head and slung it across the room. We crawled into bed together and wrapped our arms around each other. Both of our minds were foggy from all of the eggnog and sleep was just calling our names. 

“Night Levi.” He was already out, breathing heavily against me. “I think I may love you.” I added to the end.” Before I lazily rested my fingers in his hair and found my own sleep.


	14. Side Story: Business or Pleasure?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi visits Hanji for a little advice ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just felt like adding this as a little side story on it's own. Ha <3

Levi’s POV

I walked out onto the research field to see Hanji scribbling some notes down. It was cold, but this was important and she really was the only one I could talk to.

“Levi! Welcome! Business or Pleasure?” she said with a smile.

“Pleasure. I’ve got questions that need answered.” I said seriously.

“Well lets go inside and-“

“No. We need to stay out here.” I leaned up against a tree. “It’s a private matter. I don’t want people overhearing.” She simply nodded and kept scribbling in her notepad. “If you   
don’t mind helping with my love life of course.”

“Of course not! What’s up?!” I let out a heavy sigh and looked out over the mountains.

“I feel different somehow. Like…I don’t know. Like the relationship has somehow shifted?”

“How so?”

“It’s not so much about infatuation anymore. It scares me. Usually that’s when people break it off with me.” I kicked at a rock on the ground. 

“Hmmm…not about infatuation? So what’s it about then, Levi? Are you developing deeper feelings for Eren?” I squirmed at the question a bit and paused for a long while even   
though I knew the answer. I pictured those bright green eyes as I watched Hanji scribble. He’d been through so much. I really had to be careful with him. I sighed deeply and   
kicked the rock away.

“Yes. I already have developed feelings for him.”

“Do you think they will be reciprocated?” She asked as she looked up from her notebook. 

“It seems that way, but I’m not sure. When he titan-shifts it throws his emotions all out of whack, so I’m not really sure what he’s actually feeling.” I sighed and ran my fingers   
through my hair. “This is bullshit.” I decided on kicking the tree instead. “Why can’t it just be simple? Nothing in my life can be normal.”

“I would just give him some time, Levi. Let him decide and sort things out.” I began banging my head against the tree. “This. Fucking. Sucks. Emotions. Suck.”

“Welcome to being human. But hey, there’s nothing that says you can’t convince him to fall in love with you!” she said with a wink. “Want to help me with my experiments while you are out here?”

“Not really…”


	15. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren go out to town to run errands, and quite a few other things happen ;) They have their first mini-argument! o.o The story progresses!

Two Days Later 

Levi’s POV

Eren was still asleep. For some reason the last few nights, our nightmares had returned with a vengeance. I was up at 5 AM this morning, getting ready for our trip into town. It was now 8 AM, and thankfully somehow Eren had managed to find some calm sleep the last hour or so, so I refused to wake him. I was ironing everything in the room to keep busy as I waited for him to wake. He shot straight up in bed and I walked over to him.

“Again?” he nodded and put his hand over his mouth. He wanted to scream, but he couldn’t. I knew the feeling. I gave him a hug and kissed his cheek. He rubbed his sleepy eyes and decided to go ahead and get out of bed. The oh so familiar feeling of defeat. The bed could either be our friend or our enemy. “I ironed your clothes.”

“Which ones?” He asked sleepily as he walked towards the bathroom. 

“All of them.” 

“What do you mean, all of them?!” He washed his hands and opened his dresser drawer to find ever single piece of clothing ironed and put away neatly. 

“Even my underwear?!” He asked doubtingly as he pulled out a perfectly folded pair.

“I had a rough night too. I’ve been up since 5.” His eyes went wide and he neatly folded them back and placed them in the drawer and walked over to me. 

“You had nightmares too?” I nodded and rubbed at my tired eyes. “I’m sorry, Levi.” 

 

Eren’s POV

“There’s nothing to apologize for. Go get dressed, let’s go eat and run our errands. Then maybe we can come back and try to sleep it off?” I nodded and threw on my neatly ironed clothes. After brushing my teeth, we were ready to go. We took our cloaks down with us (newly re-issued since we got back).  
We quickly ate our breakfast and started into town. The snow crunched beneath our feet and the flurries bounced off our cloaks as we walked. You could hear all of the people already. Christmas was so close, so no wonder it was busy. 

“Hey, Levi. After we do our main shopping, can we break for a while? I want to get your gift.” 

“You don’t have to buy me anything, brat. But sure. If that’s what you want. Let’s get our list out of the way.” Of course he had a list, would it be like Levi to not have one?

“What’s on the list?” He pulled it out of his pocket.

“Candles, soap, sponges, linen, haircut.” I sighed. Such a Levi-like list. I guess I didn’t really expect sky-diving on it. “So linen I guess we need to get before we go back, since it’ll be bulky? We’ll have to carry it together if you don’t mind. Why don’t we tackle that hair first?” He ran his fingers through my hair and I shuttered. I was getting used to PDA, but it was strange for him to do it in the middle of town. I nodded and followed him to his barber. He shoved his list in his pocket as he did so, there was writing on the back, but I couldn’t catch what it said.

The bell rang as we stepped into the tiny shop. 

“Ah, Levi! Haven’t seen you in a while!” 

“Sorry, I’ve been away. I’ve brought someone. Hopefully you can fix his hair, he had a titan eat it. I’ll take my usual too of course.”

“Sure! Welcome, Welcome! Sit down young man! I assume you don’t want the same cut as Levi here though?” 

“No thanks! Just something like what I had before, if you can even tell from what’s left.” He put the cover around me and looked at my hair for a moment with Levi standing beside him.

“Well kid, bad news, this particular chunk here is deep. It’ll look funny if I try to match it to the rest. I’m just going to have to trim it down rather short.” Levi ran his fingers through my hair ‘one last time’ before he started snipping away. I sighed as I watched my hair fall to the floor. About 15 minutes later he was done. He cleaned me up and spun me around so I could see. I didn’t even look like myself. I thanked him kindly and before I could reach him the money, Levi told him to just add it to his bill. He quickly clipped Levi’s hair, trimming the length and shaving underneath as usual. Levi paid for both of us and thanked his barber kindly and he pulled me into an ally as soon as we left. 

“Wipe that damn frown off you face, or I’ll force it off.” He said as he captured my lips forcefully. He went to run his fingers through my hair, but realized he couldn’t, so he opted for holding onto the back of my neck and rubbing the bottom of my head as he kissed me. We pulled apart and I buried my head in his neck.

“I look weird, don’t I?” He put his arm on my shoulder and pushed me back looking me over.

“I think…if it were up to me. I’d have you right here on this wall. But you are too embarrassed for that.” My face went red.

“Levi!”

“You wanted my honest opinion! I think you look fine. Its hair, it’ll grow back. I’ll still rub your head. I don’t stare at your hair, Eren. I stare at your eyes to be truthfully honest. That’s what grabs my attention. I’m still going to kiss you the same, and I’m not going to look at you any different.” He pushed me back against the wall and kissed me again, pouring all of his emotion into the kiss. I was breathing heavy and my face was red, but I was looking around. It was the middle of the day and we were making out in and alleyway in the center of town! “So?”

“So what?”

“Can I have you on this wall?”

“NO! It’s the middle of the day!”

“Damn.” He said with a smirk. He kissed me again and un-pinned me from the wall. “I guess it’s onto the next stop then, since you are no fun.” I wiped my mouth and followed him into a larger store this time. 

“Hello, how are you gentlemen!” We nodded, and I grabbed a basket. Levi went straight to the cleaning supplies. He grabbed the sponges he wanted and several different types of cleaning agents. He handed them to me and I dropped them in the basket. The same went with the regular candles, but he struggled when it came to the scented. 

“What do you think? Should we get some scented ones?”

“Aren’t scented candles for girls?” I asked as I looked at them. He shot me a glare, popped open a cinnamon candle and shoved it in my nose. “WOW!” 

“Answer your question?” We decided on several of the cinnamon candles and they went in the basket as well. After checking out Levi slipped the bag over his arm. 

“Meet by that linen stand in half an hour? Will that give you enough time?” I nodded and began to turn my back to him and walk off and he yanked me back. “Wait.” He pulled me around the side of the building out of view. “I know I don’t usually say sappy shit like this, but kiss me goodbye.”

“But I’m only going-“

“Just. Do it. Think about the fucking world we live in Eren. You never know.” We kissed each other quietly, and he gave me a hug, and then and there we made a silent promise to always say goodbye. I quick thought of my mother ran through my head, but I shook it off, showing him a half smile. 

“See you in a few.” He leaned against the building and I walked into the crowd, searching for the perfect gift. I looked over the vendor booths and couldn’t really find anything that caught my eye for him. He’d probably be pissed if I bought him soap. Finally I saw it, sitting crisply at the corner of the stall. A sketchbook. I had drawn before the walls fell, when I was carefree. I should be able to pull something off for him now. I purchased the book along with the drawing supplies to go with it, as well as a binder with plastic sleeves in it. On the way back, I spotted some chocolate covered coffee beans, which I purchased also. 

“Done already?” 

“Yeah! No peeking!” He smiled and we walked towards the linen stall. He looked intently at the different available products and his eyes lit up when he spotted it. 

“Say, is that down?” The merchant laughed at him. 

“Yes, but it is very expensive. Men, such as yourselves can’t afford it.” 

“How much?” Levi demanded. He was pissed. 

“$250.00” 

“I’ll give you $300.00 for the comforter, the Egyptian cotton sheets and pillowcases to go with it.”

“Surely you are joking. A mere soldier wouldn’t have that!” I was beginning to hear whispers around us now. People were beginning to recognize Levi, but clearly the merchant   
hadn’t.

“Shake on it and I will pay up!” The merchant reach out his hand and Levi opened up his wallet. He handed over the money and the merchant’s mouth was practically watering. “Be more careful who you talk down to next time.” Levi said as they packaged up our linen for us. 

We left the stall and began walking back to the building with our arms full. 

“Thanks for your help, Eren.”

“No problem!”

 

December 23rd

Eren’s POV 

I had yet to escape the confines of Levi’s room. So in other words, I had no opportunity to work on his gift without him seeing. I wasn’t sure what time it was, but we were watching the sunrise together as we drank tea.

“I have to go into town for a few hours today.” Levi said as he dropped another sugar cube into his tea.

“It’s the day before Christmas Eve. Do you know how crowded it’s going to be?” he sighed.

“Do you think Erwin cares? He said something about a supply list for our training. If you have any specifics.” He slid a notebook towards me with a pencil, “Write them down.” 

I thought silently for a few minutes, and I wrote down, first aid supplies. Why was my brain freezing up at a time like this? We were going to be gone for a month and all I could think of was first aid?

“Hey Ackerman! What does your brother need?!” He spotted her going out the door for her morning run. My eyes got wide and I gave him a look of horror. I hadn’t exactly old her yet. 

“Need for what?” 

“Supplies for our training. We are going to be going on an extended trip. At least a month. Can you think of anything? All he could come up with was first aid.” 

“When?”

“The end of the week.” Her hand connected with my face, and she stood there silently staring at me and Levi. Usually normal people walk off after doing that, but not her. 

“He could use some new clothes. All of his seem to be worn out. His casual clothes I mean.” Levi was still staring at my red face as I held it in my hand. He took the notebook and scribbled it down. “And maybe some common sense to tell me important things.”

“I’m sorry Mikasa.”

“You keep apologizing, Eren, but you do nothing to fix it. All I do is worry and you just keep disappearing.”

“I was trying to wait until after Christmas to tell you. I didn’t want to make you guys worry through the holidays.”

She sat down at the table with us. “Just tell me next time Eren. It’s easier that way.” I silently nodded.

“Captain, please protect Eren.” She asked as she turned to him. He sat his tea down and looked her over. 

“I have and always will. It’s my duty to protect him with my life.” That last word didn’t sit well with me, but I let it go. “Especially now. Your brother means a lot to me.” 

“He’s an idiot you know. And he’s hard headed!” She said as she shot me a glare. Even though she was glaring, I could still see the hurt in her eyes. 

“And he’s a brat that rushes into fights too fast.” Levi added, “But he’s my everything in this world.” Levi said with a smile. She put her face in her hands and I pulled her into a hug.

“I promise I will try harder to think about you Mikasa, I’ve been selfish.” I said and she nodded and we stayed there for a while, just sitting together, enjoying the sunrise. 

We finally came up with a decent list and after Mikasa left for her run, Levi put on his cloak. I followed him out into the hallway. 

“I’ll be back but I wouldn’t expect me until this evening though. Erwin likes to turn these business meetings into all day things.” I frowned and he pulled me into a hug. “You’ll survive. Go play with Arlert for a few hours.” He paused for a minute. “And by play I DON’T mean play.” He pressed me up against the wall. “You are mine.” 

“I know Levi! Armin is just my friend. I don’t even think of him like that!” My face was turning red as we were getting cat calls from the scouts walking down for breakfast early. 

“Good. And just because. You. Are. Mine.” He put his lips on my neck and began to suck hard. 

“Levi, people are watching!” I knew he didn’t care, and I knew he wasn’t going to stop. Just my being embarrassed was probably enough to encourage him to continue if he didn’t have to leave. He pulled back with a smirk, licking his wet lips. 

“Do you hate me?”

“No why?” he let out a small chuckle. 

“No reason. Kiss me goodbye, I need to go.” I kissed him quickly and he was off. I watched his cloak flutter in the cold winter breeze as he walked into town. I wiped my neck with   
a sigh. It was still warm from his mouth. 

“Eren! Wanna sit together?!” Armin asked as he found me alone at the door. I nodded and followed him into the dining hall. He was staring at me strangely.

“What?”

“Well, ugh. It’s nothing. Have you looked in a mirror this morning?” 

“Yeah. I brushed my teeth and everything, why Armin?! Is there something on my face?!” 

“No, not exactly!” He said with a smile. “No worries! Eat up!” I was curious, but we were happily eating together. I explained how Levi had business in town with Erwin and how we pretty much had the day together if he wanted to spend it with me, with the exception of the drawing I needed to do.

“HAHAHA Damn Jaeger! Look at that hickey!” Connie was dying from laughter. Armin was blushing. THAT’s why Levi asked if I hated him. It all made sense. I was mortified, and Levi wasn’t here to watch any of it. My face was turning red. 

“Look! He’s lighting up too! HAHAHAHA” Connie was on the floor now. I got up and ran outside onto the front porch. I couldn’t take the environment in there. I heard the door shut behind me and a hand rested itself on my shoulder. 

“I’m sorry Eren, I wasn’t sure how to tell you without embarrassing you.” I heard Armin said quietly. I sighed and ran my hand over my neck.

“Is it bad?” 

“Well…he left a pretty good mark on you. I can’t believe you didn’t know.” 

“He did it right before he left. I hadn’t passed any mirrors.” I said with a sigh.

“Oh, well that explains it!”

“Armin…I’ve been meaning to talk to you anyways…” He pulled his hand off of my shoulder and we both leaned against the snowy banister. “It’s like all of my emotions are all mixed up. I have no idea what I feel towards Levi. My heart hurts so badly when I think about him. I know I’m still a kid but. God I don’t know.”

“Hmmm, can you explain a little more?”

“He just, I don’t know. He’s an ass sometimes, but he’s really sweet to me. I feel like I’m connected to him, and I feel like I’d break apart if something were to happen to him.” My hands began to tremble. “See even just the thought! Fuck Armin, what’s wrong with me?! He feels so warm against me, and he’s really weird about cleaning, and he irons all my damn clothes, even my underwear, but I don’t even mind! I have all these crazy ass nightmares and he’s always there. Every single time. When I wake up, he’s got his arms around me, he tells me it’s okay, and I just, I don’t know if I could go on without him.”

“Eren, I think you’ve answered your own question.” I looked out over the trees. 

“How do I know if he feels like that too? I’m scared. I’m literally scared out of my mind.”

“Has he dropped any hints that he feels the same way?”

“I don’t know, he tells me he cares about me a lot. And he smiles when he around me and it’s just the two of us. He actually SMILES. And he even laughs. But it’s so hard to tell what he’s feeling most of the time. He has just hardened his emotions. He’s been through so much.”

“I guess it’ll just be a risk then, Eren. Take it whenever you feel the time is right.”

“Shit.” I attempted to pull my hair, but there was nothing there thanks to my new haircut, so I grunted and kicked the banister instead. “It’s so frustrating!”

“You’ll get through it!” He said with a smile, “How about you grab your sketchbook and work on the drawings?” 

I ran upstairs to grab the hidden bag and noticed a note on top of the dresser. 

Jack @ 5:30, 23rd

I paused for a minute as I looked at the note. It was clearly Levi’s handwriting. I thought he was going to be with Erwin all evening? I pushed it to the back of my mind and grabbed my things. I had plenty of work to do, and obviously Levi had his reasons for not telling me. 

 

We sat in the common area together, talking about nothing really. Armin insisted on showing me the ornaments on the tree, and how someone and placed mine and Levi’s together. I sketched all afternoon. I sketched the two ornaments on the tree. I sketched Levi as I remembered every detail of him in my mind. I sketched us together in two different poses, one friendly and one with our arms around each other.

“My hand hurts!” I said as I shut the book.

“Take a break! Let me see!” I reluctantly handed the book over to Armin and he had a shocked look on his face as he flipped through the pages. “Have you ever thought about applying for a sketch artist position for the Corps, Eren? I’m sure they need someone else with this kind of talent!” 

“Thanks! I’ll think about it! Maybe after Levi sees on Christmas.” 

“The last one is my favorite, with your arms around each other! So much emotion!” 

“It’s funny, because I haven’t actually got to feel both of his arms yet. It’s been in that cast this whole time.” I said as I finished up the shading. I carefully began pulling out the pieces and slipping them into the binder. Armin helped me wrap my gifts for Levi and I returned them to the bedroom. I waited for him in our bed. I heard the door open and he slung his cloak off onto the chair. His boots followed and he jumped on top of me. 

“Ughhhhh,” he groaned. I hugged him tight and rolled him over. 

“Long day?” He nodded and put his arm over his eyes, blocking out the last bits of fading sunset. “I was humiliated at breakfast.” I pulled his arm away and pointed at my neck. 

“Because I had no idea this was here.” He smiled and pulled me down for a kiss.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t hate me?”

“I could never hate you.” He rolled over on top of me, pinning me to the bed. 

“Good, then I don’t have to worry.” He leaned closer to me and I got a whiff of something strange. Was that…cologne? It didn’t smell right…it wasn’t Levi. I must have frowned, thinking back to the note in the back of my mind. “Are you really that upset about it, brat?”

“N-no…can we just take a shower, or a bath? Something. I don’t feel well.” He put his hand to my forehead.

“Don’t be getting sick on me. We leave soon.” He said with a concerned look in his eyes. The smell was making me nauseous. I couldn’t take it! I shoved him off me and ran to the bathroom and puked. Fuck! Was it the smell or the thoughts coming with it? Was Levi with someone else today? I flushed the toilet and he stepped into the bathroom behind me and I heard the tub start. I was starting to sweat now. My stomach was in knots, especially after the realization I had come to this morning. Tears started to well up in my eyes. 

“Hey now, calm down. I’ve got the bath started.” He must’ve caught a whiff of the cologne as well because he began stripping off his own clothes. I wasn’t sure whether to be thankful or frightened. He just had his underwear on and he pulled me to my feet. “Feel any better?” He still faintly smelled like that scent, but not so much that I wanted to puke. I nodded and he walked me to the sink. “Brush your teeth.” Of course, clean freak wouldn’t want to kiss me after I threw up….I really wouldn’t want to either though. I brushed my teeth and returned my toothbrush to the holder and Levi began to undress me. He fucking marked me as his. He marked me as his and ran off. “Eren? You’re quiet.” He put his hand to my forehead again after dropping my shirt to the floor. I looked all over his neck for signs, for scratches for anything. I was shaking. “Eren!” He put his hands on my shoulders and shook me.

“You smell weird.” I said bluntly. That’s all I said. No eye contact. Nothing. 

“It made you fucking throw up?! Damn Eren. I had an errand I had forgotten about the other day. Some lady attacked me with this damn cologne. She practically drown me in it.”

“Oh.” My heart felt a little better, but I felt a little tug at the back of it. Like there was still and underlying lie there. Jack @ 5:30 I trusted Levi with my life. It was damn time I trusted him with my heart too. It was all in or nothing, and I wanted to give every piece of my heart to him when it came time, even if it meant he would just stomp on it. 

“Come on, let’s get in and I’ll wash this shit off.” He pulled my pants and underwear off along with his, and we climbed into the tub together. We worked as a team to clean each other, since he couldn’t get his cast wet, and I couldn’t submerge my stitches. That awful smell was finally gone, and my head was clear. All I could smell was clean, crisp, Levi. Soap and a smell all on it’s own that I couldn’t even explain. I jumped on top of him and along with splashing quite a bit of water out of the tub, landed my mouth right beneath his jawline on his neck and began to suck like he had done to me this morning.

“Eren!” He tried to push me off but I pushed him down. My heart was beating fast. My emotions were mixed. I felt nauseous still. I’m sure no one had EVER put a mark on the captain before. I slid my hand down below the water and to my relief found him half-hard already. Maybe I hadn’t pissed him off. I touched him and he arched against my hand. I eventually let go of his neck, fearful of what he was going to say, but our eyes connected and I found his to be hazy. He pulled me down against him again and began sucking on my neck again. “You don’t have to stop.” He whispered quietly. My lips connected with the side of his neck at the same time, and my hand kept stroking him under the water. He let out a whimper. “Fuck, Eren. Who gives you these ideas?” I looked up to the spot below his jaw. It was already starting to turn purple. It was hard to maneuver in the tub with one hand, so Levi pulled the plug and we dried off and moved to the bed. 

I stood there quietly as he finished drying, and he led me over to the bed by my hand. I climbed on top of him again and got ready to leave another mark.  
“Woah! Hang on.” He pulled me down and wrapped his arms around me. I melted when I saw his wet hair still sticking to his face. “What’s all this about?” I looked away and he put his fingers on my chin and made me look him in the eyes. “Are you really that pissed at me Eren?” he said seriously. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you that badly. I just got carried away. I’m sorry.”

“No I just…You…” He laced our fingers together and pulled me close. 

“Something’s bothering you! Just say it.”

“You just ran out this morning. You didn’t let me give you one. I didn’t think about it until later…but are we…fuck I don’t know. Are we exclusive?” Levi’s eyes narrowed. He was pissed. My stomach dropped. I wanted to die. 

“Why the Fuck wouldn’t we be Eren?!” Wait…What? I gripped his hand tightly. Please. Don’t. Go. It’s not like that! Tears were welling up again. God when did I become such a damn cry baby. Welcome to puberty and titan shifting at the same time!

I felt a tear run down my face and Levi tried to loosen our fingers. “I saw the note! On the dresser! Then the cologne. I got scared. And you didn’t want me to give you one back. I panicked.” He furrowed his brow and ripped our hands apart. “N-No LEVI!- I’M-“

“Calm Down Brat.” He took his hand and placed it on my head, then he guided it over to his neck. “I forgot about that damn note. Yeah, that does look sketchy, especially after I said I would be with Erwin all day. Jack at 5:30 on December 23rd?” I nodded into his neck and he rubbed my head. 

“He’s a vendor, idiot. I was going to pick up a Christmas present. I swear I did get attacked by a crazy lady with a perfume bottle.” I sighed against his neck. “So wait…you thought I was going to meet Jack for a date then?” I felt my face begin to burn. I nodded and he kissed the top of my head. “I care about you too much for that.”

“L-Levi I need to talk to you.” It’s now or never. Well now or I was going to puke. I pulled back so I could look into his eyes. “I’ve been thinking a lot a-and.”

“Shit. Here it comes.” He said with a frown. My heart snapped. “is it the “its not me it’s you?” or “I think we should just go separate ways to fulfil our dreams” speech?” He already crawled out from underneath me and began climbing out of bed and I pulled him back. 

“If you stop being a complete ass for a minute and listen for a second, it’s n-neither.” My face was still red. Could he not see the signs? What an idiot. I brought our lips together and pushed him back down on the bed. His skin was so soft, especially after getting right out of the bath. He moaned into the kiss and we crawled back into bed.

“Sorry, I just…” I put my hand in his hair and his eyes flickered closed for a moment. 

“It’s fine, just hear me out. Please. It’s important.” He nodded and I grabbed his hand with my other hand.

“My emotions have all been mixed up lately. I don’t know if it’s from the shifting or what, but they have just been really hard to deal with. Not to mention having the nightmares on top of everything. I just feel like everything has been out of my control. But there has been one constant thing in my life, and that’s been you. You’ve been there for me through everything! Through every damn nightmare, you’ve held me until I felt better. My heart feels so strange, and I feel like I’m supposed to be too young to even know what….love is…but I think…I think I love you Levi.” My face was fiery red, I could feel it burning. I could feel him stroking my hand with his thumb, but I was too scared to look up at his face. I was too scared to hear his reply. Time froze for a moment. But finally, after convincing myself, I looked up. 

His face was covered by his arm and I pulled it away to see tears in his own eyes. “Fuck You Jaeger!” He cried out. “This isn’t right. I don’t even know what this damn feeling is either but I’ve been keeping it from you. I knew Shifting mixed everything up in your head. Hanji told me not to rush you, so I waited.” He put his hand over his own heart. “So it’s okay now? I can finally say it? I don’t even know if I can. I never have…” he looked almost sad. I squeezed his hand, trying to give him some of my own strength. “I guess that’s what this feeling in my heart is for you Eren is….is love.” Our lips crashed together and everything just became right. My heart fluttered as if a weight had been lifted off, and his expression softened in the same way when we pulled apart. We kissed sweetly next, just thankful that we had each other. He pushed me down and climbed on top of me. “I can’t wait until I can use both of my hands on you.” He breathed against my lips. 

My erection had come back with a vengeance now, and I had Levi in my sights. I wanted more. I was craving him. I was hungry. “Please, Levi. More. I want more than what we’ve been doing.” Was all I could mutter between kisses.” He pulled away and leaned our foreheads together.

“Listen, Eren. Please just a few more days, okay?” He said as he looked deeply into my eyes. “I’ll make you feel more than fulfilled tonight, trust me.” He purred. “But it’s because I…love you that I want our first time to be special. Okay?” My face flooded with red. Just hearing Levi say it was enough to make my head explode. I couldn’t think of what to say in response. I froze up, so he just smiled in understanding and captured my lips. He was rubbing his thigh against me now and I cried out his name. 

“Shhhh….the windows open. Unless you don’t care if people hear you scream my name.” He pinched my nipple and I moaned unintentionally. He kept rubbing over my nipple and I couldn’t take it. My cock was hurting so bad it needed to be touched.

“Please, Levi.”

“Please, What?” I pulled him down and said it into his neck. My face was already on fire. 

“Please, touch me. It hurts.” He moved his hand from my nipple finally down my aching cock and gave it a stroke. “ACH LEVI!” 

“Really though Brat.” He hopped out of bed and ran over to the window, shutting it with a smile. “You were embarrassed by a hickey this morning, but you don’t have any problem screaming my name out an open window do you?” he said as he crawled back on top of me. 

“S-Sorry.” He was smirking. 

“Eren, do you trust me?” He whispered against my lips. His hair was tickling my face. I nodded. “Say it.”

“I trust you.”

“Can I finger you? No sex today, just a little something different for you.” His eyes were hazed over again and I’m sure mine were as well. 

“Y-yeah.” He held out his fingers to my mouth.

“Suck.” I placed them in my mouth, not really having any clue, what I was doing. “Just wet them for me.” I wanted to touch Levi too, but I was apprehensive at the moment. “Okay, good, come here.” He pulled me close to him, and I felt him touch my entrance. “Now, you’ll have to help me out since I only have one hand. When I say touch yourself, do it.” I blushed hard, but I nodded, and he pressed into me. It felt so strange, like something that didn’t really belong. I pushed my head into his neck at the uncomfortable feeling and groaned, sharp pains accompanied it. I was beginning to panic. What if I couldn’t do this? Levi was so much bigger than his finger. He just had one inside of me. Oh God.

“Eren, Calm Down. Your heart is going to beat out of your chest. I feel you tightening up too. Try to relax, I know it feels weird and uncomfortable, but I promise it’ll feel good.” He found my lips and kissed me hard, erasing all the thoughts I had. We broke apart for a couple of seconds. “Stroke yourself a few times.” I did so, shuttering through my whole body. It’s like all my muscles seemed to loosen, but Levi continued to take his time and kiss me. He started to move the finger in and out. It seemed so odd, but it didn’t feel bad. Eventually it began to feel good and I started to let out faint whimpers against him. I wasn't quite sure what to feel. It still felt awkward.

“Ready for another?” I nodded against him, and gripped his shoulder as he inserted it. I winced and tears struck my eyes. 

“Shit. Eren. I’m sorry. I promise it’ll start to feel good.” I nodded and let my head rest against him.

“Can I touch you, Levi?” 

“If that’s what you really want, yeah.” I began playing with his hard on, making him moan. It helped take my mind off the pain until it subsided, but I didn’t let go of his cock. He had given me 90% of the attention this time, it wasn’t fair. He began moving his fingers in and out once the pain had diminished, and he hit something deep inside me that made me cry out and grip his cock hard.

“Fuck Levi! WHAT WAS THAT?” he smirked and kept moving his fingers, hitting that same spot. 

“Shit Eren, That was your prostate. If I hit it just right, like this “he did it again and I screamed and jerked him hard.”FUCK EREN. I’m not gonna last long. If you keep. Doing that.” He breathed hotly against my ear.

I kept jerking hard every time he hit my prostate. He cried out my name one last time and came in my hand, panting as he did so, but he kept up with his movements. 

“AGHHH LEVI. It feels so good! Please don’t stop!” I watched him with a half-lidded gaze as he kept fingering me, making me feel this way. “LEVI!” It was almost unbearable. I needed to release and he could hear it in my voice. His hair was still damp and he looked absolutely amazing. He was leaning over me, watching me and planting soft kisses along my shoulder. 

“Touch yourself Eren!” I grabbed my cock and pumped it 3 times and I saw white. I screamed his name and I was hit with the most powerful orgasm I’d had to date. It’d nearly made my eyes water. I could barely move. I reach for him and collapsed beside him. 

“Levi.”

“Mhmmm.”

“Wow.”

“Mhmmm.” Needless to say, we stayed in bed for the rest of the day.


	16. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Eve in the Survey Corps barracks! Will everything turn out just as Levi and Eren plan? :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this is right on time for Christmas! Ha <3 20 days away!! <3

Eren’s POV

The next day brought about the hustle and bustle of Christmas Eve. Levi was reluctant to get out of bed, but he did after reminding himself that he would try to make this Christmas good for me. We had skipped breakfast, (again) which was no surprise considering how drained I was after yesterday evening. Levi had certainly lived up to his promise   
of making me feel good. I sighed as he tried to pull me out of bed.

“Get up Jaeger.” He was yanking on my hand from the side of the bed. “You are the one that wants to join in the ‘festivities’ after all.” I groaned. A day in bed with Levi sounded MUCH better.

“Can’t we stay in bed?”

“And do what exactly? You want me to play around with you again like yesterday instead of going downstairs and spending Christmas Eve with your friends?” I thought for a moment and sighed. 

“Damn it. Fine I’ll get up.” I finally let him pull me to my feet. We threw on some clothes and decided on a shower rather than a bath. We went straight to lunch after the shower. Surprisingly we restrained ourselves in the shower, thanks to other people being in there….but that didn’t mean I didn’t sneak a couple peaks at Levi.

“I saw you looking you know.” He whispered on the way to lunch.

“And?” I said with a smile. He just shook his head and tried to adjust his cravat over the marks from yesterday. Nope, wasn’t going to work. I smiled again. It was his turn this time. 

“Think again, Jaeger.” He said with a grin. Before we stepped into the dining hall he grabbed my hand without a second though, and my face turned bright red. Shit. He would turn this around on me. I just sighed and took a deep breath as he led us over to Armin and Mikasa. EVERYONE was staring. My stomach sank, but he gave my hand a strengthening squeeze. We sat down next to each other and he turned to whisper in my ear. “Listen, you are mine. I could give two shits less about what these idiots think about us. I’m fucking crazy about you, Eren. Got it? So stop worrying about what they think, and focus on us. You already heard me say it yesterday. Normal couples hold hands in public, we can too.” 

He was still holding my hand firmly. My cheeks were molten, but as I stared into his eyes, something was different. There was a light there that had not been there before. He gave me a faint smile that he rarely shown in public and I melted. I simply nodded and whispered an ‘okay’ to him.

I turned towards my friends and greeted them for the day, as did Levi. “You guys missed breakfast. Again.” Mikasa said in a semi-annoyed tone.

“Eren had a bit of a rough night.” Levi said. My face was already red, thank goodness. So no more red could be added to it. “I figured you would also find it in his best interest if I let him catch up on his sleep. Sorry about that.” 

“Oh, okay.” Did that really go over her head? Levi was really a smooth talker. Jeez. She must’ve thought I had nightmares all night again. Wait…I didn’t have a nightmare last night… I squeezed his hand and he looked at me with concern.

“Something wrong?” he whispered. 

“Just…need to talk to you later. Remind me.” He nodded and we began eating and carrying on conversation. The smells of holiday cooking began drifting throughout the castle. 

“Dinner smells great already! I can’t wait!” Armin said enthusiastically. 

“You are already thinking about dinner while we are eating lunch. Are you sure your name isn’t Sasha, Armin?” I said with a smile.

“Hey!” he said as he pointed his fork at me.

After lunch, the four of us, plus Hanji moved into the common area. Levi pulled me into the hallway on the way to talk to me privately.

“What’s up? You needed to talk?” He said as he leaned against the wall.

“I didn’t have a nightmare last night.” I said intently.

“You say it like it’s a bad thing. It’s good brat. It means you actually got a good night’s sleep for once. I don’t think I had a nightmare either, actually.” He said as he rubbed the back of his head. Was that was contributed to that glow in his eyes? Or was it something else? He put his lips closely to my ear. “I guess we just completely wore each other’s brains out.” He whispered slyly.

“Levi!” he chuckled. God that laugh. 

“Just a thought. Come on, let’s go join your friends. Tis the season, right?”

We plopped down on the couch, and Levi threw his arm around me and pulled me close making me blush. It was the arm with his cast on it, so it did feel a little awkward. There were a few others around beside my friends, but his words were echoing through my head.

Stop worrying about what they think, and focus on us. You already heard me say it yesterday.

I seemed like a dream. Had I really heard Levi say that he’d loved me? 

I guess that’s what this feeling in my heart is for you Eren is….is love.

My hand was shaking and I felt Levi’s finger’s lace together with mine.

“Eren. You okay?” He asked quietly. “Your friends are talking to you. You just started staring off. I think you are scaring them.” My head jerked up.

“Oh, sorry! I was just thinking!” I said with a smile. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

“Probably, about killing titans!” Sasha said with a smile. I laughed and agreed.

“What’s the best Christmas you’ve had?” Hanji asked the room. “Let’s go around!” 

Armin started. “I would probably say the year we joined the cadets. We didn’t really get to give each other gifts that year, but all three of us, me Eren, and Mikasa were together. I was happy to know that. It snowed on Christmas Eve, and we awoke to someone who had delivered a bunch of sweets to the cadet cabin! No one ever cared about anyone in there, not even for the holidays, so everyone thought it was really odd that we got anything! But we all enjoyed it together. And they were high quality sweets too. I remember the tag on though, it said please join the Survey Corps. ” Levi squeezed my hand and looked at the floor. Seriously. No fucking way. “Wait….Captain?!”

“Well…it was Erwin and me. We thought we might get some recruits that way. Especially potato girl.” 

“Wow! So you made my best Christmas possible!” Armin said with a smile. “Thanks!” Levi simply nodded and stared at the tree. I could tell he was feeling uncomfortable. What was he going to say when his time came?

“Mikasa?” she frowned and thought for a moment. Poor Mikasa and her rough life. 

“It’s hard to remember my parents, so I’d have to say my first Christmas with the Jaegers.” My heart gave a sorrowful throb. My expression of happiness had drained off of my face and I’d been overwhelmed by sadness as I’d remembered my old home in Shinganshina. The mother I’d never go home to. Tears stung at my eyes and Levi tugged me closer against him. I leaned my head into his shoulder. I refused to cry. Not in front of my comrades. “They made me feel welcome in their home, and they got me a special dress for Christmas. Eren’s mother cooked a wonderful dinner.” Levi’s hand was locked against mine. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to punch the fucking wall. Why did she have to say those things? 

“Connie?” He began talking about some town in a random village on the outskirts of town and my mind was running a mile a minute. Levi loosened his grip on my hand and began running his fingers over my hand. 

“Eren?” my eyes dropped to the floor. I didn’t know what to say. My stomach sank. I wanted to puke. “I guess this year has been the best for me so far.” I said without thinking. Levi raised his eyebrow and watched me intently. “I know todays only Christmas Eve, but I’m getting to spend it with my friends and someone I really care about.” I hadn’t really realized what I said until it was out of my mouth. I REALLY wanted to puke now. Levi actually sincerely smiled, in front of everyone, and the whole room went silent. Holy shit.

“Ugh, well I’ll go next.” Hanji began her story about her first Christmas with Sonny and Bean. I looked over at Levi and a more peaceful version of the smile rested on his face as he leaned his head against mine. God, what embarrassing thing was he going to say about me now? Why did I have to say that? I was sweating. 

“Don’t worry so much.” He whispered quietly in my ear. “That was sweet.” I nodded and returned my head to his shoulder. So many mixed emotions were flooding through me. I wanted to scream. 

“Last but not least, Levi!” He sighed and looked at the floor.

“Well, I can say I’ve had a great Christmas, but all of mine have been shitty. I was going to go with what Eren said, but since he already took that, I’ll give you my least fucked up Christmas.” I lifted my head off of Levi’s shoulder and listened to him.

“I guess, it’d have to be the first Christmas after I’d joined the Corps. Which was the first Christmas I was without my best friends. We had joined together, and they were killed in combat, and Christmas fell just a couple of months after that, so I was pretty much alone. Fucking Erwin made me come out of my room, just like you Hanji.” His hand went to the cravat around his neck and he looked down. “I ate Christmas dinner with the Survey Corps, tempted myself with drinking myself into a stupor but he wouldn’t let me. After dinner he gave me a present. He thanked me for my hard work. He told me I was ‘one hell of a soldier’ I opened it and a cravat was inside. I even felt like it was a joke for a minute, but after I put in on, it just…fit. Then he promoted me to squad leader.” He let the cravat slip through his fingers and they returned to my hand. “So there’s a Christmas story for you.” Everyone was staring at Levi silently, even me. Hanji broke the silence. 

“Well everyone, how about we make this Christmas together special! Like Eren said! Let’s open presents!” as everyone began moving to the tree to pick up gifts, I gathered all my strength and went to kiss Levi on the cheek. He smirked and turned at the last minute, touching our lips together. 

“Trying to catch me off guard?” he stared into my eyes and thankfully, his eyes still held the same spark as earlier. Telling his story hadn’t brought back his cold emotions. “Grab your friend’s present’s from me under the tree while you’re up. Too many people over there.” He said with a smirk.

“You’re allowed to boss me?” He pulled me close and put his lips to my ear.

“You were okay with me bossing you yesterday weren’t you?” Red flooded my face and I jumped up and ran to the tree, fetching the presents for everyone. I handed Armin the one from me as well as the one from Levi and I did the same for Mikasa. 

I had gotten Armin a journal with his name inscribed on it, and I got Mikasa gloves to match her scarf. They both hugged me and opened Levi’s gift next. They both got boxes of identical chocolates, which Armin proceeded to pop in his mouth. 

“So good! Thanks Levi! I-I ugh Captain Levi!” 

“Don’t worry about it Armin.”

“Thank you Captain.” Mikasa said as she reach out her hand to Levi. He took it and they finally came to some understanding. 

Armin handed me a box addressed from him and Mikasa and I opened it to find drawing supplies inside. I blushed and thanked them both. Levi raised his eyebrow.

“I didn’t know you drew, Eren.” Levi said curiously. Shit. Hopefully it wouldn’t spoil his surprise. Then Mikasa handed Levi a box. He tried his best to open it, but the wrapping got the better of his one hand. I helped him. “Ohhh Chocolate Covered Cherries in Liquor. Yum” Levi said as he eyed the box. Had I found Levi’s weakness? Chocolate? “Thanks!”

“C-Can we go somewhere else. I have one for you but-” Levi nodded and groaned as he stood. He stretched and walked over to the tree. He grabbed a green box and took my hand, pulling me up off of the sofa.” 

“We’ll see you guys in the morning! Thanks for everything!” I said with a smile. We threw on our cloaks and walked out onto the porch which had been illuminated by a few candles for the night, as well as a full moon. It made Levi’s hair shine and his eyes glow. The small package in his hand sparkled as the light of the candle bounced off of it.

My hand was shaking. I hoped he liked my presents. He looked at me and smiled.

“Why are you so nervous?” 

“I-I just don’t want to disappoint you.” He sat his gift on the table and took the presents out of my hands and set them aside as well. He pressed me up against the familiar banister, and took my breath away with a deep kiss. Just the taste of his tongue on mine set me on fire. All of my emotions settled down. He grounded me. He ran his hand over my hair, and I yearned for a moment for my hair to grow faster. I wanted his fingers in it again. But his hand still felt nice against my head like that. We finally broke apart, and our breath twisted around us in frozen wisps. 

“Not possible for you to disappoint me if you keep kissing me like that.” He said deeply. He pulled me off of the banister and brushed the snow off of my back and led me over to the table. I handed him the small box first and started the rip for him so he could open it easily. He opened it the rest of the way to reveal the chocolate covered coffee beans. 

“Where did you find these?” He opened the bag and popped one in his mouth. “Mmmm. Want to try one?” I nodded and he popped another one in his mouth and proceeded to kiss me again, letting me taste the chocolate covered coffee. God, why did he do this to me! I felt that familiar twitch in my stomach. NOT NOW. Please. I took a deep breath and pulled away. He smirked and licked his lips. “Good?” I nodded and reluctantly handed him my other gift.

“Please don’t hate me. If you don’t like it, you can trash it.” His eyes narrowed and I ripped the paper again for him, starting to reveal the black binder underneath.

“You got me a binder?” He raised his eyebrow. “For paperwork?”

“No, open it.” He opened the cover to reveal the drawings inside. His eyes went wide and he moved closer to the candle. 

“Fuck Eren, these are amazing. You drew these?” I nodded and watched his face as he flipped through the pages. He finally got to the last drawing, my favorite of all of them, the one with our arms wrapped around each other. He ran his fingers over the plastic covering. They were trembling. “You…you drew these for me?” he looked up at me. I was biting my lip, holding my terror in. I didn’t know what he was going to say. I simply nodded and he carefully laid the binder down, as if it’d shatter into a thousand pieces. He wrapped his arms around me, including his broken one, though it was awkward and he hugged me tightly. “Thank You. No one has even went out of their way to do something so special for me like that before. It’s beautiful, Eren. God, I love you.” He hugged me tight and I melted against him. It’s like my last drawing was coming to life. That’s the emotion I was trying to convey in it. Love. He loosened the hug just enough to capture my lips hungrily in a kiss. His taste, his feel, everything about him drove me crazy. I could feel every muscle in his arms and upper body holding me. I still tasted a hint of coffee and chocolate and he was so warm against the bitter cold of the winter night. The wind blew and his cravat tickled my neck and made me shutter. His past was awful. It was more than awful. He’d been through hell and back, and I didn’t even want to ask him any further about it because I was scared to learn any more. And I thought I’d had it bad. I was scared to make connections with people because of what had happened to me, but here was Levi, still leaving his heart open to me, after everything that he’d gone through. Everything he’d lost. Everyone he’d lost. 

“Eren? You’re crying.” He pulled away slightly and wiped my tears away. My face felt cold from the breeze, but he returned to kissing me. I guess he realized to myriad of emotions I was feeling at that moment. He broke away again to study my face. I had stopped finally, realizing that my heart at this moment was fully filled with love for Levi and all the other emotions could take a back seat.

“Sorry, seems like I do that a lot huh? I’m just a big worthless ball of emotions.” He ran his thumb over my cheek again and wiped away my tears. 

“Don’t call yourself worthless. Crying means you are human, Eren.” Those words struck me. Hard. Human. I’m human. I squeezed onto Levi tight and stared into his eyes. 

“Even though I’m a Titan-Shifter?”

“Yes, You are human, Eren. Don’t forget that. You aren’t some monster that everyone makes it seem. We’ve went through a lot lately. ” Levi said as he stared intently into my eyes. “I’ve been with you long enough to know that you are human.” I smiled and leaned in to kiss him again. Could I be luckier? He kisses me for a while longer and he finally pulled away. He reach me the green box and stared at me as I looked at it. “Courtesy of Jack at 5:30.” He said with a chuckle. My eyes got wide and he smiled and motioned for me to open it.

I opened the small box to find a bracelet inside. I pulled it out and looked over it. I was braided leather and gold. He took it out of the box and attempted to latch it around my wrist. I helped him buckle it and I gasped as I saw the front. Inlaid on the front, outlined in gold, were the wings of freedom, shining in full glory. 

“Levi! I-I I can’t-I” I couldn’t even form words as I looked at it glimmer in the candlelight. He smiled at me and I pushed him against the wall and kissed him. I heard the box drop, and felt his arm go around my waist. I was breathing heavy when we pulled apart. I grabbed his hand with mine and I still had him pressed up against the wall. “I love it! You didn’t have to spend so much though…I know it was expensive. Gold is outrageous!” He smiled and kissed my forehead. 

“Just don’t lose it and we won’t have a problem.” I nodded and kissed him again, opening my eyes every now and again to watch my bracelet glimmer in the candle light. “Come on, let’s go inside.” He breathed against my hungry lips. “If we stay out here much longer, I’ll have to embarrass you on the steps.” I smiled we gathered our things and headed upstairs. 

I fell back onto the bed and held my bracelet in front of my eyes. I heard Levi moving things on the dresser and I moved my attention to him. He had set the binder up, and flipped it to display the last two drawings. I blushed and jumped up.

“You are going to put it there?” I tried to grab it and he pushed me back.

“Mhmm. It’s mine. I can do what I want with it.” He said with a grin. I was blushing hard now. “Your artwork is beautiful Eren.” His hand was on my lower back and he pushed me down on the bed. “Just like you.” Familiar crimson was creeping up my neck and I reach my hand up to feel the blotches. 

“That’s not the only place you blush you know.” He said with a smile. He worked my shirt over my head, leaving my chest and upper body bare besides my gleaming bracelet. I was turning redder. “I’ll show you ALL the places you blush. Here.” he kissed my cheek. “and here” and my nose. I shuttered. He moved to my ears next and I squirmed underneath him.

“Levi!” I saw him make a mental note of that one. He moved to my jaw next.

“Especially here.” He began kissing all over my neck. I knew I blushed all over my neck, it was no secret. He moved to my shoulder next. “Every now and then, you’ll get a blotch here.” he kissed my shoulder and I simply watched him moved over me. “But Eren, do you know the place that blushes the worst?” he said with a grin? Oh god. No. He moved down with a flash and ripped my pants off, and kissed my cock. “See what I mean? So red.” I leaned my head back into the pillow as he kissed it again and again. Why was he teasing me so much? I reach a shaky hand down to his head and ran my fingers through his hair. 

“Levi, will you please?” He looked up at me. 

“You are actually not being shy for once? Wow.” He said deeply as he licked the head of my cock. I let out a moan and felt his hand on my hip. His hand was so warm. He was leaning gently on his other arm, mainly on his elbow. He sucked lightly on the head of my cock for a moment before taking me the rest of the way in his mouth. 

“Oh!” He rubbed my hip and began to bob his head up and down. My head was spinning. Was he really okay with doing this for me? Was it really okay for me to ask that of him?   
Shut up brain! I gripped his hair as he set my nerves on fire. My other hand gripped the soft cotton sheets. Of course he didn’t mind! He loved me! Just the thought made the coil start in my groin and I began to sweat and pant. “L-Levi-“He began to rub the inside of my thigh and deep throated me once, I nearly lost it. I cried out and tried to buck forward but he held me down. I held on for one two more bobs before finally came hard into his mouth, seeing stars as I did. Levi returned to my side and kissed me deeply and I could taste myself on his lips. I didn’t know how to react. My cock twitched at the thought, but then I remembered, he hadn’t gotten off yet.

“What do you want me to-?” 

“How about in the chair?” My eyes went wide and I climbed out of bed and led Levi over to the chair in the corner, knees nearly buckling in the process. I took off his shirt and neatly folded it and laid it on the dresser, I left his cravat on and smiled. “Kinky brat.” Next his pants came off. I took his cock into my mouth and I was alarmed at how deep it went. His hand went into my hair as well, but he was softly running his hand over my head, not pushing it down like I had heard all the guys in the barracks talk about. Levi was surprisingly gentle when it came to things like this. One of my arms was wrapped around his leg and the other was gently touching his balls. He was moaning and groaning every time I went down, and I looked up at his face every so often to make sure there was a constant look of pleasure. 

“E-Eren! Fuck!” I felt a little pressure on my head as he jerked and pushed me down slightly, I froze. Was I scared of Levi being rough with me? “Shit, you okay?” I pulled back and nodded. 

“Sorry, just not used to that.” I said as I looked into his eyes. He pulled me up and kissed me. 

“I don’t want to force you into anything. You are still so young. I was forced into a lot of shit at your age.” Levi said with narrowed eyed. His hand returned to my head as he kissed me and he rubbed my head. “Sorry.” I nodded.

“It’s okay….we can try it…just not too hard?” Levi’s eyes went wide. “I’ll tap your thigh if I don’t like it?” he nodded and I returned my mouth to his leaking cock. He whimpered and I breathed deeply as his hand returned to my head. With each bob of my head, he pushed my head down harder onto him, and with each push, he let out a throaty moan that I immediately fell in love with. “Getting C-Close. S-Shit!” Another moan. Another Push. “Oh! EREN!” He cried out my name and gripped my shoulder as he came. This time he didn’t come in the back of my throat, he actually came in my mouth and it was a lot different. It tasted salty and I couldn’t compare it to anything. Not really similar to my taste from earlier either. I swallowed what I could, and wiped the rest on my arm.

“Shit, Eren.” Levi pulled me to my feet, and he took my hand and walked me into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and looked away. I looked like a whore. I was covered. He was wetting a washcloth for me in the sink and began wiping my face off. He moved to my arm next, cleaning me off bit by bit. “You aren’t afraid to get messy are you?” he said with a smirk as he threw the washcloth in the dirty clothes hamper. I shook my head and looked at my toothbrush. I didn’t mind having Levi’s taste on my lips, but it was odd having so much. He smiled. “Go ahead, I’m going to as well. I think I’m rubbing off on you.” He said with a wink. We stood there together and brushed our teeth together, completely nude beside Levi’s cravat and my bracelet. We finished, blew out the candles, and returned to the bed. He finally stripped the cravat from his neck and threw it on the bedside table, but I refused to take my bracelet off. He ran his fingers over it and smiled. 

“I’m glad you like it.” 

“You thought I wouldn’t?” He shrugged and we climbed under the covers. 

“I just wanted you to have a good Christmas.” We kissed again, this time sweetly and sleepily, the lust and want gone from our systems from the time being at least. 

“I had the best Christmas I’ve ever had. I fell in love.” I said as I leaned our foreheads together. “That in itself is one hell of a present.” His smile gleamed in the moonlight that the curtains let through.

“It sure is. I’ll take you as my present any day Jaeger.” He said as he wrapped his arm around me. “Sweet dreams, Eren.” I blushed as he said this. It was new, and it made my heart flutter, but God knows it was fitting for the both of us.

“Sweet dreams, Levi.”


	17. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys finally leave for training! Finally on their own! =]

Levi’s POV

December 29th

Christmas day came and went. We had packed our things yesterday evening and we were just waiting on Erwin and his damn doctors to show up at the castle to take my cast off and Eren’s stitches out and send us on our way. 

“That’s your third cup of tea.” He said as he passed me the sugar.

“And?” He shrugged.

“Just saying. You seem distracted.”

“I’m not too keen on someone sawing at my arm. I only trust a handful of people. A few of those are dead.” He looked down at his cup at stirred it nervously. 

“Leviiiiii. They are here!” Hanji said with a smile. “You’ll be free soon!” I downed the last of my tea and followed Erwin and the others into a room used for exams. They sat Eren on the table first and began snipping his stiches out. He calmly sat there as the white coat pulled the pieces of string out, leaving his hand in one piece. 

“All done Eren. It healed up nicely. Looks like you’ll have a bit of a scar though.” He looked over his hand, shrugged, and hopped down off the table. “Levi?” I sighed and got up on the table. Erwin was standing in the doorway. I believe Eren was scared to do anything in front of him, considering him a “superior.” But as far as I considered him, Erwin was one   
of my good friends. I had already talked to him about Eren. 

“Jaeger, come here.” I growled. His green eyes shot over to Erwin, but I motion him over with my free hand. Doctors gave me the utter creeps. He walked to my side and I had him take my hand. I leaned my head against his shoulder and wove our fingers together with my free hand as soon as the doctor began to saw. 

“Levi is sort of a wimp with this sort of thing, Eren!” Erwin said with a laugh, “So don’t be surprised if your boyfriend passes out!” Did Erwin really just drop the word boyfriend?   
Ha. Eren is gonna be bright red in 3.2. I looked up to see red creeping up his neck. I didn’t even say a word back to Erwin in rebuttal. He knew me well. The sound of the saw was making my stomach churn. 

“Levi, are you okay? You are looking a little pale.” 

“Ughhhh. Not feeling so great.” I whispered against Eren’s shoulder. 

“Nurse, wet towel.” She reach Eren a towel to wipe my face and neck with, and to be honest it didn’t help. 

“Levi, are you going to be alright?” Eren asked as he kept dabbing my face. 

“Nope. Not really. Gonna be sick.” 

“Shit.” The nurse dove in with a trashcan, but not before I threw up on Eren’s shirt.

“Ugh, Sorry. Me of all people I know.” I tried to wipe my mouth. Eren took his shirt off and threw it aside. The nurses looked at him in awe. He took the wet cloth and wiped my mouth. 

“Erwin, could you find me a shirt, and maybe some crackers for him?” Eren asked softly as he let me rest against him. That fucking saw was still making my stomach churn. 

“Sure!” Erwin was off on a mission to rob someone of a shirt and their lunch. 

“Alright Levi. I’m going to split it now, hang in there.” I clung to Eren. Stupid doctor. Stupid Cast. Stupid saw. I felt Eren’s hand in my hair and it made me feel a little better. Then I felt something cold press into the slot they’d made in the cast. I’d heard a gut wrenching CRACK and the cast split. Then I puked again. Luckily it was in the trash this time.

I felt him pulling my arm out of the shell it’d been in for three weeks. “Try and move those fingers Levi!”

“Fuck You.” I growled as I leaned against Eren. 

”Ugh. Just give him a minute.” Eren said as he rubbed my back. “Take as long as you need.” At this point Erwin returned with a shirt and crackers. Eren threw the black shirt on and attempted to give me half a cracker. I chewed on it, welcoming the soothing salt. 

“Can he move it?” Erwin asked as he stepped looked at Levi’s arm lying beside him. 

“We haven’t gotten that far yet.” Eren said kindly as he looked over at the brooding doctor. 

“Why don’t you give it a go Levi?” Erwin asked me with a smile. I sighed and attempted it. My muscles ached, but they slowly came to life in my arm, making my fingers move.   
There was a slight delay, and a little bit of weakness, but I was just going to have to work on that every day.

“Looks like you won’t be the only one training, Eren. You have to help Levi with physical therapy while you are there. Make sure he uses that arm.” Eren agreed.   
The doctors finally deemed us “ready to train” and left us there in the room with Erwin. 

“Come on Levi, get up.” He pulled me to my feet. My knees nearly buckled. “You are my strongest soldier, and you can’t sit in a doctor’s office while he takes off a cast?” My eyes narrowed and I stood up straight and crossed my arms. God it felt good to cross them! He smiled. 

“You better get shit accomplished out there, do you understand? If you come back here, and Eren can’t even preform a simple task as a titan, you are both going on sewer duty.” 

“You wouldn’t.”

“Watch me, Levi. Don’t fuck around out there.”

“Eren saluted Erwin and I rolled my eyes.” 

“Fine. I get your drift. Work during the day, play at night.” 

“I don’t fucking care what you do at night. Sleep, eat. Roll around in your cleaning uniform until 3:30. Just get the job done, stick to instructions, and protocol.” I nodded.

“Alright. Come on brat. Let’s go say good-bye to your friends then.” 

 

Eren’s POV

We stood by the door as Erwin waited for us. Mikasa gave me a hug and told us to be careful, as did Armin. Everything was filled with uncertainty. I wasn’t even able to tell them where we were going. Levi nodded at them and tugged at my sleeve impatiently.

“We need to go.” 

“Wait, Eren! Just a little something to say good luck from me and Armin!” Mikasa handed me a box. I raised my eyebrow and opened it. A plaid green scarf rested inside the box. It was unusually long, but really warm. I wrapped it around my neck and thanked them for the gift which I really welcomed as we walked out into the bitter cold winter day. 

“Bye guys! Make sure Hanji doesn’t burn the place down!” We jumped into the back of the carriage with Erwin and we were off. Levi still looked a big pale, but he was sitting next to me, staring at the window, mindlessly opening and closing his hand. 

“So what are your goals while you are out there?” Erwin asked suddenly. Had Levi even thought about any? I hadn’t. I began to open my mouth, but Levi began to speak.

“Hanji gave me a whole fucking notebook of things to try with Eren while we are out here. She is coming out every third day to partake in the training.” Levi hadn’t mentioned that. He reach down in the leather bag at this feet and pulled out his planner and handed it to Erwin. He nodded as he looked over it. So we weren’t really going to be that far from base after all? I stayed silent, listening to them talk about me like I was an object of experimentation. It did hurt a bit to hear Levi talk about me that way, but I knew it was necessary. I stared at the floor.

“For God’s sake Levi, reach me your pen.” Levi narrowed his eyes at Erwin and handed it over and he made adjustments to his planner.

“The fuck Erwin! That took me hours!”

“Take New Year’s off. Training can wait for two days.” He held up the planner so Levi could see. All he did was make an arrow and shift everything over two days. Levi’s eye was twitching. 

“M-My planner. Erwin!” Erwin was smiling after defiling Levi’s precious book and I sat back and smiled as the two friends went at it. 

“Hahaha I’ll let Hanji know of the changes, Levi.” After approximately 30 minutes later, we arrived at our training area. It was a little cabin on the outskirts of town, all by itself. Erwin helped us unload the last of our things and bid us farewell after he handed the key over. Levi turned the key in the lock and we were welcomed into a freezing house. 

“He could have a least sent someone to warm the place for us.” Levi said as he walked in. “At least it’s clean. I demanded it.” He ran his hand over the mantle on the fire place and nodded in approval. I was beginning to drag the stuff in from outside as he started up the fire. After all of the things were inside, he turned to me. “Damn, we chose a brilliant bitter cold day to come out didn’t we?” We were both shivering. The fire was going, but it was going to take a while to get the house heated. “Eren, open that brown trunk, grab the comforter.” I did so, finding that Levi had packed all of the linen he had purchased a couple of weeks ago. I grabbed the comforter, and shuttered. It was even cold! “Get over here!” He growled. I ran over, almost tripping in the process. We sat down on the couch together and he practically had me set on top of him. He wrapped the comforter around us completely, and I felt his warm breath funnel through the linen down my neck. He barely left our faces uncovered, well mine at least. His was tucked down in my chest. 

“Can you breathe like that?” I asked jokingly

“Don’t care. Too cold.” I could feel heat off of the fire begin to radiate every now and again, but it was still bitterly cold inside. I began to unwrap the scarf from my neck and I re-wrapped it around both me and Levi. He welcomed the warmth and drew closer to me. We were finally beginning to warm up a little. I dove under the blanket and brought our lips together, heating our faces up. 

“Was there any training scheduled for today?” I asked as I sunk down closer to him. 

“No, today was supposed to me a ‘move in type day.’” 

“Good.” My eyes were locked on his face, scrunched up within the layers of scarf and blanket. “Maybe some tea?” I offered, and his eyes popped open.

“Move, and I’ll kick your ass, Jaeger.” I felt his fingers latch onto the buckles on my pants, and I sighed. Eventually, Levi’s breathing deepened and he dozed off. I was thankful, though my arms were starting to ache a bit. The temperature of the house was finally starting to climb. 

I carefully rolled off of the couch, and tucked the blanket around him. The house was getting toasty now! I stretched and began making myself more at home. I peeked around our “home” for the next month and made our way to our new bedroom with the remaining pieces of the linen set in tow. I stripped off the scratchy sheets (to save Levi the trouble) and began making the bed. Military issued sheets were replaced by luxury as I made up the bed, and I was sure to leave the bedroom door open as I did so. The heat was quickly filling the room. It was still sunny out, and I was thankful as I used the natural light to move about the unfamiliar house. I carefully unpacked our clothing into the dresser, being extra careful to not wrinkle Levi’s clothes. I stored away the trunks, and added a few more logs to the fire. 

I pulled back the covers to peak at his face. He had a look of almost pain on his face, as he was clawing at the blanket. I reach out my hand to him and he took it and squeezed it, his eyes popping open a few seconds later. “Well, that sucked.” He said as he sat up and rubbed at his temple. 

“Nightmare?” He simply nodded and continued to grasp my hand with his. It was odd. I wasn’t used to him being able to use both hands. 

“I dreamt about Farlan and Isabel…” he said as he kept his eyes closed. “I can still see them. It started off as a good dream, then everything turned to shit.” I frowned. Even the good dreams turned sour. There was no escaping. Once you fell into that dream cycle, a good dream was very rare. I have his hand an apologetic squeeze and he turned and looked at me. “Where did you go?”

“I was straightening up. Making it more livable for when you woke up. I made the bed and un-packed our clothes. All we have to do is add the comforter to the bed.” He simply nodded and threw the blanket off of him. Obviously the dream had changed his demeanor.   
He stood up and walked over to the window. “At least it’s warm now. I don’t feel much like cooking. I’m sure Erwin stashed some rations in here knowing him.” The early winter nights were begging to show their colors against Levi’s skin as he looked out over the wintery landscape. I walked up behind him and put my arms around his waist, leaning my head against his. 

“Are you okay?” He nodded and let his body relax against mine, allowing his hands to rest on top of my own. 

“That dream just shook me up is all. It seemed so damn real. Made me feel like a major fuck up again.” He stated as he continued to look out. I watched as my bracelet sparkled in the rays of the setting sun.

“Everyone makes mistakes. You have to stop beating yourself up over it. ” I kissed his cheek and he sighed and turned to me.   
“We both do, Eren.” My eyes shot to the floor and he grabbed my chin. “Listen, today starts day one of dream psychology training 101. We have to surpass this shit or it’ll control our lives forever. Every time we have a nightmare, we have to tell the other. We have to say what we think the trigger was, what we think we can do to fix the issue, and how it makes us feel.” Levi mocked Hanji on that last word. I nodded and watched him closely. 

“Well?” He rolled his eyes.

“In theory that’s how it supposed to work at least. I guess the stress from coming here and preparing for training triggered it.” He said with a sigh. “I’m responsible for you Eren, I don’t want to let you down like I let them down…” My eyes got wide and I kissed him sweetly. “I guess I’ll just try to have my confidence in my leadership. I’m sure as hell not going to abandon you like I did them. I’m a completely different person now. That was a long time ago. Not to mention the fact that I’m in love with you.” 

“How does it make you feel?” 

“Like I really want to kiss you.” My stomach sank and we crashed our lips together. Levi nearly made me trip as he attacked my mouth. Our tongues wrestled for dominance, but his won again. We pulled apart for a moment to breathe and his eyes were already beginning to feel with the familiar lusty haze. “Eren, grab the blanket off of the couch.” I reluctantly turned him loose from my arms and did so. I grabbed the blanket and he grabbed a box of matches as well as his bag. 

I followed him into the bedroom and neatly laid the blanket on the bed as he began lighting the candles for the night. His bag was on his side of the bed and he nodded in approval at my making up of our bed. “Thanks, Eren.” He wrapped both of his arms around my waist and ran his hands under my shirt. So that’s what he could do with both hands. I was blushing now, red was creeping to the all too familiar places he had pointed out. Our lips met again, and within seconds, my cloak was on the floor along with his.

“L-Levi…” I whispered his name against his lips as my hands crept in between us, carefully tugging at the leather collar on his jacket. His shrugged it off and let it fall to the floor, and he pulled mine off my arms. 

“I love the way you say my name you know.” He whispered in my ear with a smile. I slowly exhaled, melting against him, as he undid the string on my shirt. He was certainly familiar with the strings by now. “Do you ever wear anything different?”

“It’s all I have really...They are normal shirts for me.” Levi grinned at me as he lifted the shirt up over my head.

“Not complaining, just asking. It’d be nice to see you in something different. I may have to treat you to some clothes one day. It’d be nice to dress you up.” Levi was very talkative today. Was something up? Hmmm. I simply nodded and started on the buttons of his own shirt quickly. His hands flew to mine, and began to rub them. He pulled them up to his lips and began to kiss each finger. “What’s the rush?” Just hearing him say that made me starve for him. I brought our lips together and my hand found it’s way slowly back to his buttons, finally getting the last one undone. I slid my hand inside and brushed it over his nipple making him jerk and moan into my mouth. 

I did it again and he almost fell back, he grabbed me tight around my waist and I felt his fingertips brush along my lower back, making me shiver. I moved my hand to give attention to the other nipple and I was slowly pulling as towards the bed. His shirt finally fell to the floor, and he pulled me into another kiss, exploring every inch of my mouth with his tongue. I wanted to be next to him in bed! I wanted to feel more of his skin. Why was he taking so long? I looked at him with my yearning eyes as we separated and he kissed my forehead and moved to my neck.

“You need to learn patience, Eren.” I swallowed hard. I had been patient! My cock was the one that wasn’t cooperating! It was aching against my pants and I glanced down at it. Levi rubbed his thigh up against it and set me on fire! I winced and let out a cry and nearly crumbled against him. He caught me in his arms. “Damn, Eren. You are worked up.” He began kissing and sucking on my neck. I wanted those lips on my cock. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted Levi to take off my pants at least. I was REALLY uncomfortable now. I was enjoying his kisses and he was making the most amazing sounds against my neck, but the distraction in my pants was really stopping me from enjoying it. He sighed and pulled away. “Fine. You win.” He ran he hand over the front of my pants and cocked his eyebrow. “Oh my…” My pants were off in a matter of seconds, along with my underwear. My erection was an angry reddish purple and just having it loose from it’s confines made it feel so much better.

“Thanks!” I breathed in relief as he slung me onto the bed. He ripped his own pants off and plopped down beside of me. He simply nodded and began kissing down my chest, making my shutter. “L-Levi…are you okay?” I asked softly as I weaved my fingers through his hair. “You never take your time like this. It seems like something’s been bothering you all day.” He averted my gaze and went back to kissing my chest, which I absolutely couldn’t complain about. Eventually he let out a sigh and returned his mouth to my ear. 

“I’m just…I thought maybe if you were ready tonight we could have sex…only if you were ready!” He said as he ran his hand down my face. My face went immediately maroon, and he wrapped his arms completely around me, hugging me tight, “If you aren’t ready it’s okay. Take all the time you need.” He seemed like he really would wait forever for me. 

“I-I ughh. I think we can.” He raised his eyebrow. 

“You think we can?” He moved his hand to my quivering lip, and caressed it with his finger. 

“I-I ugh I mean I think I’m ready L-Levi…if you want to still…” He smiled softly and brought our lips sweetly together. He tasted so good. It was a sweet, dependable taste that I can’t begin to describe. 

“Of course I want to Eren.” Levi was on top of me and I could feel every muscle. His body felt so flawless against mine. I knew it wasn’t, but under the covers you couldn’t tell. 

“J-Just go slow please. I-I’m a little nervous. Sorry.” I threw the apology in at the end because I truly was sorry. I was sorry he had to deal with a stupid inexperienced virgin like myself. So many thoughts were beginning to run through my head. I was so in love with him. I was so ready to experience more with him, but on the other side of that, I was terrified. I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to please him. Terrified the pain wouldn’t ever ease to the sweet pleasure like it had the other day. I trusted Levi, But that’s a whole different level of trust in someone. He was staring at me intently. I felt my chest tighten and I grabbed the sheets. Oh God. Not now. Not fucking now of all times. My hands were shaking. 

“Don’t be sorry. It’s fine to be apprehensive. I’ll be as easy as possible. I’m going to take care of you…Eren…Are you okay? Shit.” He rolled off of me and sat me up, then he wrapped a supportive arm around my waist. Don’t. Freak. Out. Calm down stupid body! I tried to slow my breathing and stop the adrenaline and panic rushing through me. Levi was rubbing my back now. Wow…I’d done an awesome job of fucking our first time up. Just the thought of that made my chest tighten even more. “Breathe Eren. Deep breathes. In and out. In. Out. In….” I did so following Levi’s instructions and eventually my attack had passed. I sat there with him, feeling defeated and filthy. He on the other hand rewarded me for surpassing it with a kiss, and…something else. He gave my cock and squeeze and brought it almost immediately back to life. 

“Only if you still feel like doing anything.” He said with a shrug. “We obviously don’t have to have sex. That can be when you are ready, which I don’t think is right now…” My heart throbbed and I looked away. I wanted Levi. I wanted every inch of him. I wanted his taste. I wanted his warmth. I wanted his smell. I wanted his strength, every ounce of it around me holding me, squeezing me, pounding into me. I needed it, I was craving it. I thirsted for it. I needed to overcome my fear. My cock was once again standing at attention, and Levi was kissing my neck, waiting for further instructions from me.

“I want to have sex with you. I-I’m just terrified. I’m scared I’m not going to be good enough for you. A-and that it’ll won’t stop hurting, and I might say something s-stupid! And-“ he stole my words with a kiss and grabbed my cock with his hand, making me moan. 

“You’ll be fine. I promise. I’m going to teach you.” I nodded and he smiled. God my heart melted again. That fucking smile of his. He knows what it does to me! He kissed me again, caressing my tongue sensually with his own for a while, before finally pulling away and digging through his bag beside the bed. He pulled out a bottle of oil and laid it beside me. “You sure?” I nodded and he kissed my forehead. He opened up the container and slicked up his fingers, just as he’s done before. “This is the same as before, I’m going to stretch you and make you ready for me, okay. Just relax and try to enjoy it.” I shuttered as he leaned over me and slid a wet digit inside.

“L-Levi! I felt myself tighten around him without meaning too, and he ran his hand up my chest. 

“Relax, Eren.” I shut my eyes and did my best to sink back into the bed, but his finger felt so good there! He began to move it and I let out a soft moan and grabbed the hand on my chest. 

He added a second finger and the level of discomfort increased. I turned my face away into the pillow. “Shit!”

He let his fingers stay perfectly still for a few movements before trying to move them. I winced as he began to move them and he leaned down and kissed me as he saw the expression on my face. Then, without warning, he hit that spot deep inside me, and I cried out. I was in a mix of pleasure/pain and I wriggled around on the bed. I tried to get closer to the pleasure, then I would wince away from the pain. Levi’s talented fingers were relentlessly assaulting that spot, making my head spin. 

“OHHH CAPTAIN! HEICHOU!” He grinned and drew close to my ear. 

“Shame on you Eren using my title like that!” He said with a chuckle. I opened my eyes to look at his face. His eyes were lust filled, with that new found sparkle in them. That sparkle I had noted was all mine. I moved my hand up to his hair and ran my fingers through it. He hit the spot again, and I accidentally yanked it, but he didn’t seem to mind. He just captured my lips again. I felt the pressure again, and groaned as a third digit was inserted. I swear he was trying to break me! I tried moving away from his hand, but he crawled on top of me and weighed me down. “Eren, I promise it hurts right now, but it’ll hurt less for later.” Tears were stinging at my eyes. Levi knelt over again and licked my lips, distracting me from my thoughts. One hand was clawing relentlessly at the sheets and the other found its way to Levi’s back. My nails bit into his shoulder and he hissed, but he relaxed against me, as if trying to offer me his back as well. I finally felt the tight ring of muscle begin to give to him, and he began looking for the same spot again. I cried out when he found it, hands returning to his hair again. After a few more minutes of him stretching me, he finally withdrew his fingers.

I whined in annoyance and he brushed my cock with his hand, which made me shiver. “Calm down, Eren. The good part is on it’s way.” My face was turning redder by the second. 

My nerves were wearing down and I just needed him to get going. I needed him to stop kissing every inch of me. God, why was he making this so hard! He saw the look on my face.

“I have to take my time with you, Eren. Especially, for this time. You aren’t some cheap one time lay. You are special to me. I want this to mean something. Not just to me, but to you as well. Particularly, for this being your first time. This will be a first for me…so you aren’t alone.” My eyes went wide.

“Wh-what?” He was staring straight into my eyes.

“Not physically…but emotionally…and you of all people know that’s a tough area for me. This will be the first time having sex with someone I’m actually in love with.” My stomach did jumps and flips. I smiled and he seized my mouth again, making me moan against him. My erection was aching badly again, I’m sure he could feel the pre-cum leaking out against him. I know I could.

“Well…you ready Eren?” I bit my lip and nodded. He adjusted me a bit underneath him, and he even made sure the pillows were perfect under my head. God he was thinking of everything. He slid down bit by bit until he was hovering over me. He dipped his fingers in the oil again and slicked up his erection and I felt it press against me. My eyes went wide and I tried mindlessly to wiggle away again. Levi put a stop to it by anchoring me with a gentle yet firm hand on my hip. My heart was racing. I could hear its rush in my ears. He was pressing through the tight ring, and my god it was so much bigger than his fingers. I whimpered and closed my eyes, trying to picture anything but the pain. I felt his hand moving over my body, and it was a welcome distraction. He slowly pushed himself all the way in to the hilt and leaned forward, peppering my face and neck with kisses. Aside from that, he didn’t move an inch, letting my body take all the time it needed to adjust. 

“L-levi hurts. Ugh.” 

“I know. It’ll pass I promise. I’ll make you feel amazing tonight. You won’t stop screaming my name, Eren. I love you so much.” He whispered to me. This was enough to distract me for the time being, I began muttering things back to him, and eventually, I nodded and he began to move. I felt so strange. Like an emptiness that I didn’t even know I had was being filled. He brushed up against my sweet spot and I cried out his name and grabbed his shoulder. 

“Agn! Levi!” 

“That’s it Eren.” He slowly began pumping in and out, slowly driving me a bit more insane with each thrust of his hips, which each little noise he would make. Then he hit it just right and I lost it.

“LEVI! PLEASE!” He thrust hard into me and my head fell back into the pillow, nails biting at his skin. All thoughts of saying stupid meaningless things had vanished. Only pure, hot pleasure remained. Only the two of us here in this bed remained. Levi and I were moving together as one, giving each other these feelings of molten pleasure. Just being able to share this moment with the person I loved was enough to make me want to cry, but I held back. Right now was for pleasure only. 

“Levi….I LOVE YOU.” I screamed it as he began pounded me into the bed. He chuckled and captured my lips for just a moment, our breath roughly rushing out our noses instead. 

“Love you too, E-Eren.” He growled. He angled his hips differently and I almost lost it. 

“AGHHHHHHH!!!!” I held onto him like he was going to break me. I felt almost as if he was going to. I could feel every one of his muscles flexing. He was driving hard into me, but still trying to hold me softly, yet firmly and I just couldn’t take it. His face was actually red for once, and it made me blush harder than ever before. As if right on cue the coiling started.

“L-Levi…getting close!” I breathed as he continued to pound into me. His mouth connected with my neck and I felt him sucking. Another mark. I’d have to give him one tomorrow. Yeah tomorrow, right now I couldn’t think logically. Everything was just building up inside. Like a fire, waiting to lick at a fresh log. We were both gleamed in sweat. He looked fantastic in the candlelight, I had to admit. The little beads were rolling down his skin and onto mine, mingling and becoming one.   
Then, as if I couldn’t feel any more pleasure, Levi reach his hand in between us and began pumping me.

“FUCK LEVI!!!! OHHHHH!!!” I moaned and bucked and twisted and couldn’t control the way my body moved, but he could. He held me down and stroked me, while continuing his thrusts. They were becoming more erratic now, and I could tell he was starting to reach his own end. He was letting out his own moans and they were music to my ears.  
A few more thrusts and pumps later and I cried out his name with shattering hot white blinding me. My orgasm crashed into me and I remember screaming as I came. He thrust as few more times into my own nearly limp body until he reach his own end, and if I hadn’t been hit so hard with my own orgasm I would have gotten hard just by watching Levi release into me. He came with a low moan and slowly pumped into me until he went soft. He pulled out and rolled over, grabbing me up in his arms as he did so. 

“Fuck, Eren.” He breathed softly against my abused neck. “That. Was Amazing.” My head was still spinning. I couldn’t even comprehend anything. I was still basking in the after effect of my blinding orgasm. 

“Never, came so hard before in my life.” Was all I managed to get out before my muscles finally gave way and I drifted off in his arms.

“Sweet dreams, Eren.”


	18. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day One of Training! :o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote my last chapter of You're the Universe to Me today T.T *cries* (NOT this chapter, chapter 18) But! There will be a sequel. I hadn't originally planned it that way! BUT the way it developed and such blah blah blah so yesh. It'll be called "Recovery" I think. :)

Eren’s POV

“Eren, Eren. Wake up.” I was being shaken and I opened my eyes to a disheveled Levi looking at me. A hint of sunrise was making it’s way through the curtains. I groaned. Why was he waking me up before the sun was up? “We have training remember?” I closed my eyes again and let my head fall back down against his bare chest with a thud. His skin was so soft. All the way from his chest, to his stomach, to his WOAH, we were still naked. Our limbs were tangled together, and Levi’s other hand was on my back. My face was turning red as I remembered what had happened last night. “No use blushing now.” He said with a smirk. That of course made me blush harder and press my face deeper into his chest. His hand found one of mine that hand been buried under the covers and brought it up to his lips. “I’ll give you 5 minutes, but then we need to get out of bed.” I nodded without looking up. “What, you just aren’t going to look at me all day? Are you that ashamed that we made love last night?” My heart jerked and my head shot up. He was smiling at me, that bastard.

“Of course not.” I whispered as I looked into his eyes. He ran his hand all the way up my bare back and I shivered against him.

“Good, I’m glad.” I attempted to stretch and I rolled over off of him. What I was greeted with was not so nice. Aches and pains ripped through my muscles and I whimpered and pressed my face into his shoulder. He pressed a kiss to my forehead and sighed. “I forgot to warn you about that…” He said as he rubbed his temple. My lower body felt like it’d been thrown into a tree…no I know exactly what it’d felt like. Well in a matter of speaking. Even my back ached. I groaned and rolled onto my back. He leaned over me and kissed me and I felt his hands running down my sides. They were rubbing everything they could, hips, thighs, he even reach around to my ass and I just clung on to him. Way to go titan regeneration for not helping me out on this one!

“I thought we had to be up in 5 minutes?” I asked quietly. He sighed and I felt his hand encouraging me to roll over onto my stomach. 

“We’ll make it 20, just because I forgot about this. Deal? I throw in a free massage.” He purred in my ear. I would’ve gotten hard had it not been for the pain shooting through…places. 

“Deal. I’ve got a question though.” I felt his weight shift and he was rummaging through his bag again. He returned with a bottle of lotion and poured some onto my back. “Cold!” He started rubbing it in to heat it up.

“Yeah?” He moved his slick hands up to my shoulders. Wow, they felt amazing. He wasn’t lying when he said he could do so many things to me with his other hand free. 

“Will it be like this every time?” I asked and then bit my lip. I couldn’t imagine dealing with this every time we had sex. 

“Are you saying this wasn’t a one-time thing?” Levi asked with a chuckle.

“I’m being serious!” I pressed my face into the pillow. Levi could really be an ass sometimes. 

“Sorry Eren, you know I like to play with you.” I heard him click the bottle open again and felt him slick more lotion onto my back. He had warmed it in his hands this time, and I welcomed the loosened muscles of my middle back. His hands were really working the strained muscles loose. “It’ll get easier each time. I’m not going to lie and say that it will be  
instantly, because it won’t. It’ll take a while. You’ll be sore for a while. The only thing I can compare it to is 3-DM gear really. Remember when you first started using it how sore you were?” I nodded into the pillow and jerked as he found an unusually tender nerve buried in a tight muscle. “Your muscles sort of work up a tolerance to it I suppose. Then it doesn’t start to ache and hurt as much the next day. That’s how I always judged good sex though.” He said with another chuckle. I gripped the sheets around me. I felt anger welling up inside me. Why was I getting pissed off all of a sudden? Was I jealous? Shit. I took a deep breath. “Which that was a VERY long time ago. Before I even joined the scouts, before I even heard of a bratty kid named Eren Jaeger.” I jerked again as he moved down to my lower back. I felt him lean over a press a soft kiss to my shoulder, almost as a silent apology. After the kinks were worked out of my lower back (as best as he could get them) he moved to…well the worst area. “Do you even want me to touch here?” he asked softly. I thought for a moment. 

“Only if it’ll help…” I said hesitantly. I felt his fingers brush over and he began rubbing, obviously avoiding the most sensitive area. I was gripping the pillow as he rubbed and I couldn’t help but picture him back there. 

“Don’t get too worked up over there Jaeger, we still have work to do today. We have to wait until tonight to play, like Erwin said.” I shuttered at the thought. How did he even? Ugh. I put the whole pillow over my head. “What? You don’t like the commander?”

“Please don’t talk about commander Erwin while you rub me like that.” I said into the pillow. He was moving down to my thighs now and I sighed in relief. It felt so nice. He went quiet again, and kept rubbing me, all the way down to my knees and stopped. He pressed another kiss to my shoulder and plopped down at my side again.

“Any better?” I lifted the pillow off of my head and nodded. He kissed me and let me lay there for a little while longer with him. “You know Erwin is the closest thing I have to a friend, if you ever wondered…” Levi said as he began playing with my earlobe. Wow. Levi has a friend? Besides me? 

“I don’t mind him, just not while you were rubbing me there.” I said as I pushed my still red face into his shoulder. He obviously took it the wrong way. “You can tell me all your juicy stories about him after we put our clothes on, is that okay?” The faint smile returned to his lips and he kissed my collar bone. 

“I’ll save them for later. Just keep in mind what I said at Christmas. Erwin pulled me out of some deep shit. Which…you’ve pretty much surpassed him tenfold now. Go you.” He pulled me close and pressed his lips gently to mine, licking my bottom lip. “Okay, we REALLY need to get up now.” He lightly put his hand on my back and pushed me towards the edge of the bed, urging me to get up. “Might as well wait until this afternoon to shower. We are going to get gross.” He said with a frown. 

We threw on our clothes and grabbed a quick breakfast. 

“Here, you wear my scarf.” I began carefully wrapping it around him, making sure to secure it close to him. His eyes narrowed at me for a moment, but he looked away as I wrapped it. I couldn’t tell if the slight pink in his cheeks was from the extra warmth for from something else. 

“You are going to freeze to death like that, Eren.” He said as he began fastening his maneuver gear. Wow, it had been a long time since I’d seen him in it. He’d definitely caught me starting too. 

“I’m going to Shift soon. It doesn’t matter.” He sighed and followed me out the door. I was to prideful to admit that he was right when we walked out the door. We had a pretty good walk, as we decided it was best to get as far away from the house as possible. Levi took my hand in his and we walked together through the snow to the training area by the woods. We finally made it to the area and Levi proceeded to huddle up under his cloak and lean against a tree. 

“Hanji’s notes said I needed you to do some kind of a task.” He looked around the area, as if looking for inspiration and sighed. There wasn’t much around, just an icy river to one side and a desolate forest to the other. “I don’t know try building a little dam with those rocks over there. 

“Okay!”

 

Levi’s POV

 

Eren looked a little apprehensive. I would be too after almost chewing through my whole hand last time. I bounced off of the tree and grabbed his hand before his had the chance to bite it.

“Wait! Ground rules.” His eyes got wide. “One time. Only. That’s it. Unless I tell you to do it again. And please, don’t bite through anything vital to your living this time. I like you alive.” He nodded and I let go of his hand and stepped back. His hand was shaking now, but he bit into it anyways, tearing into the skin. His determination was definitely something to be admired. Luckily, on the first try, he transformed. With a huge cloud of steam, he let out his famous roar and started looking around.

“EREN! Cut that shit out!” He leaned down and tried to pick me up. I jumped up on his arm and ran up to his shoulder. “Stop roaring in the walls! We may be out in the middle of no-where, but you’ll still draw attention idiot!” He huffed and held out his arm to let me back down. “Start stacking the rocks.” He let me back down onto the ground and I sat on a nearby log, drawing my cloak around me. 

One by one, he began picking up the rocks and stacking them in a pile. I pulled a notebook out of my pocket and began writing everything down. Had he completely forgotten the task already? He was making a stack in the middle of the training area. After he got a good stack, I walked over to him. He was staring at it. “Eren, think hard about the task! What are you supposed to do? The original task I gave you!” He just stood there and kept staring. I looked at the watch in my pocket. It’d been half an hour since we’d started. “The dam remember? Try making a small one on the edge of the river. Break it down once you are done.” Don’t want the whole place flooding. I muttered to myself. He began picking up the rocks again one by one and flinging them into the river, causing the freezing water and ice to explode everywhere.

“CARRY IT OVER THERE, EREN!!!! YOU ARE GETTING ME WET, IDOIT!!!” I’d only gotten splashed a little, so hypothermia wasn’t a big issue for now. Wow, he really was hard to deal with right now. I kept taking notes in Hanji’s stupid notebook. Ha. I got an idea. 

Eren has a nice titan ass. 

She had to suffer a little if I did. He began slowing down after we hit the hour mark and he let out another roar. 

“EREN! What did I tell you!” He roared again and brought his fist down at me, crushing the log sending shards flying everywhere. I dodged the best I could, but one still cut my cheek. OH SHIT!

I shot my 3-D gear into a nearby tree and watched as he pretty much had a meltdown. Had Eren really just tried to kill me? He ran into the stream and began stomping the dam he just made. I launched my gear at his shoulder and he began swatting at me.

“EREN! EREN! Can you hear me?!” 

It’s so cold out Levi, can’t I just rest for a while.

“The fuck you can! You can rest with me in bed! Get out of there! NOW! I DON’T WANT TO CUT YOU OUT!” No reply. Shit. Another roar. I shoved my blade deep into the nape, praying I didn’t hurt him in the process. After I decent bit of cutting, I was finally able to pull him free, and the titan began to collapse, pulling us both into the river with it. Well this is just going excellent! I pulled Eren to me and kept his head above water as we hit. The ice was sharp, but not as sharp as the rock that caught my shoulder on the edge of the bank. The water was unbearably cold, but I pulled us to the shore. I grabbed Eren, made sure he was breathing, and hauled ass back to the house.

As soon as we were inside, clothes were flying off. I don’t remember whose were first. I just know that we were both freezing. I laid him gently on the extra blanket in front of the fireplace (not too close as I didn’t want him to warm too fast) and grabbed some towels, clothes and extra blankets) I quickly dried us both off and slipped a clean pair of lounge pants and a t-shirt on him. I did the same for myself and put on a pot of water to boil. I was shivering now. I knew it was coming. My hands were hurting, but I knew I shouldn’t warm them too fast or I could really damage them, so I shoved them under Eren’s side. He moved a little, but he didn’t wake up. I climbed under the newly made cocoon of blankets, and snuggled up against him myself. He was cold as well, but we needed to warm up, and body heat had to do the trick right? I heard a pounding at the door suddenly and I sighed. My whole body hurt and I didn’t want to move, but I got to my feet. I opened the door to find Hanji staring at me wide eyed. 

“I came to check on you guys! Erwin suggested I pop in on the first day just in case! And then I heard all of the roars! Why are you so pale?” 

“Just come in, shut the damn door.” I told her the whole story about how Eren went berserk and about how her precious notebook was either at the bottom of the river or destroyed in my pocket, and eventually about how Eren struck at me. 

I climbed back under the blankets with Eren. “Sorry if you mind, but I don’t. I need to get warm.” I said as I slid under the covers with him. I was definitely welcoming his odd few degrees that were warmer than regular. The teapot began to whistle and I cursed under my breath.

“No worries! I’ll make it!” She said happily as she hopped into the kitchen. She returned with my tea, and set it in front of me, then turned her attention to Eren. She put her hand to his head. He’s certainly not as cold as you are Levi, make sure you try and warm up. I’ll keep making you tea. I nodded and snuggled even closer to him, while I sipped on my tea. It was a weird position to try to drink tea in, but I managed. After my second cup of tea, my thoughts were becoming fuzzy and I was beginning to doze off. Somehow, in his own subconscious a part of Eren managed to grab hold and he loosely intertwined our fingers together under the covers. The next thing I knew I was asleep, as I listened to the welcomed crackle of the fire warming our cold bones.

 

A few hours later

I awoke to a hand on my forehead. Hanji was kneeling over me, checking my temperature. I shot a glare at her, but quickly remembered everything that had happened and let it fade from my face.

“Sorry I woke you Heichou. I wanted to make sure you were warming up.” I rubbed at my eyes and looked over at Eren. Our hands had slipped apart and he was just lying there quietly.

“It’s fine. Has he woken at all?” I didn’t need to check his temperature. I could feel the heat radiating off of him. He was back to normal already. She frowned.

“No, he’s been out cold this whole time. He hasn’t even moved besides breathing.” I grimaced at her words and pulled the covers down from around his face. The lines were still around his eyes from his transformation and he looked utterly drained. He was pale. 

“Damn it Eren.” I groaned his name and put my arm over my eyes. I couldn’t take this up and down rollercoaster with him. 

“I-I’ll get you some tea.” Hanji excused herself and I heard her clanking around in the kitchen. My body still ached, but I sat up, drawing warmth from the fireplace. I covered Eren back up. I knew transformations took a lot out of him, but he had never completely had a shutdown like that before. I was worried. I sat down on the couch beside Hanji and we talked in depth about what had happened, as I tried to continue warming myself. 

“So he actually struck at you?!” She was writing frantically in her new notebook. I nodded and set the empty cup aside.

“The whole log I was setting on just disintegrated. I dodged most of them, but I was more focused on dodging his fist really.” She gently touched the cut on my cheek.

“This is going to take a while to heal, it’s pretty deep.” I sighed and looked over at Eren.

“He didn’t mean to. He couldn’t have. He just lost control. It’s what this whole training is about. I cut him out in 30 seconds.”

“But still Levi, he could have killed you. What would have happened to you both if you hit your head when you fell in the river?” I shot her a glare. I had a sinking feeling in my  
stomach, but I knew what she was going to say. “You’d both be dead.” A cold shiver went through me and my eyes traveled over to the sleeping brat again. 

“Maybe we are going about this the wrong way.” I crossed my arms and stared at her.

“Let me stay. Just until you figure it out.” I rubbed my temple. I was getting a headache. I couldn’t even handle Eren’s training on my own. I was a total screw up. I let us both down. “Once you get him to a stable transformation, then I will only pop in every so often.” 

“I guess that’d be best. There is another bedroom here.” Lucky for her it was on the opposite side of the house. “Erwin would suggest it anyways once he gets word of what happened.” I looked at the clock. We had went out early this morning. Right at dawn. It was now 6 o’ clock. He was too quiet. It was making me feel uneasy. I began tapping my  
foot. Hanji began talking to me about her most recent titan theory and I could really care less. I couldn’t stop thinking about Eren. Was he trapped in a nightmare? My chest felt tight.

“Heichou? Your hand is shaking…” I stood up and walked over to Eren.

“I can’t take it anymore!” I grabbed his shoulder and tried shaking him awake.

“LEVI! What is he transforms?!” She stood up. I shot her a glare and dropped to my knees.

“Eren, wake up. Damn Brat! Can you hear me?!” I tried sitting him up against my shoulder. “Eren! Fuck….Please Wake up!” I was screaming at him now, but he just lay there, nearly lifeless in my arms.

It’s so cold out Levi, can’t I just rest for a while. 

His words rung through my head. I let his lifeless body drop to the floor and stood up, my expression going numb. I stared at him for a second and delivered a swift kick to his ribcage. Followed by another. I felt something hot stinging my face, and I realized Hanji had slapped me. 

“LEVI! What the hell are you doing! He’s not going to wake up! He has to sleep it off!” I blinked a couple of times and looked down at Eren. Fuck. What had I done? I turned and walked towards the door and she jumped in front of me. “No way! You have to stay inside! You went into a frozen river!”

“Move. Or I’ll make you.”

“Fine. Make me then.” I went to raise my hands against her, then just dropped to my knees again. I put my face in my hands. A few hard sobs shot through me and fell into my hands. 

“It’s not fucking fair!” I cried out. “He always does this shit to me.” Hanji put a comforting hand on my shoulder and I sobbed into my hands. “And now it’s worse. He said he loved me! And he g-goes and makes me fucking worry like this! I told him I would protect him. I couldn’t even stop him from going berserk!” I felt her hand pat my head and I compared how different it was to Eren’s. It just made me cry harder. 

“It was out of your control Heichou. You said it was going fine right? Then just all of a sudden he cracked.” 

“I guess I had the experiment last too long? I lost track of time or something? God I don’t know. Now he won’t wake up!”

“He’s been out for a lot longer than this before Levi, so don’t worry so much. He’ll wake up. I promise.”

“But I can’t wake him up if he’s having a nightmare…” She gently patted my head again.

“Maybe so, but at least he is resting.” I pulled my hands away from my face and rubbed my eyes on my arm. My eyes felt tired and I just needed to hear his voice. 

“True.”

“Which you should probably do as well. Hypothermia isn’t exactly good for the body, Heichou.” I sighed and walked over to Eren. Shit, I had really kicked him. At least I didn’t have shoes on. Maybe whatever damage I’d done would regenerate by the time he woke up. I frowned and kneeled over him. I threw the covers off of him. 

“I’m taking him to bed. Just a warning Hanji, you invited YOURSELF here.” 

“Okay?”

“So sorry in advance. Eren isn’t exactly the type to know how to stay quiet.” She rubbed awkwardly at the back of her head and gathered up the blankets as I picked him up in my arms. He groaned against my chest and I thought my heart was actually going to leap out. “Eren!” No reply, he just dozed back off after nuzzling close to my chest.

“At least he made a noise!” Hanji said happily, following me to the bedroom. I laid him down softly against the pillows and began layering blankets on top of him. Finally the down comforter went on top. 

“I’ll be out in a few, thanks.” Hanji’s footsteps faded away and I set on the edge of the bed. I ran my fingers along Eren’s face. “You really worry me you know….sleep tight.” I pressed a kiss to his lips and put my body into motion. No way could I sleep worrying about Eren. 

“Levi, you need to rest!”

“I need to clean. This place is a mess.” I went about picking up the soaked clothes lying on the floor from earlier in the day. I moved the to the wash basin, and after filling it, I began scrubbing, almost trying to wash the whole day away. Hanji was wiping down the counters in the kitchen. I hung the wet clothes on a line I strung by the fireplace. Ha, Eren would be happy to know Hanji has seen his underwear. She was clanking dishes in the sink down, and I sighed. “You don’t have to clean just because I am. I know you are tired  
too.”

“I’m keeping you company! Besides, it makes less work if two people do it!” She said with a smile. “Now about my theory…” ugh…

 

Two hours later

I was sweeping the living room floor and I heard an odd sound. I paused and stopped my motions. Hanji had passed out about 15 minutes ago, so I was the only one awake. I heard it again. A groan! I dropped the broom with a clatter and nearly ran to the bedroom.

“Eren!” I pounced on top of him. He was gripping the blankets. Sweat droplets were forming on his forehead. “Eren, wake up!” I shook his shoulder and his eyes fluttered opened. The bright green orbs were staring back at me and buried my head in his shoulder. “Damn Brat!”

“L-Levi?” There was a questioning tone in his voice and I felt his arm on my back and I knew it had been everything in his power to get that arm to move. He was always so tired after he’d transformed. I grabbed his arm and gripped it hard. He squirmed a little, but I didn’t move. I felt those damn tears begin again. They weren’t sobs this time, so maybe if I kept my head down he wouldn’t notice. I moved my head slightly, accidentally touching his neck. Maybe he was still half asleep. Just maybe. “Levi! What’s Wrong?!” I could feel his heart pounding now, and I just gripped him harder. I wrapped my other arm around him and just let my body collapse on top of his.

“Just. Just stay awake if you can. Please.” I mumbled against his shoulder. I felt so stupid and so vulnerable. And so damn short! He managed to turn his head to look at me. 

“Levi, please look at me. I promise I’ll try to stay awake as long as I can. I’m pretty tired still. What happened?” I wiped my face on his shoulder, thinking about how I’d have to wash his shirt later for a moment. I turned towards him and he frowned as he saw my tear stained cheeks. He attempted to reach out a hand, but the muscles on his other arm weren’t working yet. “Sorry. This will have to do.” He struggled, but he managed to lean his head down and kiss my forehead.

“The training was going fine, then you just…went berserk all of a sudden…” His eyes got wide and immediately dropped to the cut on my cheek.

“D-Did I hurt you?” His heart was about to jump from his chest.

“Just the scratch on my cheek. Not a big deal. You tried to crush me for some reason. Hanji is going to stay with us until we figure out why you freaked out….” He had tears in his own eyes now and I reach up my hand to stroke his head. Wow his hair grew unusually fast. 

“I’m so sorry Levi! I didn’t mean to! I swear I-“ I silenced any further stupid words coming out of his mouth with a kiss. That seemed to be the best plan of action right now, and it worked great for calming both of us down. As we broke apart I wiped his tears away with my thumb.

“Of course you didn’t idiot. Now stop saying pointless things.” I continued to rub his head and he nuzzled my hand. “Anyways I went to cut you out, and when I did, we fell into the damn river. You were already out cold, so I had to swim us to the bank. Then I pretty much hauled ass back here.”

“We fell in the river?! It’s the middle of winter!”

“No shit!” I paused for a moment and took a deep breath. “Sorry…I’ve just been worried about you all day. I’ve never had you go crazy like that before.”

“I’m okay, Levi.” He said with a faint smile. My heart eased up and I had to hold the tears back again. 

“You know…I do worry about you. I freaked out earlier, sorry if your side is sore. I tried to wake you up. I might have kicked you.” Eren laughed and kissed me on the forehead.

“It’s okay! That’s what I get for worrying you.” His eyes lit up and I dropped my head down. 

“Stupid brat. Don’t make me feel so anxious.” I kept rubbing his head and ran my thumb over the disappearing lines on his face.

“I really am sorry, Heichou. I promise I’ll try harder. But for now, is it okay to sleep? I’m really tired. My muscles ache.” 

“Yeah, go ahead and rest now that I know you are okay. Kiss me first.” I brought our lips together. It was a sleepy kiss on both ends, but it was enough to get the point across. 

“Sweet dreams, Eren. If you need me, I’ll be here.” I rolled over and climbed under the covers with him. He was already breathing heavily again and I wasn’t sure if he’d slipped back into unconsciousness or if he was just asleep, but at least I knew he was okay. I pressed a kiss to his collar bone and settled myself closely against his side, welcoming the warmth. “I love you, you stupid brat. Even if you do make me worry.”


	19. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More training! Then things get weird!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGHHHH Don't hate me T.T *crawls in corner* It totally just took this turn. totally. =] Love You All Though! Keep in mind things will always get better! Without bad times, good times cannot exist! 
> 
> The only thing we’re allowed to do is to believe that we won’t regret the choice we made.  
>  -Levi <3

A week later

Levi’s POV

“10 times 2 Eren.” I asked with a yawn. He easily drew out the answer in the dirt and I have him a pat on the foot. Hanji’s experiment for the time being was boring. She had run inside to get her notebook, leaving me and Titan Eren alone. He was sitting on the ground looking just as bored as I was. He had recovered quickly after the last transformation had left him drained, and his pure will had pushed him to train the next day even. 

I stretched and jumped up on his leg. He watched me closely. I was bored and I was more than curious. Was Eren really going to try to kill me again?  
“You aren’t going to try to kill me again are you?” I asked as I crossed my arms. He frowned and brought his hand near me, but hesitantly pulled away. “We have to learn to work as a team if we are going to use you in combat you know. You can’t be so scared of killing me.” He whimpered and stuck his finger out towards me, attempting to brush my hair. He ruffled my whole outfit in the process, but hey, it was progress and at least he didn’t crush me. 

“Levi! What are you doing?!” I felt Eren flinch and he looked away. I simply sat down on his leg and made myself comfortable. Hanji’s expression had an interesting combination of terror, interest, and anger.

“Trust works both ways, four eyes! If I don’t trust Eren, how can he trust us?” He whimpered again and wiggled his toes. I patted his leg, wondering if he even felt it. I was answered with Hanji’s excited/horrified scream as Eren attempted to pat my head with his finger. He really made a mess of my hair in the process, but I was more or less fine. I rubbed his leg again. “See?” 

“Fine Heichou! Eren, More math then.” He whined again. Even regular Eren was bad at math. 

“How about something else?” I offered. Even I was bored of fucking math problems. “If I hear another math problem I may have to kill you.” I threatened. 

“What do you suggest then Levi? Obviously puzzles are the basis of my training.”

“Eren likes to draw. Don’t you?” He grunted again. “Pick up a limb and draw us a picture of something.” I jumped down off of his leg and stood nearby as I watched him grab a nearby branch and begin his work. His work was insanely delicate for a titan. I couldn’t even draw that well. I could clearly see he was drawing the wings of freedom. I was smiling as he was working on the details. I could also see frustration forming in his face. “Eren, you okay?”

“Heichou, it’s passed the hour mark, maybe he’s tired.”

“Take a break Eren! Now.” We both paused for a moment as Eren nodded, finished up his line, and froze. His titan form disintegrated before us, and I soared over to him, pulling him free of the muscles. He looked drained, but he wasn’t completely out of it. “You alright?” He nodded and leaned against me. 

“Just tired. Lot to handle.” I picked him up and carried him back inside. Surprisingly he managed to stay awake. I made him a cup of coffee and a bowl of soup. 

“Eat.” He gave me an odd look and I put my hand on his shoulder. He tried to doze off and I shoved the spoon in his mouth. “Do I need to feed you?” His eyes shot open and he shook his head.

“N-No. Maybe coffee first.” 

“Levi, maybe you should let him rest…” Hanji said as she sat at the table.

“No.” 

“But-“

“No. If he keeps falling asleep every time he transforms he’ll be a burden to the Corps. He’s not while we are training, I don’t mind one bit taking care of him, but imagine if he wanted to take a nap on the field. Can you imagine what would happen?” He frowned and sipped on his coffee.

“Sorry Levi. I’ll try harder…” Just the sound in his voice made me want to rip my heart out. I wanted to let him curl up in my arms and let him sleep! Damn it! Why did I have to play bad guy and boyfriend at the same time? I sighed and sipped on my own coffee. I looked out the window, it was still sunny. 

“Wanna try for another go after you eat, Eren?” His eyes got wide.

“T-transform again?” I nodded and Hanji even looked at me funny.

“I’m sure he can do it if he tries hard enough.” He chugged the rest of his coffee and set his cup down with a thud. 

“Levi, are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“I’m not called humanity’s smartest, Hanji. He’ll either be able to do it, or he won’t and we’ll come inside and rest. Either way.”

“What if he’s unstable?!” He was drinking his soup sleepily now, but he was determined to get back outside.

“Then it’ll give you something to study. We have to keep pushing. He’s stronger than he looks.”

 

Half an hour later and we were all outside again. Eren clung to my sleeve as we walked to the training area, and I instead, took this as an invitation to hold his hand. He blushed in the process.

“You don’t have to turn so red you know. It’s just Hanji here with us.” I murmured. He nodded and squeezed my hand. “You alright?” Our feet crunched as we walked through the ice and snow.

“Just a little nervous. I almost killed my sister the last time I changed twice in row…” 

“You can do it. I believe in you. Even if you can’t it just means you aren’t ready yet and we’ll train harder.” We finally arrived at the training area. Hanji had dropped her damn notebook somewhere in the snow and was digging mindlessly for it and I took the opportunity to grab him around the waist and kiss him, pouring courage into his heart. We pulled apart just as she turned around.

“Ready Eren!” She said as she held up her pencil. His face was red and he was breathing heavily. I smirked and ruffled his somewhat normal hair. It was almost back to the way it used to be already. The kid did have some strange things going on with his body. 

“You know the deal. Once.” I said sternly, shooting him a glare. He nodded. “Go back to your drawing. Finish it up.” He tore into the skin on his hand, and I shivered. It never really did settle well with me, seeing him do that. A familiar loud POP! Rang through the hills and Titan Eren stood before us again. I stood with my hand on my blade for a moment, observing him. He blinked at me, frowned and went back to his drawing. 

“Good job Eren!” I called out as I walked over to him. I patted the hand resting on the ground and he grunted. I looked over to Hanji and she was writing frantically in her book. 

“What was that frown about huh? I saw it ya know.” He paused his drawing for a second and wrote trust beside me on the ground. 

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s that I don’t trust the unknown. Does that make sense?” He went back to his drawing and I sighed. Was it even worth explaining? Was I explaining it to the titan or to Eren? Or both? Did he even remember my lectures? “I just didn’t know how you would be during the second transformation is all. I’m sorry….” He continued drawing silently but added a huff. I grimaced. Jeez titans were moody, no wonder they ate people. “Do you want me to draw with you?!” He stopped and looked over at me and grunted. Hanji was red-faced and practically wearing her pencil down. He tenderly broke off a piece of his own branch and dropped it down for me. I started on my own little patch of earth, drawing nothing short of doodles of Eren, Erwin, Hanji and Myself. But titan Eren looked content almost.

“45 minutes Levi!” Eren was beginning to groan periodically now. I had noticed it about 10 minutes ago. 

“Well that’s enough for me. You finished up Eren?” I looked up and he dropped his stick and had slouched over. “Eren?!” He groaned again and swatted mindlessly at me and I jumped out of the way.

“Heichou!” 

“Hold it Hanji!” She froze in place. “Eren! Stop it! Wake up! Get your ass out of there now!” I commanded. Eren just sat there for a minute and I shot my gear into place. All of a sudden, steam shot out and a hand appeared. I helped pull him out. He was breathing hard, as he clawed his way out to me and we rode the titan down. We jumped and landed in a snow bank. “You okay?” He laid his head against my chest.

“Sorry Heichou, Tired. Can’t.” He went limp in my arms and he began breathing heavily. I frowned and lifted him up. Of course he’d be exhausted now. Under no normal circumstances could he transform twice and still be able to move. My heart was beating in my chest. 

“I guess we solved the mystery then?” Hanji said as we walked toward the house. I raised my eyebrow at her. I had no idea what she was talking about. “Eren’s abrupt mood change.” 

“You figured it out?!” She opened the door for me and I carried him inside. I carefully laid him on top of our bed for the time being. 

“He is triggered by certain words after a certain time. It’s like….let’s say a magic combination? A combination of exhaustion and past memory triggers?” I frowned and looked down at Eren. 

“Oh…so I caused it?”

“In a way yes…but, in a combat situation if Eren has an exhausting battle and he hears a trigger word from anyone, he can easily turn on any human, not just you. That’s why we need to work on his endurance. He lasted a combined time of 1:45 today.” I nodded and rubbed his leg. He definitely needed to work some more, that’s for sure. We were gonna be here for longer than a month. Not that I was going to complain. I simply nodded and looked down at my filthy clothes.

“Point taken. Night Levi!” 

“Night Hanji. Thanks for your help today.” She shut the door behind her, and I began stripping the filthy clothes off of Eren first.

“Levi-“ He was already awake?!

“That was fast brat. You are gonna catch a cold if you stay in these wet clothes. Plus they are dirty, not happening in our bed.” 

“Okay.” He lifted up his arms and let me pull the wet shirt over his head. His bracelet snagged in the sleeve and I had to carefully untangle it. He watched it fall carefully back down to its resting place in the middle of his wrist. 

“You next.” 

“But-“ I saw him strain every muscle in his body as he pulled himself up and lifted my shirt over my head. He placed a kiss to my forehead and threw the shirt on the floor. It made me cringe by not, going in the hamper, but hey, he was forcing himself to move for my sake. 

“You are cold. Wear my scarf next time Levi.” He whispered hotly against my ear. He slid off the edge of the bed and I pulled his pants and underwear off, throwing them in the pile with my shirt. He wrapped his legs around me and pulled me close to him. 

“Eren! What are you-“ He grabbed the back of my head and our lips collided together. He moaned into the kiss and my mind immediately flew back to the sleepy Eren a few weeks back. This was going to be fun. 

“I want to kiss you!” He breathed as he pulled away from me. “Is that a problem Heichou?” He ran his fingers down my back and it made me shiver. 

“No, definitely nothing wrong with that! How are your muscles? Can you move okay?” He nodded and nuzzled my neck, mouth moving to my collarbone. I let out a whimper and my hands flew to his hair.

“I’m fine. Sore and a little stiff, but I’ll be okay. It’s hard to move some ways, but I’ll manage.”

“Eren-“ He began unbuttoning my pants now, and yanked them down as far as he could in his current position. I nudged him back onto the bed and stepped out of my pants and underwear. I added it to the pile. “Better?”

“Much. Now I can warm you up.” He pulled me down onto the bed with him and kissed me hard. I couldn’t believe he even had an ounce of energy left. It was amazing. He pushed me down and halfway straddled me (the best he could maneuver his non-cooperative body) He was so warm against me. I could feel every inch of skin, every ripple of muscle. Eren may have been young, but he was slowly toning his body. I was running my hands over him now, watching him closely as I did so. He would let out little moans and whimpers when it felt nice. He began sucking on my neck, this time where my cravat would be able to cover. I squeezed his shoulder as he did and it encouraged him to such harder, making me squirm under him.

“Eren- Damn. What’s gotten into you?” He just looked up and licked his lips and moved down to my chest next. I cried out as his tongue found my nipple. I couldn’t take it! My hand found his back and my nails bit into his skin as he sucked on the tender bud. “OH! NGHHHH!” He wrapped his arms around my waist and continued to assault my chest. I was painfully hard already, and by the way he was rubbing his cock against my leg, he was too. I groaned at the thought of any further torture. “Please Eren. Do you want me to fuck you?” He pulled away from my chest and his eyes lit up at the words.

“Yes…but…”

“But what?” I groaned. I needed relief. I needed Eren closer, needed the warmth only he could provide.

“I wanted to show you I loved you first.” He said with a frown. Shit. Of course when I could barely hold myself back he would say something like that. 

“Oh….well kiss me then?” He climbed up my body (more of me pulling him up on top of me since his legs didn’t work that great yet) once more and I flipped us over. I let him take control of the kiss, even though I was on top and I just enjoyed being kissed. His fingers were wrapped in my hair and it was driving me crazy! I broke apart for a few seconds to grab the oil from the table and slicked my fingers up. He pulled me back down for another kiss before I could even ask him if he was ready, so I just began rubbing over his entrance gently, silently asking if he was ready. He gave me a sharp nod and I pushed my finger inside. He moaned into the kiss and I felt him tighten against my finger. I only made small movements until I was completely sure he was ready and then I began searching for that golden spot within him. When I finally found it, he cried out into my mouth and nearly crashed our foreheads together. 

“Shhh….Eren. Calm down.” I gently lowered him down onto the pillows and softly kissed him again, hitting the spot just right.

“Levi!” he cried again, twitching under me. I carefully added another finger, and his face twisted from the new sensation of pain. I kissed him again, caressing different parts of his body as I went; his face, his neck, his shoulders, his chest, all the way down. He finally loosened up and I focused on finding his prostate again. “Please Levi.” He begged. I licked his lower lip and he took it as enough of a distraction to let me kiss him again. I began scissoring my fingers and found his sweet spot. He jerked and moaned against me and I smirked. I scissored my fingers a few more times, enjoying his sweet sounds. 

“Ready Eren?” I growled into his ear. It barely sounded like more than a whisper, but he merely nodded and pulled me down for another kiss.

“Wow, you are really into kissing tonight, aren’t you.” He was really flush, and I could just devour him. I nibbled on his neck for a moment.

“Just wanna taste you Levi…Love you.” He mumbled into my neck. I smiled at him and dove down for another kiss. I had to admit, his taste was addictive as well. 

“Love you too.” I smeared the oil all over myself and positioned my cock just right. “Open your legs up a little wider, Eren.” He began blushing harder. 

“I-I ugggh Sorry!”

“What?” 

“The muscles in my legs aren’t working so great, you’ll have to move them as you like…” As I like. As I like. Did he really just say that? That was almost enough to make me cum on the spot.

“So you just want me to treat you like a rag doll then?”

“I’m sorry! It’s like all the movement is gone now!” He was bright red. I simply smiled and gave him a kiss. 

“I’m joking. I’ll gladly throw you around and move you as I like.” I opened up his legs and bent his knees up to his chest. His eyes were wide. “You said I could do what I wanted?” He nodded and I slowly began pushing in, drawing out a moan from Eren. It was a weird combination of someone trapped between pleasure and pain. I stayed put for a moment, and simply sucked on his neck and shoulder. Then, after a few long moments, I began pumping in and out, drawing out one of the hottest moans I’d heard out of him.

“Levi!”

I slammed into him hard and pressed his knees up close to his chest.

“Please Levi, Harder! OH!!!NGHHH!” His eyes were shut and mine were glued to his leaking cock in front of him. I could feel him tightening around me and I relished in the feeling. My pace got faster and I wrapped my fingers around his cock. He nearly screamed and the mattress was squeaking and thumping underneath us. My thrusts felt as if they would break him, but I knew he could handle it. The face he was making, the way his mouth was hanging open in that perfect ‘o’. And God knows those sounds didn’t help. 

“Heichou!! Please!” I felt him get even tighter around me and his cock harden slightly in my hand. He was nearing his end and he was gripping on to me tight, holding on for dear life. I timed my thrusts with the pumps of my hand on his cock and had him spilling everywhere with a loud cry within seconds. Just seeing the event unfold before me was enough to make me meet my end. I thrust into a spent Eren a few more times before coming hard into him with a groan. Our breathing was labored and I slowly pulled out and climbed under the covers with him.

He looked exhausted, so I pulled him close, letting him rest his head against my chest. I kissed his forehead, and before I knew it, we were both asleep. 

 

The next day

“Levi, Levi. The suns coming up.” My eyes cracked open to see Eren staring up at me. His eyes shone brightly in the first morning rays. I smiled at him and brushed his face with my fingers

“Usually I’m waking you up.” I said as I lifted myself up. 

“I want to try harder. For everyone.” He was staring hard at me and I could see the fire burning in his eyes. That determination that I loved. He had obviously been up for a while, thinking about everything that had happened yesterday. I ran my fingers through his hair and he shivered. 

“We will work as hard as we can Eren. You are doing great. We are probably going to do twice a day, every other day until you get your endurance built up. This is probably going to go well over the month marker, if Erwin will allow it. Just keep doing your best Eren. No matter what happens. Always fight. Keep remembering your comrades. Keep remembering me. When you feel that fog looming over you, snap yourself out of it, and fight. Stay yourself.” I pressed a soft kiss to kiss to his lips and he nodded. We both got out of bed, and after eating another quick breakfast with Hanji, we prepared to do some training.

“Grab your 3-D gear Eren, we are doing some maneuver training after your regular training.” He grabbed the case and brought it along, setting it carefully beside Hanji as we reach our usual spot. Thankfully it wasn’t a bitterly cold day like it had been before, but Eren had still wrapped his scarf around my neck. Deep in the fibers it still smelled like him and it made me happy just thinking about it.

“Alright Eren, Levi mentioned he wanted to do some trust exercises with you and there’s only one way to start them so transform and pick the Captain up!” Eren froze as he was about to bite into his hand.

“Wait! Pick him up!?” I crossed my arms and walked over to him.

“Yes Eren. Just like back you did back outside the walls. You didn’t crush me back then remember?” His eyes dropped to the ground. 

“B-But I hadn’t…” I slid my arm around his waist.

“Levi!” Hanji scolded me “This will skew my results!"

“I could care less!” I said with a devious grin. I turned to face him. He really must’ve been bothered, because his face wasn’t lighting up like usual. “You always talk about how you trust me with your life, Jaeger?” He nodded and I leaned our foreheads together. “Well it’s gotta work both ways.” His eyes got wide and he blinked a few times. 

“But a Captain shouldn’t trust his life to a-“

“An attitude like that will get us both killed. I already trust you Eren. I believe in you. You are strong. You have to believe in yourself! You have to believe that you can save my life just as easily as I can save yours. Hell, you already have a few times.” I locked our hands together and although there was still a trace of fear in his eyes, the fire was glowing again, ready to go. “Ready?”

“Yes.” I kissed his cheek and headed back to Hanji’s side, watching him transform in front of us. After the steam had cleared I walked back over to Eren and had him lift me in his hand. We began working on various maneuvers, and strength tests. He only managed to underestimate his strength once, and tore my pant leg. He whimpered and gently set me down on the ground and backed away from me, acting like I had a disease.

“It’s just a rip! You’ve done worse in your human form!” I teased. Eren would never lay a hand on my clothes, but I wanted a reaction. He just blinked at me, frowned and scratched his head. “You’ve done really well, put me on your shoulder and walk for a bit!” 

“Nearing the 45 minute mark Heichou!” Hanji said as she sketched in her book. 

“Alright! Give him some commands when I’m up there. We’ll work as a team. No fucking math problems.” Eren lifted me to his shoulder and I held on to his hair. “Nice view up here, eh?” He huffed and I patted his ear. His eye traveled over to me. “You really are doing a good job, I’m proud of you.” Another grunt. I wish titan Eren could speak. 

“Okay! Let’s play ex’s and o’s!” Hanji said enthusiastically. “Make a giant board out of sticks Eren!” He began stripping trees, a few of which smacked me in the face.

“Hey, watch it brat! I’m up here now, remember.” He whimpered in apology and worked a little easier. The giant game board was now on place. Our pieces were rocks and Hanji were sticks that Eren had laid in a pile for her. She made the first move. 

“Okay, now let’s work as a team. We could put it there.” I pointed to a square on the corner. “And block her, or we could go directly, what do you think? Pick one of those two.” He moved forward and lifted a stone into place, going with the direct option. 

“That’s so cool! You two working together! My turn!” She placed another x.

“Hmmm. How about right above ours there? Yeah?” He grunted and lifted another stone. Hanji tried to block it, but to no avail. “We’ve got her! Finish her off Eren!” Oops…wrong choice of words…”Ugh! End the game!” I added. He picked up the last stone and calmly put it in place, ending the game. He put his hand up to his head and held it.

“Time Hanji?”

“Hour and 10 minutes!”

“Why don’t you come on out? We’ll take a break and then work on some 3-D training.” Another grunt and then steam fizzed from the titan’s neck and brown hair appeared. I tugged my boyfriend out of the steaming mound of flesh as the giant fell and we leapt to the ground. He looked a little groggy, but he was standing by leaning on me a little. 

“You alright?” He nodded and sat down on a nearby boulder with me. I picked up the thermos I had brought out with us and poured him a hot cup of coffee. It steamed as it hit the air, but he happily drank it.

“Do you want some, Levi?” He offered the cup to me. I was freezing. What I really wanted I couldn’t have in the middle of broad daylight with Hanji out here. 

“Why not?” I put my own hands over his, enjoying the warmth radiating off of his fingers as well as the warmth of the hot coffee. I tilted the cup (With his hands still attached) towards my mouth and took a long drink and licked my lips after. “Good coffee.” He was blushing now. Ha, he was finally back to normal. And just maybe he had a little more self-confidence.

“Look at you two!” Hanji said with a giggle. “If you would have told me three years ago that Levi would be doting towards someone like that, I would have called you insane! But I’m glad!” She sighed and brushed some snow out of her hair. “I want to find a sexy titan-man to date!”

“Hey. Eren is human. Don’t get that mixed up.” I shot her a stare. I brought the cup back to my lips again, and filled it back up after Eren took another drink. She pulled out her notebook and began writing. 

“How do you know he’s human?” My face turned pink. Really? Am I really turning pink? 

“You…you can’t…be that connected to someone and not feel that emotional bond. I think that’s the difference. Titan’s don’t have emotions. They kill just to take lives. Whether it’s…love or death…anything in between. Humans feel the emotions to go along with the world surrounding them. Especially this human.” I continued holding onto the hand wrapped around the cup, and put my other hand on his head and rubbed. 

“Wow Levi! Anything to add Eren?” He was really pink now, and I turned the cup around and pushed the cup up to his lips and had him sip. 

“N-Not really. I-I know I’m human. I don’t think titans would want to kill each other so…” I kept rubbing his head. “And like Levi said about being so full of emotions. It’s like they are constantly spilling over.”

“Interesting!” Hanji kept writing frantically and I rubbed my thumb over Eren’s fingers and smiled at him.

“Alright Eren, Ready to learn from the master of 3-DM?” He finished the rest of the coffee in the cup and I screwed the lid back on. He was a little worn out, but he looked eager.

“Absolutely!” He said with a smile.

“Alright! Well put it on, and get moving.” He put his gear on and we flew up into the trees, followed by Hanji. 

“Don’t just hang there! Use your muscles to support you. Rely on them, not your wires as much. You never know when the branch will give. If you stay ready, you can switch to a different anchor point quicker!” After an hour and a half of flying around in the trees and screaming out commands and tips, we landed on the ground. 

“I’m heading in, Levi! It’s been fun, but I’m hungry!” Hanji said with a smile.

“Suit yourself!” I looked over at Eren. He was fatigued, but it hadn’t just been from titan training this time. I’d been because I’d worked him so hard in the trees as well. He was breathing hard and as soon as Hanji was out of ear shot I pressed him up against the tree and kissed him. “Do you know how hot you look in your gear? I haven’t seen you in it since we left for our mission outside the walls.” I looked over his body, the way the straps hugged the curves of his legs and hips. I pressed my body up against him. 

“We are filthy Heichou.” He teased. 

“That doesn’t mean I can’t kiss you brat.” I claimed his lips again, running my fingers through his hair. He chuckled into the kiss and it set me on fire. We pulled apart and I simply stared into those bright eyes. “God, those eyes.” I pressed a kiss to his lips again. “They make me fall even more in love with you. If that‘s possible.”

“I love you too, Levi.” His fingers were in my hair now, pulling me closer. A cold breeze blew through the valley, as it signaling an oncoming storm. It was almost unsettling. One more deep kiss and I was forced to pull away. “Go ahead and put your gear in the case, Eren. Head inside and make sure there’s wood. I feel like there’s a storm coming or something. It’s an uneasy feeling. I’ll make sure the gear is oiled and I’ll be inside in a few minutes.” He gave me a hug and after dropping his gear into the case beside me, I watched him run off towards the house. I began tucking it away into the folds of the case and oiling the junction points. The wind was blowing around me bitterly again, and I didn’t notice the crunch of the footsteps until they were right behind me. Then all I saw was pure black around me. 

 

 

Eren’s POV

“Hanji-san! Levi said to make sure there’s wood! Hanji?” The house was eerily quiet. It made my stomach sink. I walked into the kitchen to look for Hanji and felt my body go numb. I could still see everything around me, but I couldn’t move. I fell to the ground, paralyzed. A man stepped out of the shadows wearing a familiar uniform. The Military Police? What were they doing here? He was dragging an unconscious Hanji into the living room. They hadn’t bothered to hit her with whatever drug they injected into me. He hands were tied behind her back now. OH GOD! LEVI!

I heard the door creak open behind me and my stomach sank as I heard them pulling something across the floor. It had to be him. Why wouldn’t it be? What was going on? I was lifted in the air, and just as I was being taken out of the house, Levi’s eyes were fluttering open. He had blood running down his face, but he was alive. I wanted to reach out to him, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t move. Could barely breathe. He was bound on the floor. 

“E-EREN! STOP YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES! GIVE EREN BACK!” He screamed bashing against the wall. He was met with another blow to the head and fell unconscious again. Levi. Please no. Don’t take me away from him! I was thrown into the back of a cart and a cover was placed over my head. I felt the horses begin to move and my stomach sank. The MP wouldn’t handle things like this. This must have been a few bad eggs. At least that was the only conclusion I could come to. We traveled for a long time, and finally arrived at some location. I was led (blindfolded of course) down many flights of stairs) and eventually thrown into a dungeon. No this wasn’t any official Military Police building. Chains were wrapped around my arms and legs and I was bound to the wall. It was so cold down here. Cold, Damp, Dirty. Maybe if I closed my eyes I could still smell Levi on me?

“Open your eyes Monster!” My eyes shot open. I could barely move now. Whatever drug they gave me was wearing off.   
“Remember, when you made a joke of the military police? Well we are here to return that little trick of yours. And learn some things about titans in the process! We’ll prove to that smug ass Captain Levi that we are strong enough to fight you monsters!” My heart was pounding in my chest. Wait. What was he talking about? The trial? That was ages ago. 

“You’ll figure it out soon enough Eren Jaeger!” He said with a smug smile. 

 

Levi’s POV

I awoke with a pounding headache. There was a strong metallic smell of blood in the air, and I realized my arms and legs were bound together. Shit. Eren. I began yanking and struggling to get out of the ropes. 

“Oh you are awake!” Hanji said grimly. 

“They took Eren!” 

“They are long gone, Levi. We have to get out of here, report to Erwin, and follow his orders. You are bleeding still by the way. They hit you pretty hard.” 

“Just help me get loose!” We worked together to get the knots loose and eventually, we were free of the ties. “Let’s get going! We can’t waste time!”

We put on our 3-D gear and positively flew to the Survey Corps barracks. Luckily Erwin was in the building looking over renovation work. 

“Levi, what the hell? What happened?” He asked as he looked over me. I was filthy. I had been dragged through the snow and mud. My clothes were torn and I was covered in blood. 

“They took Eren!”

“Who?” Erwin dropped the blueprints on the table and stared at me seriously. 

“The Military Police. Well I think it was a group of rogue MP. The regular MP obviously don’t bash people over the head without written orders!” I was flaming now. 

“Calm down Levi.”

“Calm down?! But-“

“Calm down. Go have a cup of tea. I’m going to go talk to Hanji. Sit.” I grimaced at him and planted myself at the table. “Kirstein, get Captain a first aid kit. Springer, tea. Now!” Like I really need to deal with horse-face right now too. 

Erwin walked off and Jean dropped the first aid kit in front of me.

“Do I look like I can do it myself idiot? They hit me in the back of the head.”

“Do I look like I know what’s going on? Jeez!” He popped open the kit and started opening packages, jabbing things into the wound in the back of my head. Connie set the tea down in front of me and ran off. I went to reach for the cup and knocked it over in the process, making Eren’s scarf fall down onto my arm. I lost it. My world was crumbling. No. My world was taken from me just a couple hours ago. Jean was frantically trying to clean up the tea with a towel and I was just sitting there weeping in front of him like a baby. He must’ve thought I had finally gone insane.

“Ugh, I’m sure tea will come out of wood Captain.”

“They took Eren!” How many times did I have to say it today? Every time I repeated myself my heart broke a little more. “They fucking snuck up behind me, knocked me out, did the same to Hanji, drugged him, and kidnapped him. And now we don’t know where he is or what they are doing to him, or if he’s alive.” I was panicking. He was shocked. “And I don’t even know why I’m bothering to tell you. Since you probably think we are both shit anyways.” He had a stern look on his face.  
He quietly cleaned up the tea and went back to dressing the wound. 

“I don’t hate you guys. I’m fucking jealous.” I pulled Eren’s scarf closer to my face. Why was this happening? Why was Kirstein even talking to me right now? “I’m jealous of what you have. I see the love you have for each other.” He paused for a moment and concentrated on cleaning the wound thoroughly. The burn of the alcohol would have made me cringe if I wasn’t so completely numb. “I was in love. But…he was killed.” My breath caught in my throat. I felt the familiar burn of quick clot being poured into the wound. Shit. “So I’m sure you can understand why I’m a little bitter about it. Eren doesn’t know so…”

“I’m sorry for your loss Jean. Especially someone that close. I can't immagine...” He put a hand on my shoulder. 

“Thanks! I won’t let that happen to you Captain! I’ll help you in any way I can. I’ll help you get Eren back. Besides, I’ve grown fond of the little idiot. I’ve had to put my last hope in him after all. ” He was serious. I could see the hurt in his eyes now. How had I missed it before? I was too busy. I simply nodded and gripped Eren’s scarf. 

He sat down beside me and Mikasa came running in. “Levi, what-“ I didn’t want to say it again. I didn’t want to admit that I had failed Eren again. I shuttered and pulled his scarf closer to me. Jean understood and spoke up for me thankfully.

“Some assholes kidnapped your brother. They hit Heichou in the back of the head and scrammed with Eren while he was knocked out.” Tears welled up in her eyes. I knew they would. I didn’t want to think. I just wanted to hold him. My tears had stopped at least, but hearing her weep made my heart ache all over again. At least Arlert wasn’t around. No way I could face him right now too. 

“We are going to get him back!” I said in the most determined voice I could possibly muster. I had trouble even convincing myself. “Say…Where is everyone anyways?”

“They are all on duty. We are all that’s left. You, Commander Erwin, Squad Leader Hanji, Me, Jean, and Connie. They ‘cleaned’ out the castle while you were gone claiming there were food supplies that needed ran to and missions done.” Shit. So we didn’t even have much of a team to work with. My heart sank. Stay strong Eren. We are coming for you. Please stay strong.


	20. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren faces the MP and Levi struggles as Erwin comes up with a rescue plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY. SO.  
> Violence Warning, Abuse Warning, Rape Warning 
> 
> You can totally skip over this chapter and be fine, or you can stick it out. I'm posting the rest tonight. Also the first Chapter of Recovery will be tagged at the end. So please give it a try? =] Also. Don't kill me.

Eren’s POV

“Look at me Monster!” My eyes snapped open. There were torches around me now and my shirt was gone. Had I dozed off? How long had it been? My thoughts rushed back to Levi. Was he okay? Was he coming for me? Next my eyes flew to the table in front of me. What was that? Syringes and instruments were laid out on top of it and it made me shutter. No way. No fucking way. 

“You see we’ve heard about that mad scientist Hanji Zoe, you scouts have on your side. Well we’ve got a bit of a mad scientist too and he came up with this.” He picked up the syringe and it shimmered in the light of the torches. I was terrified. What was going on? I tried to move my wrist and heard the familiar jingle of metal. My bracelet. I still had it on. Levi was still with me. I had to stay strong for me. No matter what. “This, Jaeger, will shut down that damn titan power inside you! We’ll finally win. The only question is that we don’t really know for sure how long it’ll work for! But we’ll be able to control you for the time being at least! That’s what we are testing!” My eyes got wide. Shut down my titan power? But how do they know for sure? What if it goes wrong? Wait?! My regeneration! What are they going to do to me?

“Why?” I managed to get past my lips.

“Because you are the scum of the earth. Titans need to die! First a base test!” He picked up a knife a nicked my arm with it, making me jump. It made me jerk away and wince. No. No way this was happening. Tears stung at my eyes. A thin wisp of steam formed from the cut as it started healing. “Piece of shit!” He plunged the syringe into my arm and I cried out. No. No NO. I felt something inside of me bubbling a fizzing. My chest felt funny. My head was pounding. Stay strong. Suddenly the steam stopped. I sighed. I was in slight denial that these idiots could make such a drug to stop my regeneration, but they seemed to have succeeded. My stomach sank. The man was laughing now. His dark features were peering over me now and a swift kick met my rib cage. What a coward! He had to wait until the titan was suppressed and I was chained until he would face me? He called out to his other squad-mates. 

“He’s done for guys! The titan is bottled-up! He’s just a useless kid now!” A guy in a lab coat stepped forward.

“Excellent. I see the drug worked then. Let’s do some experiments on the vessel while it’s suppressed then. I’m not sure how long it’ll last for. My tests were never accurate. They ranged anywhere from 5 hours to weeks. I gave him the most potent batch of course, but you never know.” Please Levi. Please hurry! Find me. These people were crazy! And I couldn’t regenerate. Who knew if they would take it too far and kill me?! My heart was about to beat out of my chest and I was sweating. “Take notes as we continue. Test subject is sweating. Increased heart rate.” The scientist picked up a scalpel. “So you already cut him with the titan active?” The big guy nodded. “What happened?

“The cut steamed.” The scientist nodded and lashed out at my arm. I tried to squirm away but ran straight into the wall. It was more than a nick this time. It was a thought out cut that made me grimace. I choked back tears. I focused on the feeling of the bracelet against my skin. That was all I could do. “Subject has closed his eyes. No steam coming from wound. Would is approximately…2 inches in length. Wound is bleeding. Appears to be normal blood.” No shit. I’M HUMAN! I wanted to scream it, but I held back. I swallowed hard. “Initiate second experiment on subject.” I opened my eyes to see the bigger man wielding a small hammer. Was this a joke? This was plain torture! I slammed my eyes shut again. Think warm thoughts. Anything else but here. 

I thought of Levi’s face. His arms wrapped around me. Kissing all the spots that I blushed. His smell. His laugh. It drew my mind away only for a moment until “CRACK!!!”  
“AGHH! SON OF A BITCH!” I called out. The man had slammed the hammer into my leg. It wasn’t hard enough to break the bone, but it was going to swell and knot for sure. A throbbing pain was coming from my leg. I got another kick to my ribs for speaking out and I gasped. 

“Bruise test complete.” The man said with a smirk. The scientist nodded and began writing down ‘results’ in his clipboard.

“Excellent. Begin bone endurance test.” My stomach dropped to the lowest level possible. I was in the 9th circle of hell. What did I do to deserve this? Tears were forming in my eyes now and I tried to push myself to warmer memories. Memories of me and Levi, they were so hard to cling to, but it was all I had. Please Heichou. Please Hurry. I can’t take much more. Tears began dripping down my cheeks as I pictured his face. 

Levi’s POV

My hands were shaking as I nervously waited for Erwin. I had attempted to drink a cup of tea, another cup besides the one I knocked over, but it had made my stomach turn. Jean had remained by my side in silence and even Mikasa had stepped outside for fresh air. 

“It’s taking too long.” I mumbled. 

“Commander Erwin has to come up with a plan. It’s our best chance to get Eren back safely.” Jean said as he offered me an apple. I kindly rejected it and stared into my now cold tea. I sighed and inhaled the scarf. It was dirty, but I wasn’t taking it off. No way in hell. Not until I had to. It was the only thing keeping me sane. The faint scent of Eren drifted around me as I pulled it closer. 

I heard footsteps and turned to see Erwin approaching with Hanji, Mikasa, and Connie in tow. I shuttered. Time to hear the plan that would lead to the rescue or demise of Eren’s life. I gave Erwin a pitiful look and he patted me on the shoulder. 

“Luckily, we had a few recon on the ground and they saw which direction they went, so we know how to track them. Mike Zacharius is on his way here now. We have word he is a 20 minutes ride away.” I ran my hands through my hair. “We are going to use his odd sense of smell to track Eren. Levi, you have anything upstairs that smells like him hopefully? I know how keen you are on cleaning.” My hand went to his scarf with shaky fingers.

“This is his. He was wearing it before he let me borrow it.” I said holding back every emotion I could.

“Excellent. He should be able to distinguish between the two scents. I want everyone blacked out for this mission. Connie, no offense but I need you to stay here and keep an eye on base.” Connie’s eyes went wide.

“By myself?!”

“Yes. It’s important, but you can do it!” Erwin patted him on the back. 

“Everyone, go get changed and report back here ASAP. Jean, go with Levi.” 

“I don’t need help.” I scowled as I stood up.

“You will if you pass out from that head wound. It’s an order Levi.” I sighed and Jean followed me up the stairs to our bedroom. As we neared the top of the stairs the steps seemed harder. I froze at the doorknob. My breath caught in my throat again. Shit. No wonder Erwin sent him up. Why didn’t Erwin come up himself if he was so worried?

“Heichou, this is your room right?” I simply nodded and turned the handle, letting what was left of the light of the day creep into view. I was walking slowly. Damn brat had left his other shoes out by the bed of course. I’d told him to pack everything away before we left so it wouldn’t get dusty. Then I caught view of it. Sitting there, glimmering in the light, were his drawings of us. I leaned against the dresser and hung my head low as I ran my fingers across the plastic covers on the pages. Fresh tears began to spill from my eyes as I sobbed. I was terrified. I just wanted Eren back in my arms.

“Eren! God I’m so sorry I couldn’t even protect you like I promised!” I felt a soft hand on my back as we just stood there for a moment. 

“Those are beautiful drawings, Heichou.” Jean said after a few moments to break the silence. I wiped at my eyes and nodded. 

“He’s talented. Maybe he can get on as a sketch artist for the scouts once he gets his power under control.” I said as I ran my fingers over plastic again. As I did a note fell out. It was hastily scribbled on a small piece of sketchbook paper.

Be careful and don’t rub these too hard! Ha! They will smudge through the cover. Light touches only! =] 

Love You Levi <3  
Eren (Damn Brat)

I frowned at the note and even let out a small chuckle. “I’d never seen this before.” 

“At least you haven’t smudged them yet.” Jean said with a shrug. I ran my fingers over the note and sat it down in front of the binder. I grabbed my clothes from the dresser and stepped into the bathroom to change. I examined myself in the mirror. My eyes were red. My hair was matted with blood and dirt, but I gave it a quick rinse and a brush. I quickly changed into my gear; black pants, black long sleeve shirt, and I grabbed a black jacket on the way out of the room. 

“Do you have black gear, Jean?” I asked as we quickly headed down the steps. 

“Yeah. I just need to throw it on.” We parted ways in the lobby, and I was already putting on the jacket as I entered the dining hall. Mikasa was waiting for me. Her expression had already returned to normal. Had she lacked that much emotion? Eren was her fucking family. I frowned and leaned against the wall, pulling the scarf close again while we waited in silence.

Mike finally arrived, followed by Erwin, Hanji and Jean. Mike was promptly directed to change into dark clothes (borrowed from Jean) and Erwin laid out the game plan for us. 

“Okay, Mike you are going to track Eren using that scarf Levi has.” Mike nodded and I reluctantly took the scarf off and handed it over. He looked at me as he held the blood stained scarf in his hands and I shrugged. We are going to follow using 3-D gear. Be as quiet as possible. We will sneak up on the enemy. We have officially received word from HQ that we can take out the enemy. And when I say out I mean kill. One swift shot. No torture. No suffering.” Erwin shot me a glance. I nodded. He knew I wouldn’t disobey his orders. “Hanji informed me that she saw at least four men. Levi?” 

“The same. There had to be more though. There were four inside the house. Someone had to be ready with the horses outside. I would be prepared for 8 or more.” 

“Alright, you heard him. Main objective, Rescue Eren! Second Objective, eliminate the enemy!” Let’s move! My heart leapt as we headed out the door and Mike caught his scent. We made and immediate turn and headed through the trees. We are coming Eren! Just hang on. 

 

Eren’s POV  
I was positive my leg was broken. I couldn’t move my foot or my toes and the pain was awful. I had taken a couple good blows to the jaw as punishment for my tears and outcries when they caused the break. My hope was fading, but I wouldn’t give up! I knew Levi would come. He would do everything he could. He swore he would protect me! 

“That about covers my experiments. He’s all yours men!” I heard an awful gut wrenching laugh as the scientist exited. 

“You cry like the girls on the west end! How about we treat you like one?!” What was the west end? He grabbed my hair and bent my neck back and made me look at him. “What do you think guys? Wanna have a little fun with this bitch?” Shit. And here I thought this couldn’t get any worse. The next thing I knew, I was being slapped hard and my pants were being ripped off. Levi. Where are you?! He hit me again, almost making me lose consciousness. I almost hoped for it now. I was scared, naked and alone. Hoping and praying that my prince would come.

“Levi-“ I mumbled groggily.”

“Levi? You think he’s gonna save you?” New tears sprung from my eyes and I thought about the bracelet on my wrist. “You think the Captain of the Survey Corps is gonna take time out of his busy schedule to save a rat like you?”

“YES! HE IS!” I screamed. Another slap.

“Oh, I see. You have a crush on him do ya! Well I’ll teach you how to suck dick then!” No.NO I groaned and turned my face away but he jerked my head down. I felt cold steel press against my throat at the same time I heard a zipper. God No. I slammed my eyes shut. I couldn’t watch. He forced himself into my mouth and I choked. Maybe if I pictured Levi…just maybe I could get through it. His moans made my skin crawl. “If you bite me, I’ll slit your throat!” I didn’t even move. He was gripping my head, slamming it down on him as I cried, and not surprisingly within seconds he was done. I spit it out and glared at him rewarded with a swift kick to the ribs. I heard a crack. 

“Anyone else wanna have a go at him?” He said with a crooked smile. I felt like I would run out of tears. I knew something was holding Levi up. It had to be important. I felt someone grope me from behind and I cringed. God Levi Hurry! I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’m trying to stay strong for you. 

No matter what happens. Always fight. Keep remembering your comrades. Keep remembering me. When you feel that fog looming over you, snap yourself out of it, and fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No shit. I’M HUMAN! I wanted to scream it, but I held back.
> 
> Ha. Levi finally broke through to him <3


	21. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Levi come to Eren's rescue?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the link to recovery  
> [Click Here for Recovery!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2748032/chapters/6160217)
> 
> Read my notes at the end! Thank you all! <3
> 
> if anyone know's how to make this look better yeaaahhhhh  
> Please

Levi’s POV

We eventually arrived at an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town. There was no visible entrance besides a small window at the top.  
“Shit.” Erwin said as he looked at the building. “I can see why they chose this place. It’s a fortress.” He looked over all of us. “Do you think you can handle it for a while on your own Levi? I think you are the only one who can fit through that window.” 

“Yeah. Just boost me up. I don’t want the 3-DM digging into the steel of the building.” Erwin being the tallest lifted me up to the window and pushed me through silently. I fell into the darkness, with only a muffled tap of my shoes. I began silently walking through the corridor.

“Hey! Who are you?” A MP symbol shone on his chest and I glared at him and shot forward, slitting his throat. I grabbed his body and silently dropped it to the ground. I was already filthy. One down. I was looking for a door to let the others in, but all I saw were interior rooms that were run down. I couldn’t find the damn door! But I found a rather pissed looking lookout standing by the stairs. I snuck up behind her, and silently took her out with my blade. I felt warmth trickle down my hands and let her body fall in the same manner. Two. A man in a lab coat approached me on the stairs. He looked wild. I ran him through with my blade before he had the chance to scream. Three.

Down, down, down the steps. God how many were there anyways? I met another MP on the steps, this one was a bit more difficult. They put up a fight, but I won, ripping out a good portion of his throat. I slipped on the stairs and his body fell with a thud. Shit. Another MP came running up and I spun and sliced her nearly in two. It was almost like a scene from a horror movie, but hey, they caused it themselves. Four and five. I found another outside a room keeping watch, which I ran through swiftly and took his keys, opening the door quietly. I wanted to puke at the sight, but I moved with lightning speed. 

There was Eren. Chained to the wall. Naked, beaten, broken, and being used by two useless members of society. I barely had time to take a breath before I screamed and leapt forward. Some instinct in my body took over and almost in one swift motion, I decapitated them both instantly. 

 

Eren’s POV

I heard the door open and I cringed. My eyes were closed. It was probably another MP coming to partake in the fun. Somehow I had managed to creep away from them abusing me ‘there’ but everywhere else had been touched and dirtied. I heard a scream, and it was familiar. It was the same scream he used when fighting an aberrant. It was Levi! I opened my eyes just in time to see him decapitate the two MP’s that had abused me. I was crying as blood pooled around me. Levi unlocked the chains from around my wrists and ankles and dropped to his knees in the puddle. His blades clanked on the ground as he did so.

“Eren! Eren- God.” He was crying. He was soaked in blood. We were both shaking. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me to him. “Thank God, you’re alive Eren.” I was still crying. I was filthy. I’d be hurt in so many ways. I just grabbed onto Levi’s jacket and sobbed. It was more of a combination of sobbing and screaming at the same time. Was it really over? He’d came for me. My bracelet stood out against his black coat. Against the blood covering both of us. “I’m so sorry Eren. I’m SO SORRY.” He was sobbing too. He pulled away just for a moment to throw one of the torches out of the window and shoot a green signal flare out. He took off his jacket, put it over me and knelt back down. “Come here.” He pulled me close again. “Hopefully they’ll find some way in now that I’ve found you.” He was stroking my hair now and his tears had slowed, but the trails they’d left were still glistening on his face. “I’m so sorry it took so long. I’m sorry it happened at all. I’m just-“ I wrapped my arms around his waist and fell against him, finally taking the weight off my leg.

“You came for me. That’s what matters. Don’t be sorry. You saved me Levi.” He looked at his watch. We’ll give them five minutes. If they don’t arrive, I’ll carry you out. He kept his blade at easy access in front of us, but he cradled me in his arms. I felt so bare. So used. At least they hadn’t. Ugh I shuddered at the thought. Levi had seen them forcing themselves on me. He knew. I’m sure he knew it was going to be a rough road for our relationship from here on out as well. Trauma doesn’t just go away. He was rubbing my head, occasionally pressing a kiss to my forehead, and keeping his other arm wrapped securely around me while still fastened around the handle of his blade.

“Levi!” Erwin ran through the door to find us setting in the blood. “Sorry, we saw your flare, but you missed a couple MP on the other side.” Missed a couple? Wait…how many did he kill to get here? I started crying against him again and he kissed my hair. 

“Shhhhh your okay now. You’re safe Eren.” 

“He’s not healing, Levi.” I heard Erwin say as another jacket was thrown on top of me. Just in time for the other footsteps to arrive. 

“I know.”

“T-they injected me with something. Stopped my regeneration.” I managed to point to the table in the corner. “T-Then they-“ I shuddered and clawed at Levi’s shirt. “T-torture.”

“Holy shit.” I heard Jean’s voice and cried even harder. That’s all I needed was for horse-face to see me like this. 

“Jean helped me Eren. He helped with this whole thing. He’s not so bad. Come on, can you stand?” 

“N-No. They.” I paused and clawed at Levi’s shirt. “B-Bone endurance test.” I slammed my eyes shut. I wanted to forget. I just wanted out of there. “I think m-my leg is broken.” Another kiss to my forehead, and I felt my arms being slipped through the jacket. I looked up to see Levi crying again. He wiped his own tears periodically as he buttoned the long jacket over me. It covered me mostly, it was the best of the situation at least. My clothes were torn for sure. No way they’d be able to save them. Good thing Levi had a thing for long jackets. I heard someone else crying in the room and turned to see Mikasa leaning against Hanji. This whole thing just needed to end right now. 

“Hanji, grab that syringe. We need to analyze it. God knows what was in it.” She capped the top and stuck it in her pocket. I felt my body being shifted and Levi lifted me into his arms. His warmth was already radiating through me, and although my body ached and hurt, it already felt better just being next to him. He hadn’t tried to kiss me on the lips yet, and I was somewhat thankful. I wanted to scrub my mouth out with soap. And maybe bleach. I rested my head against his shoulder and breathed in his scent. He was dirty too. That in itself was odd for Levi. He hadn’t been this dirty since we’d been trapped outside the walls. He was drenched in blood. I couldn’t tell if any of it was his own. His skin was also smeared with mug and dirt, and it smelled like sweat. 

“Mike went to call for horses.” Erwin mentioned as we descended the stairs. My leg was throbbing. Hell my whole body was throbbing. “I obviously already called off the training. I’ve had your things moved back by the garrison, they didn’t seem to be doing anything anyway.” 

“I failed?” I mumbled into Levi’s shirt. “We worked so hard for nothing.” He frowned and nuzzled my head.

“It’s more like a post-pone until we are sure what’s going on. Right Erwin?”

“Right. We can’t actually train you if…well….we’ll talk about it later. Now’s not the time.” I knew exactly what he was saying. He meant if I was useless to the Survey Corps now. If my titan was permanently suppressed and I was nothing more than a soldier now. It was night when we finally arrived outside and were greeted by the horses and carriages. Erwin, Levi, Mikasa, and myself got into one. Jean and Hanji into the other. 

We finally arrived back at the Survey Corps Barracks. Home.

“We’ll go scan the barracks, stay here with Eren, Levi.” Erwin and Mikasa climbed out and headed inside, hoping to not find Connie burning the place down.

“H-How many people did you-“

“Eight.” 

“Just to get to me?” He was stroking my head softly. 

“Yeah. They were scum. They didn’t matter.” He said blankly. I let a tear roll down my cheek.

“L-Levi I’m sure you saw what happened in there…” He was looking at me with one of the softest expressions I’d seen on his face before and he continued to stroke my head and wipe my tears away.

“Why do you think I cut their fucking heads off?” he said coolly. “I didn’t do that to any of the others. I sort of….lost it.” The same gentle strokes. 

“Oh…”

“I know it’s going to be rough for you…but I’m going to help you all I can. I’m here for you Eren. Through all of this shit. We’ll work through it.” I let my tears fall on his fingers. “I love you more than anything in this world Eren. I can’t go on seeing you miserable. You’ll be happy again. We’ll be happy. Even if it takes us years to work through it.” He laced our fingers together. Our hands were both shaky. “I’m happy just being with you.” I leaned my head against our hands. 

“What did I do to deserve you?” He smiled his true smile for me and squeezed my hand. “I love you Levi.” Eventually we heard a knock on the carriage door and Erwin announced that it was time to come inside. 

To Be Continued Immediately in Recovery!  
[Click to go Recovery!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2748032/chapters/6160217)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for sticking it out. Recovery will pretty much be about Levi helping Eren trust again. It'll probably involve Levi's past a bit and it'll be about developing their relationship in more of a "deeper" sense. It'll also be about the whole titan suppression thing. Probably a few survey corps missions thrown in. So yeah =] Go read. <3


End file.
